Date: Thu, 30 Jan 1997 23:43:05 -0600 (CST) From: The Drake To: Jae Walker Subject: FLUFF: Apocolypse Part I /\ / \ / \ ________________. ___ ._______ / | / \ | _ \ | (-----| |----`/ ^ \ | |_) | \ \ | | / /_\ \ | / .-----) | | | / _____ \ | |\ \-------. |________/ |__| /__/ \__\|__| `._________| ____ __ ____ ___ ._______ _________. \ \ / \ / / / \ | _ \ / | \ \/ \/ / / ^ \ | |_) || (-----` \ / / /_\ \ | / \ \ \ /\ / / _____ \ | |\ \---) | \__// \__/ /__/ \__\|__| `._________/ / Mailing List \ /________________________________\ _______ ___ ___ ___ _______ _______ | _ ) ) | Y | _ Y _ ) | I___| | | | | l___| l___| | __) | |__| | | __) | __) | | | l | l | | | | | | |______l_______| | | | `---' `---' `---' *APOCOLYPSE IN THE AHO'ELL SYSTEM* Part I Written by SW-RPG Mailing List Members for SW-RPG Mailing List Members ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ *In the beginning there was Fluff, and it was good. Then arose the unbelievers, the defilers of Fluff.* < Rhoon > Rhoon, one by one takes ALL of the Fluff haters, and ties them up, completly striped of all their gear, and possesions. Rhoon looks at all the Fluff haters, and laughss his fool head off....Hahahhahaha Now I have ALL of you! **Days later** Rhoon throws could water on everyone to wake them up, on a nice cool (100 C) Day on a desert planet in the Outer Rim, he sets a ring of thermal detonators on a 5 minute detonation timer, and laughs as he walks back to him ship, and takes off, as the Fluff haters sit down and sweat, and even if the blast doesn't kill them, the heat will, as there is nothing else on the baren planets, completly devoid of life, and since noone is within a 2 hour hyperjump distance (special report), the fate of these Fluff haters is already determined, although it's not a pretty one, noone said the Star Wars life was very pretty. < Christian Rick > When he sees Rhoon take off with his ship Trac Shaddar walks to the captured fluff haters, these beings who's hatred of the fluff is so strong that they will do anything to destroy it are dangerous, they can destroy the reallity of the fluff much like the infamous KJA. But if controlled they could be used against his enemies. Yes these beings are too useful to have killed, Trac pulls out his ancient sith artifact and points it on the helpless fluff haters. For a split second the fabric of real-time-space disolves and the fluff haters are absorbed into the artifact. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ *It is here where our story truly begins.* < Chris Koch > Somewhere, on a small moon in the Aho'ell (pronounced A-O-L) System, there is a mountain. In that mountain, there are many caves. In one of those caves, is an ancient vault, sealed tight for millenia. And inside that vault is one of the most malignant forces this galaxy has ever had the misforutne to encounter. Somewhere, this vault just opened. ********************************* Somewhere, on a planet ever-so-slightly out of chronal synch with the rest of the universe, there is a palace. The palace of the legendary Dark Empress Jae. Empress Jae collapsed forward out of her throne, screaming, and grasping her head as if it was fully prepared to split in two. "S-s-something's wrong...such power...and rage...evil beyond even MY capacity!" The Empress was not alone in her pain. Accross the galaxy, all those in tune with the Force experienced similar episodes. The magnitude varied, from the powerful siezures and apocalyptic visions experienced by the Empress and other high-level Force-Wielders, to the migrane headaches and strange uneasiness experienced Jedi Neophytes galaxy-wide. ********************************* The Wroonian adventurer Limaan Lyym, who was just barely in touch with the Force, felt a headache coming on. He took a few aspirin, and decided to lay off the Wookie Ale for the rest of the night. "That stuff'll probably kill me someday.", he said. "Ah well, c'est la vie." Limaan hopped out of the pilots seat, and strode purposefully out of the cockpit of the Forsaken II. He then procceeded to purposfully stride over to the autochef, and say to it, in a very purposeful manner: "Lum." The autochef hummed. It buzzed. It even twittered a little. It then opened, and produced a bottle. Limaan reached out, siezed the bottle, and sampled its contents. Yes, he was positive now. This drink the autochef consistantly produced was, almost, but not entirely, quite exactly unlike Lum. Limaan then procceeded to purposefully kick the autochef. Damian Yor came charging out of his quarters, and into the main living area of the Forsaken II. He held his lightsaber in one hand, and grasped his head with the other. He was screaming. Loudly. Limaan looked at the bottle in his hand. He then looked at the screaming Jedi in front of him. He looked at the bottle again, and chucked it over his shoulder. "Damian...you OK man?" he queried. "Evil...great evil...the power...THE POWER!" said Damian before he collapsed to the floor. "Geez!" blurted Limaan, shocked. He ran over to his fallen comrade. Yes, he still had a pulse. And his breathing was steady. Limaan was reaching for a medpack when Damian awoke. "Ugh..." moaned the Jedi. "Limaan? You there man?" "Yeah, right here. What the hell just happened?" "I'm not quite sure...set a course for the Aho'ell system." "Huh? Aho'ell system but why?..." "Don't ask. It's a Jedi thing." "Fine, whatever, I'll set the course." replied Limaan. "But," he added, as he stepped into the cockpit, "if you're gonna be comin' runnin' outta yer bedroom like that often, I'd prefer if you didn't sleep in the nude." Damian Yor looked down at himself. "Oh." he half-mumbled as he reentered his quarters. "Such evil...and such power!" he thought. "What am I getting us into?..." ********************************* Somewhere, in a cave on a mountain on a small moon in the Aho'ell System, an ancient vault just cracked open. Out of the ruins of this vault stepped a dark figure, one wrapped in its own shadows. "Finally..." spoke the figure, in a raspy, yet powerful voice. "Finally...I am free! After countless millennia imprisoned in that crypt! Now...now Criv'ix K'thuk is free, to unleash his evil on the universe once more!!" And with that, the figure vanished. And so did the small moon. The small moon somewhere in the Aho'ell System. ********************************* < MSTR Trench > The vault had opened...but Harlan Kezler didn't know. His brother Ranloo was sitting talking with their long-time Jedi friend Talon L'Antis while Harlan brushed the breadcrumbs off of his jacket. "You guys ever gonna shut up?" he said, annoyed. "Aww, c'mon, Harlan. Ranloo and I were only----" Suddenly he gripped his head and started howling like a Kowakian lizard-monkey during mating season. Ranloo began to laugh hysterically. "Cut it out, Talon. All I said was for you guys to shut up. Lighten up, man." "No, Harlan, he's hurt." Ranloo was looking at his friend curiously. "Oh, no, don't tell me one of those stupid vaults opened up again." Harlan pulled out his vibroknife. "'Fraid so," his brother said. "The EVIL is here. The DARK SIDE is breaking loose. Must...resist...must...resist... ...will not pass out...." And with that, he gave a moan and his head sank down on the table. Harlan put his vibroknife back and instead took a bucket of water. The cold shower woke the stunned Jedi up. "That was funky..." he said, a dazed smile on his face. "I think we'd better get him to the medical lab..." Ranloo bent down. "Come on...I am fi-ine!!!!" Talon got up. "Watch me now!!!" he said, and ignited his lightsaber. He was about to bring it down on a supporting beam had Harlan not kicked him in the rear. "Aww man, I was just havin' fun!!!" Harlan knocked him unconscious with the bucket and began to drag him outside. "I think we'd better restrain him. And gag him too." "No," Ranloo said, "there might be something to his babblings." And as it turned out, not only did they find 50 credits and a gas container, they also found an affordable teddy Chadra'Fan for luck on their journey to Aho'ell.... ********************************* < Klingon Dave > Elsewhere Ashton Revell started up in bed, the sudden Disturbance in the Force (tm) waking him urgently. "Something's wrong," he muttered. "As if millions of voices--no, that's not right. More like a major matter-energy displacement. . ." He was out of bed in an instant, pulling on his orange flight suit and clipping his lightsaber to his belt. The Jedi winced at the sudden movement, still feeling the after-effects of the Empress's New Year's Eve party. A quick use of his Detoxify Poison power cleared that up, though. On his way out the door, he shouted an instruction to the housekeeper droid to feed the katarn, and headed for the hangar. "Ashton!" He stopped suddenly, his hand on the saber. "Master Avix?" "Yes, Ashton. Listen carefully--there isn't much time. You must go to the Aho'ell system. A great evil has re-awakened there. Now hurry!" The voice disappeared as suddenly as it had come, and Revell ran for the hangar. He vaulted into the X-Wing cockpit with a small push from the Force and began the pre-flight warmup. "All ready, Deefor?" The small astromech burbled an agreement, and he activated the repulsorlift engines, guiding the starfighter out of the hangar and into the atmosphere. He'd be at Aho'ell in a matter of hours. . .or at least whenever DAVE (tm) decided to post again. . . ********************************* < Christian Rick > On a small moon far, far away a invasion force had just brought down the local defences. Out of the smoke stepped a dark hooded figure. "Yessss... everything is exceding exactly as I had planed it. Soon will all the San'tas system be mine!" Trac Shaddar walked over the battle field watching the destruction his troops had made. "Yes, soon will I have enough power to challange the Jedi Knights. It will be a new era, a era of the Dark Side... Yes, so shall it be" He had now reached the smoking ruins of the once so great San'tas strong hold, nothing could stand against his mandalorian troops. Suddenly he sensed a disturbance in the force, he had waited for along time for something like this happend. Someone had opened --->THE VAULT<---!!! Trac Shaddar instantly knew that this was the kind of power he needed to defeat the Jedi Knights, the galaxy's misfortune would be his fortune. He would not only be the dark master of the sith, keeper of the darker and sinister secrets, he would also be the master of Aho'ell!!! Now would his old Jedi friends regret that they forgot his birthday!!! Yes now after so many years it would be time for vengance!!! He gathered his fleet and set out for the Aho'ell system... ********************************* < Chris Koch > "So..." said Criv'ix K'thuk, to no one in particular, "Forces are aligning against me. I expected no less. Things have changed since my imprisonment. This whole galaxy is tainted with the residue of the Dark Side. The minds of the few sentients on this mudball have told me much...the fall of the Jedi...the rise of a Dark Empire...and its fall. And now the Jedi are poised to rise again..." he trailed off, lost in his own mind. "No matter. I will NOT be stopped! No foolish Jedi seeking to save creation, nor foolhardy Sith seeking to claim my power, no power in the history of time can match mine!! I will stand tall above all these foolish mortals, and I WILL CRUSH THEM!!! PALPATINE'S REIGN OF TERROR WAS ONLY THE BEGINNING!! THE UNIVERSE WILL NOT CALL ME EMPORER...IT WILL CALL ME GOD!!! LET IT BEGIN!!!!!" and with that, the darkness spread. Snapping outwards, consuming every molecule of the moon K'thuk stood upon. Within seconds, it was impossible to tell where the planet ended, and the man began. They were now one within the darkness. "THIS ROCK...THIS PLACE OF MY IMPRISONMENT...THIS SHALL BE MY FORTRESS. NOW TO BUILD MY ARMY..." K'thuk's mind spread, puncturing the boundary between dimensions, reaching out through all realities...and tightend around all those within the Dark Side. He siezed them all, brining them under his power, and into his dimension. "Good...many here are strong in the Dark Side." he said. "YOU!", he bellowed, pointing at one of the figures, "You are Trac Shaddar, are you not?" "Yes..." replied the entranced figure. "You shall be one of my lieutenants..." with that he brought Shaddar to him. "You...and...YOU!" he pointed at Eildath the Dark, Grand Master of the New Imperium. "I live only to serve you master." said the Dark One. "Now," mumbled K'thuk, "I need only a queen. I sense one...but she tries to stay out of my reach...I WILL HAVE HER!" ********************************* On her shrouded world, Empress Jae fought to maintain control of her mind. "I will not fall!" she shouted, sure that her assailant could hear. "I...cannot allow this..." with that the Empress concentrated what might she had left and summoned up the greatest of her Force Artifacts. "A last chance...", she gasped, "...for the universe..." concentrating, the Empress shunted the small device back into real time. Seconds later, she vanished. ********************************* < "James A." > Hunched over the remains of a masticated Chrysalid, Rogrog the Gamorrean felt tendrils of some Dark Matter (TM) wash over his mind. Searching through the dim recesses of his mind, the Dark Matter (TM) grasped vainly for something to cling to, to draw it back to it's master. But there was nothing to grab. In disgust, the Dark Matter (TM) passed on, searching for a more viable target. With barely a shrug, Rogrog continued his meal. Where there once was nothing, there now was something, a dark and evil deed which was about to be wrought. But without the site of any decent meal in it, Rogrog payed no attention to it...for now.... ********************************* < The Drake > Drake lies tossing and turning in his bed. Sweat pouring from his brow. Suddenly he jerks upright and gasps for air. "Dear Dark Lord! What was that? Some strange dream of a bearded fat man and a sleigh from hell! Good grief!" Drake slowly began to get dressed. As he stood up to pull on his pants, a searing pain smashed into his head and he toppled over with a loud thud! "What - is - this? Pain! Ahhhh...." At this moment, Roselita, his Twi'lek maid walked into his room. She looked down and saw Drake moaning and squirming on the floor with his pants around his ankles. "Roselita", Drake mumbled, "help - me!" "You don't pay me *that* much!", came her reply. Suddenly the pain in Drake's head stopped. He jolted up to his feet and finished dressing as Roselita began breakfast. "No time for food, Rosey! I have an appointment with destiny!" "Destiny my ass! You're gonna sit here and eat these damn Kowokian Firebird eggs that I so painstakingly prepared!" Drake didn't hear her as he ran to the Vermithrax Traitor. As he jumped inside he landed on red felt hat in the pilots seat. "What the. . . ?" He looked down and written on the computer's console was - Nice dream? ********************************* < Jedi Iles > "AAAAAAGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!," Jedi Master Iles politely said as an intense surge of pain and Dark Side energy pumped through his head, causing him to very nearly collide with the Bulk Freighter he had been flying by near the shipyards at the system catalogued as D-M-Cee-I. "Dammit, why do people always release Dark Side energy so much at a time!?! Can't they just let out a little bit here, a little bit there? Wait...I feel a FLUFF coming on, don't I? Well, no FLUFF since the Ale Quest has quite gone off without me...they always need a Master to save them from the clutches of SPAM and Dark Zima." Using his Jedi Power named <> he determined the location of the new Dark Side System. "The Aoh'ell system, should'a guessed it would be the next one...always thought it should have been named 'Ao'Hell', peronally. Well, off to save the galaxy again. Let it begin." The Master lept off to hyperspace (with the assistance of his modified Armageddon-class TIE fighter and a hyperdrive engine) to the Aoh'ell system. ********************************* < Matt Francis > Cuthbert Fett pulled himself off the floor of his cabin. His head felt like the 12th Galactic Rancor Symphony Choir had been playing an all-night gig in his head, backed up by Hutt percussionists and conducted by KJA. He looked at the KJA Light in his hand, grimaced and threw it in the bin. "Computer, what in Gonk's name happened?" His thrice partitioned CPU chimed up all at once: "Hangover" "Meteor Storm" But the third one paused "Actually sir in light of your recent development of force sensitivity this cranial distortion would appear to be a manifestation of a great disturbence in the force." "As long as thats sorted then" Muttered Cuthbert. "Set course for the Aho'ell system." He paused for thought. "And ration the Spam." A day later the streaking lines of hyperspace settled and Fett was in the dreaded Aho'ell system. And then he said, quoting his older brothers time honoured speech at the sarlaac pit on Tatooine: "AAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH!" ********************************* < The Drake > Drake ran back from the lavatory. He gasped in horror as he entered the cockpit. "What have you done, Vermithrax?!" Drake stared around at the lavish pink interior of the cockpit. A feather boa lay draped across the back of his chair and South Pacific was playing on the intercome. "I just took the liberty of redecorating the cockpit, sir. It looked too blah!" "Blah my ass! I *liked* the way the cockpit was!" Drake slaped his forehead as he sank into his pink, fluffy chair. "I think my computer is sick!" "Sir!", Vermithrax chirped. "I thought you should know that I am reading a lot of ships heading for the Aho'ell system. Shall I power up the weapons?" "To do what? Shoot confetti?" ********************************* _ (_) ____.--^. /: / | /: `--=--' /: __[\==`-.___ /__|\ _~~~~~ ~~--..__ \ \|::::|-----.....___|~-. \ _\_~~~~~-----:|:::_____//---...___ [\ \ __ -- \ ~ \_ ~~~==------==-...____ [==========================================================- / __/__ -- /__ -- /___....----''''~~~~ / / == ____....=---='''~~~~ /___....--=-''':~~~~ ~--~