Return-path: Received: from listmail.aol.com (listmail.aol.com) by DRYCAS.CLUB.CC.CMU.EDU (PMDF V5.0-5 #7763) id <01IAY0KUMUR08WVYJU@DRYCAS.CLUB.CC.CMU.EDU> for JAE@DRYCAS.CLUB.CC.CMU.EDU; Tue, 22 Oct 1996 13:06:51 -0400 (EDT) Received: from LISTSERV.AOL.COM by listmail.aol.com (LSMTP for Windows NT v1.0a) with SMTP id B91D2130 ; Tue, 22 Oct 1996 13:05:39 -0400 Received: from LISTSERV.AOL.COM by LISTSERV.AOL.COM (LISTSERV-TCP/IP release 1.8c) with spool id 5953585 for SW-RPG@LISTSERV.AOL.COM; Tue, 22 Oct 1996 12:56:54 -0400 Received: from its.wlkp.ternet.pl (its.wlkp.ternet.pl [195.116.11.2]) by listserv.aol.com (8.6.12/8.6.12) with ESMTP id MAA08673 for ; Tue, 22 Oct 1996 12:56:49 -0400 Received: from mod1.wlkp.ternet.pl (mod1 [195.116.11.11]) by its.wlkp.ternet.pl (8.6.12/8.6.9) with SMTP id TAA10216 for ; Tue, 22 Oct 1996 19:06:20 +0200 Date: Thu, 24 Oct 1996 19:25:39 +0000 From: Leszek Karlik Subject: FLUFF: A newbie... Sender: Star Wars Role Playing Game Discussion Group To: SW-RPG@LISTSERV.AOL.COM Reply-to: Leszek Karlik Message-id: <199610221706.TAA10216@its.wlkp.ternet.pl> X-Mailer: Pegasus Mail for Windows (v2.23) Content-transfer-encoding: 7BIT Priority: normal Comments: Authenticated sender is Hi everybody... Captain Needa stood upon the bridge of the massive Eclipse-class Super Star Destroyer. She was charged with guarding Drycas system. If she would fail the Empress would have her head... but who - or what - could possibly challenge the might of Eclipse? "Captain! Captain! There's something on our scanners!" "Where is it?" "Umm... we are currently trying to determine it's current position... but the scanners cannot get a lock on this thing." "CAPTAIN! It's directly BEFORE the bridge!" "DEFLECTOR SHIELDS UP!" "WARNING! Klinton Warcat decloaking!" Captain Needa stared in disbelief as the funny silhouette of popular HoloNet show starship appeared just before the bridge. The deflector shields were slowly charging up, but it was already too late... Two compressed mail packets left Warcat's torpedo launchers... The last thing Captain Needa saw in her life was a giant block of words that ripped through the Eclipse's bridge... "Oh no..." she thought "the Empress is not going to be pleased..." The mail packets consisted of one word - SPAM. Behind the Warcat's controls, hooded figure smiled grimly. The first part of his plan was done. Using his new ship - designed by a Verpine colony held under the thrall of his power in the Dark Side - and cloaking device from HoloNet Shareware section - he gained acces to Drycas vaults. Sure, his slicers have already downloaded all the info from Drycas - but now, he was going to see the famed Drycas datavaults and he was finally going to confront the Empress. Les'thalas, master of all aspects of the Force was only hoping that nobody would call him the dreaded N. word. He was NOT a newbie! He had spent two weeks reading datalogs stolen from Drycas Datacore. 14 Megadices of information - and it only took him two weeks... Les'thalas kicked in the sublight drive, and his trusty Warcat started his descent towards Drycas surface. He had his trusty lighsaber ready, but he also had a few tricks for the Empress... And only one thing bothered him. The writing in the corner of the cloaking device... Who exactly was this Wing Commander Luna? Leszek Karlik bear@wlkp.ternet.pl Return-path: Received: from listmail.aol.com (listmail.aol.com) by DRYCAS.CLUB.CC.CMU.EDU (PMDF V5.0-5 #7763) id <01IAZ0A3DCEKHXIRHF@DRYCAS.CLUB.CC.CMU.EDU> for JAE@DRYCAS.CLUB.CC.CMU.EDU; Wed, 23 Oct 1996 06:08:57 -0400 (EDT) Received: from LISTSERV.AOL.COM by listmail.aol.com (LSMTP for Windows NT v1.0a) with SMTP id 82F6C630 ; Wed, 23 Oct 1996 06:07:46 -0400 Received: from LISTSERV.AOL.COM by LISTSERV.AOL.COM (LISTSERV-TCP/IP release 1.8c) with spool id 5983260 for SW-RPG@LISTSERV.AOL.COM; Wed, 23 Oct 1996 05:59:01 -0400 Received: from pinus.tt.luth.se (pinus.tt.luth.se [130.239.136.128]) by listserv.aol.com (8.6.12/8.6.12) with SMTP id FAA18551 for ; Wed, 23 Oct 1996 05:58:55 -0400 Received: from student.tt.luth.se (bebop.tt.luth.se) by pinus.tt.luth.se with SMTP (5.67b/IDA-1.2.8-NS) id AA20196; Wed, 23 Oct 1996 12:09:11 +0200 Received: from BEBOP/MAILQUEUE by student.tt.luth.se (Mercury 1.12); Wed, 23 Oct 96 12:09:36 MET+0100 Received: from MAILQUEUE by BEBOP (Mercury 1.12); Wed, 23 Oct 96 12:09:29 MET+0100 Date: Wed, 23 Oct 1996 05:59:01 -0400 From: URBAN LUNDQVIST Subject: Re: FLUFF: A newbie... Sender: Star Wars Role Playing Game Discussion Group To: SW-RPG@LISTSERV.AOL.COM Reply-to: URBAN LUNDQVIST Message-id: <16CA4CF3C44@student.tt.luth.se> Organization: SKERIA Utveckling/HLu MIME-version: 1.0 X-Mailer: Pegasus Mail for Windows (v2.42a) Content-type: text/plain; charset=ISO-8859-1 Content-transfer-encoding: Quoted-printable Priority: normal From the former episode: > And only one thing bothered him. The writing in the corner of the > cloaking device... Who exactly was this Wing Commander Luna? =94ARROGHA, ARROGHA, ARROGHA...=94 The silence of the night is shattered by ear-deafening blasts, and a figur= jumps out of his bed with a surprised gasp. =94What the h**l is going on!=94 He shouts. The rumpled figure with a slig= htly unshaven look to his tanned face rushes to his control panel and pales. =94Oh no, somebody is using my prototype cloaking device in the Star Wars = galaxy, I better look who the heretic is who believes he can do such thing unpunis= hed =94 he thinks. Frantic activity at the long-range sesnor controls gives a most astoundish= ing answer. =94One of the dreaded N=92s=94, long thought to be banished from t= he universe. =94I=92m in big trouble and he is using SPAM torpedoes...=94 Time to call in the big artillery, =94it=92s not just my reputation that i= s in danger, even the mighty Empress with her lithe body is in jeopardy.=94 =94Were is all the veteran spammers when you need them?=94, Wing Commander= Luna thinks while he beats the galactic record on 100 meters in order to get to his ol= d sturdy Y-Wing, model BTL-E9... Wing Commander Luna Urban Lundqvist Homepage: http://www.sdf.luth.se/~luna Return-path: Received: from listmail.aol.com (listmail.aol.com) by DRYCAS.CLUB.CC.CMU.EDU (PMDF V5.0-5 #7763) id <01IAZFUKUN5UHXIRHF@DRYCAS.CLUB.CC.CMU.EDU> for JAE@DRYCAS.CLUB.CC.CMU.EDU; Wed, 23 Oct 1996 13:35:21 -0400 (EDT) Received: from LISTSERV.AOL.COM by listmail.aol.com (LSMTP for Windows NT v1.0a) with SMTP id DF7AF910 ; Wed, 23 Oct 1996 13:34:10 -0400 Received: from LISTSERV.AOL.COM by LISTSERV.AOL.COM (LISTSERV-TCP/IP release 1.8c) with spool id 5993843 for SW-RPG@LISTSERV.AOL.COM; Wed, 23 Oct 1996 13:25:22 -0400 Received: from i-2000.com (i-2000.com [204.97.92.2]) by listserv.aol.com (8.6.12/8.6.12) with ESMTP id NAA12568 for ; Wed, 23 Oct 1996 13:25:21 -0400 Received: from 207.97.139.70 (dyn5.access1.babylon.i-2000.net [207.97.139.70]) by i-2000.com (8.7.5/8.7) with SMTP id NAA11558 for ; Wed, 23 Oct 1996 13:34:51 -0400 (EDT) Date: Wed, 23 Oct 1996 13:34:51 -0400 From: Chris Nee Subject: FLUFF: A newbie... Sender: Star Wars Role Playing Game Discussion Group To: SW-RPG@LISTSERV.AOL.COM Reply-to: keneet@I-2000.COM Message-id: <199610231734.NAA11558@i-2000.com> X-Mailer: AIR Mail 3.X (SPRY, Inc.) Content-transfer-encoding: 7BIT <---- Begin Included Message ----> >From the former episode: Time to call in the big artillery, =94it=92s not just my reputation that i= s in danger, even the mighty Empress with her lithe body is in jeopardy.=94 =94Were is all the veteran spammers when you need them?=94, Wing Commander= Luna thinks <---- End Included Message ----> I thought the Empress was svelte not lithe?! In any event I shall join this FLUFF..... Aspiring Jedi Pel, having watched the previous FLUFF's (in lurker mode) decides he has seen enough of this foolishness He leaps into his (slightly) customized X-Wing, and set's course for Drycas, his thoughts being "If I can get into the system, I can find out how this FLUFF thingy works, and eradicate all traces of it from the Universe" "But wait, If I do that, then.....the SPAM would reign....no no, I can't hve that" "And I also have to stop talking to myself, I don't even have teh cheesy excuse of talking to my R2, because my ship doesn't have one (It's modified!)" "Well I guess my only choice is to go visit Drycas, and meet all the rest of the FLUFFsters......maybe, perhaps, once and for all, we can end the SPAM menace!" Return-path: Received: from listmail.aol.com (listmail.aol.com) by DRYCAS.CLUB.CC.CMU.EDU (PMDF V5.0-5 #7763) id <01IAZQ32ESVEHXIRHF@DRYCAS.CLUB.CC.CMU.EDU> for JAE@DRYCAS.CLUB.CC.CMU.EDU; Wed, 23 Oct 1996 18:27:48 -0400 (EDT) Received: from LISTSERV.AOL.COM by listmail.aol.com (LSMTP for Windows NT v1.0a) with SMTP id C1662E30 ; Wed, 23 Oct 1996 18:26:49 -0400 Received: from LISTSERV.AOL.COM by LISTSERV.AOL.COM (LISTSERV-TCP/IP release 1.8c) with spool id 6002922 for SW-RPG@LISTSERV.AOL.COM; Wed, 23 Oct 1996 18:18:01 -0400 Received: from zephyr.instrumental.com (zephyr.instrumental.com [192.147.252.18]) by listserv.aol.com (8.6.12/8.6.12) with ESMTP id SAA02698 for ; Wed, 23 Oct 1996 18:17:39 -0400 Received: from slip129-37-238-158.mn.us.ibm.net by zephyr.instrumental.com with SMTP (1.39.111.2/16.2) id AA017829637; Wed, 23 Oct 1996 17:27:17 -0500 Date: Wed, 23 Oct 1996 17:27:17 -0500 From: John Rogers Subject: Re: FLUFF: A newbie... Sender: Star Wars Role Playing Game Discussion Group X-Sender: jrr@zephyr.instrumental.com To: SW-RPG@LISTSERV.AOL.COM Reply-to: John Rogers Message-id: <199610232217.SAA02698@listserv.aol.com> MIME-version: 1.0 X-Mailer: Content-type: text/plain; charset="us-ascii" Content-transfer-encoding: 7BIT >"Well I guess my only choice is to go visit Drycas, and meet all the rest of >the FLUFFsters......maybe, perhaps, once and for all, we can end the SPAM >menace!" Alex Dakra opened his eyes. the SPAM had been used....AGAIN! He had never heard the call before...and didn't know what it meant, but he knew he must go to Drycas. With a bloodcurdling scream, he grabbed his blaster, his lightsaber, and charged out of the room.....into the door. No thinking straight, he ignited his lightsaber with a *snaaapphizzzz* and <> the door. Alex ren towards his ship...a battered A-Wing painted raven black. He vaulted into the cockpit with a loud "HeeeYAH!" and powered it up. With the whine of repulsorlifts, Alex launched into space, and then HYPERSPACE to get to Drycas. On the way, he cursed and screamed oudly for no reason. Alex then practiced his martial arts in the cockpit of the A-Wing (NEWBIE FLUFFSTERS can do that ya know) and waited..and watied...and waited...and waited. MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHA ____________________________ John Rogers | Writer/Gamer/Bassist | jrr@zephyr.instrumental.com | ____________________________| "If Yoda so strong in Force he is, then why words in right order he cannot put?" --A VERY powerful Jedi Return-path: Received: from listmail.aol.com (listmail.aol.com) by DRYCAS.CLUB.CC.CMU.EDU (PMDF V5.0-5 #7763) id <01IAZSQ53Q6O90MT0L@DRYCAS.CLUB.CC.CMU.EDU> for JAE@DRYCAS.CLUB.CC.CMU.EDU; Wed, 23 Oct 1996 19:43:40 -0400 (EDT) Received: from LISTSERV.AOL.COM by listmail.aol.com (LSMTP for Windows NT v1.0a) with SMTP id 9648E250 ; Wed, 23 Oct 1996 19:44:21 -0400 Received: from LISTSERV.AOL.COM by LISTSERV.AOL.COM (LISTSERV-TCP/IP release 1.8c) with spool id 6005527 for SW-RPG@LISTSERV.AOL.COM; Wed, 23 Oct 1996 19:35:32 -0400 Received: from service1.cc.uky.edu (service1.uky.edu [128.163.1.168]) by listserv.aol.com (8.6.12/8.6.12) with ESMTP id TAA07609 for ; Wed, 23 Oct 1996 19:35:30 -0400 Received: from ncc.uky.edu ([128.163.17.209]) by service1.cc.uky.edu (8.8.0/8.7.Beta.13) with SMTP id TAA11501 for ; Wed, 23 Oct 1996 19:45:01 -0400 (EDT) Date: Wed, 23 Oct 1996 19:45:02 -0400 From: "Eric Lee Cline, Star Wars Junkie" Subject: FLUFF: A Newbie... Sender: Star Wars Role Playing Game Discussion Group X-Sender: elclin0@pop.uky.edu To: SW-RPG@LISTSERV.AOL.COM Reply-to: "Eric Lee Cline, Star Wars Junkie" Message-id: <2.2.32.19961023234502.0068169c@pop.uky.edu> MIME-version: 1.0 X-Mailer: Windows Eudora Pro Version 2.2 (32) Content-type: text/plain; charset="us-ascii" Content-transfer-encoding: 7BIT Eildath the Dark, Emperor-apparent of the New Imperium, flexed his finely toned muscles as he performed a Sith battle readiness exercise. The foolish newbies, he thought, traveling to a dead planet in search of non-existant knowledge. Since all the other FLUFF postings featured fighters, he hopped into his modified Assault TIE, flying out of New Coruscant's atmosphere. He docked with his Eclipse-class Star Destroyer, waiting in orbit, and set course out of his home, the Darkhold Reach, to Drycas, the Spam-infested ruin of a once mighty Dark Side fortress. Raptor One sealed the lock on his bunker, deep inside a heavily fortified planet. He would not be involved in this fluff, no. He was still recovering from the hangover and thrashing he had received during the previous fluff. The ESD traveled silently through hyperspace... Note: I'm not keeping track of this one. Someone else do it! Eric Lee Cline, Star Wars Junkie (elclin0@pop.uky.edu) "Ernest Hemingway once wrote, 'The world is a fine place, and worth fighting for.' I agree with the second part." - Lieutenant William Somerset (Morgan Freeman), Se7en Return-path: Received: from listmail.aol.com (listmail.aol.com) by DRYCAS.CLUB.CC.CMU.EDU (PMDF V5.0-5 #7763) id <01IAZWW81PA6HXIRHF@DRYCAS.CLUB.CC.CMU.EDU> for JAE@DRYCAS.CLUB.CC.CMU.EDU; Wed, 23 Oct 1996 21:43:06 -0400 (EDT) Received: from LISTSERV.AOL.COM by listmail.aol.com (LSMTP for Windows NT v1.0a) with SMTP id 00B70710 ; Wed, 23 Oct 1996 21:41:52 -0400 Received: from LISTSERV.AOL.COM by LISTSERV.AOL.COM (LISTSERV-TCP/IP release 1.8c) with spool id 6009452 for SW-RPG@LISTSERV.AOL.COM; Wed, 23 Oct 1996 21:33:00 -0400 Received: from emout12.mail.aol.com (emout12.mail.aol.com [152.163.125.38]) by listserv.aol.com (8.6.12/8.6.12) with ESMTP id VAA16056 for ; Wed, 23 Oct 1996 21:32:07 -0400 Received: by emout12.mail.aol.com (8.6.12/8.6.12) id VAA23861 for SW-RPG@listserv.aol.com; Wed, 23 Oct 1996 21:41:40 -0400 Date: Wed, 23 Oct 1996 21:41:40 -0400 From: Klingon Dave Subject: FLUFF: Spam 'n' Stuff Sender: Star Wars Role Playing Game Discussion Group To: SW-RPG@LISTSERV.AOL.COM Reply-to: KlngonDave@AOL.COM Message-id: <961023214050_549997059@emout12.mail.aol.com> Content-transfer-encoding: 7BIT In a message dated 96-10-22 13:07:36 EDT, bear@WLKP.TERNET.PL (Leszek Karlik) writes: > Behind the Warcat's controls, hooded figure smiled grimly. The first > part of his plan was done. Using his new ship - designed by a Verpine > colony held under the thrall of his power in the Dark Side - and > cloaking device from HoloNet Shareware section - he gained acces to > Drycas vaults. Sure, his slicers have already downloaded all the info > from Drycas - but now, he was going to see the famed Drycas > datavaults and he was finally going to confront the Empress. > Les'thalas, master of all aspects of the Force was only hoping that > nobody would call him the dreaded N. word. > He was NOT a newbie! He had spent two weeks reading datalogs stolen > from Drycas Datacore. 14 Megadices of information - and it only took > him two weeks... > > Les'thalas kicked in the sublight drive, and his trusty Warcat > started his descent towards Drycas surface. He had his trusty > lighsaber ready, but he also had a few tricks for the Empress... Dacoma Ruskin snapped off the FLUFF Interceptor (tm) a couple of the kids hand installed a few months ago. "Oh, hell. . ." he muttered. His wife Eithne appeared at the door to the cockpit. "What's wrong?" she enquired. The spacer ran a hand through his graying hair and filled her in on the situation. "Like you know, what little was left in the vaults was cleaned out in that whole Wookie Ale-Questy thing. Officially, anyway." Durric, their oldest, stuck his head in the door. The Stellar Renegade was a small ship. "Officially, Dad? What's left unofficially?" "The Vaults of Spam, son." Ruskin shuddered just thinking about it. "Where do you think it all goes? Every 'Luke's Dark Side Points' argument, every 'KJA Sucks' post, all the Lando and Star Trek bashing, even the Unsubscribe Requests, they're all there. The Empress has kept it all contained since time immemorial. Now it looks like this guy's going to try and release it. Tap its power for himself or something." Eithne looked at her husband worriedly. "You think he can do it?" He snorted. "You kidding? You saw the end of 'Raiders'." Ruskin shook his head. "No, it's too much for any mortal to handle. When all that accumulated Spam's released on the galaxy, it's going to be *mad*. . ." Durric leaned against the wall. "So? Why don't we let Whatshisname the Dark and his buddies handle it? They did okay with the beer thing." Ruskin fished in his jacket pocket and pulled out a folded document, faded and stained with coffee, mustard, and a half a dozen other substances. "*This* is why." His son rolled his eyes. "Oh, *please*, Dad, not again. . ." The Renegade's captain waved it at him. "This is a contract. The GM made us sign it after we killed the bad guys' hostage in that Adar Tallon deal a while back, remember? According to this, we're legally required to be heroic." He turned back to the controls and began setting a course for Drycas. Eithne reached over and touched his shoulder gently. "Dacoma. . ." she said softly. "We're talking about a ravaging horde of pure, unadulterated evil. Do you think we can handle it?" "If Bruce Campbell can do it, we sure can. Anyway, what's to handle?" He swept a hand at the control panel. "We've got a flight profile close to an X-Wing's, and the weapons loadout to deal with anything we're likely to run into." Ruskin jerked a thumb back at the door. "Durric, get Sharra and start warming up the quads. I've got a feeling we'll need them." He depressed a comm button. "Daena, Jaxon, we're going to Drycas. I'm sending the coordinates over now." "Right, Dad." "Got it, Dad." The Z-95 and the Cloakshape belonging to the family's aspiring fighter jocks swung into formation alongside the Ghtroc as the three ships shot off into hyperspace. Rusking leaned back in his seat slowly. "I have a *bad* feeling about this." Return-path: Received: from listmail.aol.com (listmail.aol.com) by DRYCAS.CLUB.CC.CMU.EDU (PMDF V5.0-5 #7763) id <01IAZWVA7Q1W90MT0L@DRYCAS.CLUB.CC.CMU.EDU> for JAE@DRYCAS.CLUB.CC.CMU.EDU; Wed, 23 Oct 1996 21:42:19 -0400 (EDT) Received: from LISTSERV.AOL.COM by listmail.aol.com (LSMTP for Windows NT v1.0a) with SMTP id 2D2478A0 ; Wed, 23 Oct 1996 21:43:06 -0400 Received: from LISTSERV.AOL.COM by LISTSERV.AOL.COM (LISTSERV-TCP/IP release 1.8c) with spool id 6009619 for SW-RPG@LISTSERV.AOL.COM; Wed, 23 Oct 1996 21:34:18 -0400 Received: from river.it.gvsu.edu (river.it.gvsu.edu [148.61.1.16]) by listserv.aol.com (8.6.12/8.6.12) with ESMTP id VAA16614 for ; Wed, 23 Oct 1996 21:34:15 -0400 Received: from localhost by river.it.gvsu.edu with SMTP (1.39.111.2/16.2) id AA239661400; Wed, 23 Oct 1996 21:43:21 -0400 Date: Wed, 23 Oct 1996 21:43:20 -0400 From: Macavity Subject: FLUFF: A Newbie... In-reply-to: <2.2.32.19961023234502.0068169c@pop.uky.edu> Sender: Star Wars Role Playing Game Discussion Group To: SW-RPG@LISTSERV.AOL.COM Reply-to: Macavity Message-id: MIME-version: 1.0 Content-type: TEXT/PLAIN; charset=US-ASCII Content-transfer-encoding: 7BIT Macavity look around "Crud!" he thought "Not only do I not have a fighter, but I wouldn't know how to fly one if I had it!" He looked around, wondering what he was going to do. "Here I am, stuck on this stupid planet called... what's the name again?" Carl looked up from writing the Fluff "It's called Drycas, you stupid twit! Now you've made me do the classic 'Characters-Know-They're-Part-Of- A-Story Schtick! And you made me us a long hyphenated word too!" Macavity smiled "Cool... two for one! Okay, where was I? Right!" Macavity cleared his throat "Here I am, stuck on this stupid planet called Drycas, and everyone else gets to fly in ships! I hate this job..." Will Macavity get a clue and realize that everyone's going to Drycas and he just has to wait? (probably not) Will he serve a plot advancing job, or make cool comercials? (not likely) Will his player log this episode of Fluff for everyone to read when it's all over? (yeah, right. I've got some ocean-front land in Arizona for you...) Admit nothing, deny everything, make counter-accusations "Try to catch your erasing thoughts before they burn up in the sun." "Beige Sunshine" by: The Dead Milkmen http://www2.gvsu.edu/~strayerc Return-path: Received: from listmail.aol.com (listmail.aol.com) by DRYCAS.CLUB.CC.CMU.EDU (PMDF V5.0-5 #7763) id <01IAZX709EA2HXIRHF@DRYCAS.CLUB.CC.CMU.EDU> for JAE@DRYCAS.CLUB.CC.CMU.EDU; Wed, 23 Oct 1996 21:52:03 -0400 (EDT) Received: from LISTSERV.AOL.COM by listmail.aol.com (LSMTP for Windows NT v1.0a) with SMTP id 35FBB230 ; Wed, 23 Oct 1996 21:50:31 -0400 Received: from LISTSERV.AOL.COM by LISTSERV.AOL.COM (LISTSERV-TCP/IP release 1.8c) with spool id 6010118 for SW-RPG@LISTSERV.AOL.COM; Wed, 23 Oct 1996 21:41:41 -0400 Received: from river.it.gvsu.edu (river.it.gvsu.edu [148.61.1.16]) by listserv.aol.com (8.6.12/8.6.12) with ESMTP id VAA17400 for ; Wed, 23 Oct 1996 21:41:40 -0400 Received: from localhost by river.it.gvsu.edu with SMTP (1.39.111.2/16.2) id AA276651842; Wed, 23 Oct 1996 21:50:42 -0400 Date: Wed, 23 Oct 1996 21:50:42 -0400 From: Anya Subject: Re: FLUFF: A Newbie... In-reply-to: Sender: Star Wars Role Playing Game Discussion Group To: SW-RPG@LISTSERV.AOL.COM Reply-to: Anya Message-id: MIME-version: 1.0 Content-type: TEXT/PLAIN; charset=US-ASCII Content-transfer-encoding: 7BIT Comments: To: Macavity Anya looked around and chuckled mischieviously. A FLUFF was going on, and this time she wasn't going to be left out. After all, even Macavity was trying to but in on this one. She couldn't let him go off to face scarey, nasty stuff on his own. She wanted to have fun too! And SOMEONE had to bounce around, eat sugar, and call him Doc. She looked around. Now where to get a ship? That was a problem... but she could always ask Trinan. HEH :). She just hoped she wouldn't get TOO distracted from her mission. Freaks of the World Unite! [Http://www2.gvsu.edu/~ducharmc] (Squib page) Return-path: Received: from listmail.aol.com (listmail.aol.com) by DRYCAS.CLUB.CC.CMU.EDU (PMDF V5.0-5 #7763) id <01IAZY6V8C6EHXIRHF@DRYCAS.CLUB.CC.CMU.EDU> for JAE@DRYCAS.CLUB.CC.CMU.EDU; Wed, 23 Oct 1996 22:19:53 -0400 (EDT) Received: from LISTSERV.AOL.COM by listmail.aol.com (LSMTP for Windows NT v1.0a) with SMTP id 2E861230 ; Wed, 23 Oct 1996 22:18:56 -0400 Received: from LISTSERV.AOL.COM by LISTSERV.AOL.COM (LISTSERV-TCP/IP release 1.8c) with spool id 6011206 for SW-RPG@LISTSERV.AOL.COM; Wed, 23 Oct 1996 22:10:04 -0400 Received: from iu21.cliu.k12.pa.us (iu21.cliu.k12.pa.us [204.186.102.1]) by listserv.aol.com (8.6.12/8.6.12) with ESMTP id WAA19558 for ; Wed, 23 Oct 1996 22:10:02 -0400 Received: from fusion.ptd.net (cs1-13.iro.ptd.net [204.186.7.13]) by iu21.cliu.k12.pa.us (8.6.12/8.6.9) with SMTP id WAA20095 for ; Wed, 23 Oct 1996 22:14:34 -0400 Date: Wed, 23 Oct 1996 22:15:05 -0400 From: Proteus Subject: Re: FLUFF: Spam 'n' Stuff Sender: Star Wars Role Playing Game Discussion Group X-Sender: proteus@mail.prolog.net To: SW-RPG@LISTSERV.AOL.COM Reply-to: Proteus Message-id: <2.2.32.19961024021505.006935f8@mail.prolog.net> MIME-version: 1.0 X-Mailer: Windows Eudora Pro Version 2.2 (32) Content-type: text/plain; charset="us-ascii" Content-transfer-encoding: 7BIT At 09:41 PM 10/23/96 -0400, you wrote: >"The Vaults of Spam, son." Ruskin shuddered just thinking about it. "Where do >you think it all goes? Every 'Luke's Dark Side Points' argument, every 'KJA >Sucks' post, all the Lando and Star Trek bashing, even the Unsubscribe >Requests, they're all there. The Empress has kept it all contained since time >immemorial. Now it looks like this guy's going to try and release it. Tap its >power for himself or something." > >Eithne looked at her husband worriedly. "You think he can do it?" > >He snorted. "You kidding? You saw the end of 'Raiders'." Ruskin shook his >head. "No, it's too much for any mortal to handle. When all that accumulated >Spam's released on the galaxy, it's going to be *mad*. . ." Hovering invisibly five thousand kilometers above the surface of Drycas, the massive ship waited. With cloaking shields up and all electromagnetic spectra warped around the craft, the Sovereign-class destroyer was as blind to the galaxy as it was undetectable. However, subspace relays from dozens of sensor drones were transmitted to the command tower in order to supply much-needed tactical information, and Admiral Blake Ayries studied the reports with cold, calculating efficiency. The *Reaper's Scythe* was poised to defend her Empress at a moment's notice, and currently the entire crew was at battle stations. "No further sightings of the Warcat, sir," came Captain Sashara Iskow's brisk voice. Ayries turned to her, eyes like chips of flint and steel. "They're out there," he said simply, voice low and full of threat. "... sir," Captain Iskow added hesitantly, "request permission to contact the *Death Knell* and *Bloodscream*. We've already lost an Eclipse-class destroyer, and we may need reinforcemen-- " "That will not be necessary." His tone was warning. She was loyal to her admiral, never questioning orders, but... "Sir, I don't know that our shields can handle a direct blast of spam. We're only 15 kilometers long. A single zip.300 post could take out our structural integrity. Perhaps if we summon a few of the Golans and the MCPS dish --*" "I have faith in our defensive capabilities, Captain," he replied calmly. "The Vaults of Drycas shall not fall to any... *Newbie*." Sashara shuddered inwardly at the profanity. "...Yes, sir. Shall I have the turbolaser prepped?" "Unecessary, Captain." "But, Admiral, if we can get reliable tracking data we can use the axial laser without even decloaking." "Unecessary, Captain," he repeated. "If this interloper so desires the Vaults of Spam, then we shall give them to him..." "Sir...! Surely you can't mean --" She swallowed hard. "I do indeed," he growled softly. "Once within range I intend to release the true power of Drycas upon him; the superweapon archives." A wave of nausea threatened to deprive Sashara of her duties, but as a strong Imperial officer she stood her ground. "Yes," Ayries pressed on, "the superweapons. Every last Death Star rehash, every World Devastator that just shut off and was forgotten, all the unbeatable machinations of destruction which just happen to have a convinient weak spot." The captain swallowed hard. "By the Stars... it will be worse than the Goliath episodes of 'Knight Rider'..." "Yes!" hissed Ayries. "All the bad ideas will coallesce into one enormous plot-hole vortex, a warping of decent story telling and the very fabric of Lucas' Basic Universal Principals! Every luckily-placed thermal vent, every secret Emperor-only command code, every mass of Sun-Crusher-crushing black holes, every Darksaber-smashing asteroid will combine to tear apart the very fabric of the Star Wars Universe, sucking our prey down into a maelstrom of noncannon destruction." His fist tightened. "And we won't stop there. We shall tear apart every last bit of credibility in his area of space; The destruction of Byss by a one-in-a-million shot! The undeniable way that Stackpole tries to make himself Corran Horn! The fact that the Sii-Ruuk were a rip-off of the Kzin! The relationship of the movies with 'Ronan Warrios' and 'The Mote in God's Eye'! And then... then we shall bring out the Stupidity Archives...!" Captain Iskow stepped back, speechless. Was the Admiral mad...?! "We shall release... Waru!" Sashara gaped. "The White Current!" Her eyes widened. "Centerpoint Station!" "But sir -- !" "The Kaiburr Crystal!" "We can't survive that kind of firepower -- " "And then we shall unviel the GALAXY GUN!" The deck beneath their feet rumbled and the accelerations compenstators strained to keep them steady. The mere *mention* of such plot-destroying devices, the horror of the continuity destructions those things could reap... the mention alone was enough to disrupt the space-time around *Reaper's Scythe*. "Oh, yes indeed, Captain," whispered Ayries sinisterly. "Drycas is well prepared to defend its Empress..." *Proteus proteus@ptdprolog.net or stoutjb@iu21.cliu.k12.pa.us "When somebody asks you if you're a god, you say YES!" Return-path: Received: from listmail.aol.com (listmail.aol.com) by DRYCAS.CLUB.CC.CMU.EDU (PMDF V5.0-5 #7763) id <01IAZZLUYYLSHXIRHF@DRYCAS.CLUB.CC.CMU.EDU> for JAE@DRYCAS.CLUB.CC.CMU.EDU; Wed, 23 Oct 1996 23:01:03 -0400 (EDT) Received: from LISTSERV.AOL.COM by listmail.aol.com (LSMTP for Windows NT v1.0a) with SMTP id EC49A490 ; Wed, 23 Oct 1996 22:52:52 -0400 Received: from LISTSERV.AOL.COM by LISTSERV.AOL.COM (LISTSERV-TCP/IP release 1.8c) with spool id 6012710 for SW-RPG@LISTSERV.AOL.COM; Wed, 23 Oct 1996 22:44:00 -0400 Received: from server.sid.cquest.utoronto.ca (server.sid.cquest.utoronto.ca [192.82.128.1]) by listserv.aol.com (8.6.12/8.6.12) with SMTP id WAA24202 for ; Wed, 23 Oct 1996 22:43:34 -0400 Received: from localhost by server.sid.cquest.utoronto.ca with SMTP id <4373>; Wed, 23 Oct 1996 22:52:11 -0400 Date: Wed, 23 Oct 1996 22:52:03 -0400 From: MICHAEL SCHLOSS Subject: Re: FLUFF: A Newbie... In-reply-to: <2.2.32.19961023234502.0068169c@pop.uky.edu> Sender: Star Wars Role Playing Game Discussion Group To: SW-RPG@LISTSERV.AOL.COM Reply-to: MICHAEL SCHLOSS Message-id: MIME-version: 1.0 Content-type: TEXT/PLAIN; charset=US-ASCII Content-transfer-encoding: 7BIT Comments: To: "Eric Lee Cline, Star Wars Junkie" The correlian smuggler Chewsmacka cursed and hit the dashboard of his modified YT-1300 transport, the Porkchop Express. Not only was Spam once again loose in the galaxy, but the tapedeck ate his favourite album. He called out to his faithful wookke co-pilot, Lon Bolo. "WRAWRRRRRRR" There was a sudden thump from the back of the ship, followed by an enraged scream of "What is it now?" Lon, seven feet of rippling muscle and fur, strode up to the cockpit. "Oh. That damn tapedeck has eaten your Abba tape, again, has it?" "Wraarr" the correlian smuggler moaned pitifully. "Well, just sit tight and we'll get you a new one when we get to the Stereo system. I hear they have great prices on Holo-Cassette player.... ... AAAAAAGH!" Lon Bolo fell back against the wall, crushing Chewsmacka's collection of Kinder Prizes. "I sense a great disturbance in the Force! A great evil has just been re-released upon the galaxy!" "Whraaar?" asked Chewsmacka, confusedly. "What do you mean, 'how can I sense the force?' you hairless ape? This is a FLUFF, and every person in the fluff so far is force sensitive, so why can't I be?" The huge wookie sat down. "As I was saying, we have to get to the Drycas system! We're its only hope!" Return-path: Received: from listmail.aol.com (listmail.aol.com) by DRYCAS.CLUB.CC.CMU.EDU (PMDF V5.0-5 #7763) id <01IB00NVCISGHXIRHF@DRYCAS.CLUB.CC.CMU.EDU> for JAE@DRYCAS.CLUB.CC.CMU.EDU; Wed, 23 Oct 1996 23:30:52 -0400 (EDT) Received: from LISTSERV.AOL.COM by listmail.aol.com (LSMTP for Windows NT v1.0a) with SMTP id 18ED4F10 ; Wed, 23 Oct 1996 23:29:55 -0400 Received: from LISTSERV.AOL.COM by LISTSERV.AOL.COM (LISTSERV-TCP/IP release 1.8c) with spool id 6016413 for SW-RPG@LISTSERV.AOL.COM; Wed, 23 Oct 1996 23:21:07 -0400 Received: from gold.muskoka.com (gold.muskoka.com [207.112.10.5]) by listserv.aol.com (8.6.12/8.6.12) with ESMTP id WAA22840 for ; Wed, 23 Oct 1996 22:38:33 -0400 Received: from emerald.muskoka.com (emerald.muskoka.com [207.112.10.104]) by gold.muskoka.com (8.6.12/8.6.9) with SMTP id WAA00822 for ; Wed, 23 Oct 1996 22:57:22 -0400 Date: Wed, 23 Oct 1996 22:52:47 +0000 From: Joe Coleman Subject: Re: FLUFF: Spam 'n' Stuff Sender: Star Wars Role Playing Game Discussion Group To: SW-RPG@LISTSERV.AOL.COM Reply-to: Joe Coleman Message-id: <199610240257.WAA00822@gold.muskoka.com> Organization: Granite Dragon X-Mailer: Pegasus Mail for Win32 (v2.42) Content-transfer-encoding: 7BIT Priority: normal Comments: Authenticated sender is Sometime near 22:15, 23 Oct 96, Proteus wrote: > "We shall release... Waru!" > Sashara gaped. > "The White Current!" > Her eyes widened. > "Centerpoint Station!" > "But sir -- !" > "The Kaiburr Crystal!" > "We can't survive that kind of firepower -- " > "And then we shall unviel the GALAXY GUN!" > The deck beneath their feet rumbled and the accelerations > compenstators strained to keep them steady. The mere *mention* of such > plot-destroying devices, the horror of the continuity destructions those > things could reap... the mention alone was enough to disrupt the space-time > around *Reaper's Scythe*. > "Oh, yes indeed, Captain," whispered Ayries sinisterly. "Drycas is > well prepared to defend its Empress..." > A bright red light started flashing on the dash of Doyaa's overly modified, semi-operational freighter. Then it started to emit a wail of sheer terror in response to the cosmic effect of the mentioned names that were causing everything to react -- even Doyaa, with his rudimentary force-sensitivity had to sit down, slightly nauseous. Regaining control of his stomach, Doyaa flipped the switch (read: gave a good whack to) of the Cutaway Monitor (replay of above scene :). "Fark! I've gotta see these things! Such impossibilities cannot be possible (although, I did hear mention of KJA). Curiousity killed the, er, well nevermind, but I'm going to see!" With that said Doyaa punched the controls to take him to that Drycas place. As Doyaa's retrofitted freighter, _Oops_, jumped to lightspeed Doyaa could be heard mumbling about the possible ways to irrevocably erase every badly acted, monty-haulish episode of Knight Rider before any of it's spammy plots could be fluffed. --- Joe Coleman Muskoka.com Support Crew, Linux Guy, and local Unix nut Return-path: Received: from listmail.aol.com (listmail.aol.com) by DRYCAS.CLUB.CC.CMU.EDU (PMDF V5.0-5 #7763) id <01IB06FK37RYHXIRHF@DRYCAS.CLUB.CC.CMU.EDU> for JAE@DRYCAS.CLUB.CC.CMU.EDU; Thu, 24 Oct 1996 02:15:57 -0400 (EDT) Received: from LISTSERV.AOL.COM by listmail.aol.com (LSMTP for Windows NT v1.0a) with SMTP id 2041B730 ; Thu, 24 Oct 1996 02:14:46 -0400 Received: from LISTSERV.AOL.COM by LISTSERV.AOL.COM (LISTSERV-TCP/IP release 1.8c) with spool id 6022660 for SW-RPG@LISTSERV.AOL.COM; Thu, 24 Oct 1996 02:05:54 -0400 Received: from bunyip.cc.uq.oz.au (bunyip.cc.uq.oz.au [130.102.2.1]) by listserv.aol.com (8.6.12/8.6.12) with ESMTP id CAA13957 for ; Thu, 24 Oct 1996 02:05:50 -0400 Received: from byss (s340809.slip.cc.uq.oz.au [130.102.105.247]) by bunyip.cc.uq.oz.au (8.7.6/8.7.3) with SMTP id QAA09820 for ; Thu, 24 Oct 1996 16:15:16 +1000 Date: Thu, 24 Oct 1996 16:19:12 -0700 From: James A Subject: Re: FLUFF: A Newbie... Sender: Star Wars Role Playing Game Discussion Group X-Sender: zzkmarti@dingo.cc.uq.edu.au To: SW-RPG@LISTSERV.AOL.COM Reply-to: James A Message-id: <1.5.4.32.19961024231912.0067646c@dingo.cc.uq.edu.au> MIME-version: 1.0 X-Mailer: Windows Eudora Light Version 1.5.4 (32) Content-type: text/plain; charset="us-ascii" Content-transfer-encoding: 7BIT "CRUNCH CRUNCH CRUNCH" Rogrog the Gamorrean was busy muching his way through his fifteenth white crunchy thing, when suddenly his nostrils twitched. What was that smell that drifted across his nostrils? It was familar..... Why could he hear vikings faintly singing in the background?. "Clunk" The penny dropped as a huge smile errupted accross his drool smeared face. "Spam...MMMmmmmm...Rogrog likes spam" Standing, he began to trot away from the smoking remains of the A9 floating fortress. With his stumpy legs rapidly becomming a blur, he streaked away, heading towards the scent that played across his nostrils. Faster and faster he began to draw away from the surface of this planet. Space? A lack of oxygen? Countless lightyears to travel? To a small minded gamorrean these were things that mattered little. Rogrog had caught the scent of spam plus he was hungry. Heaven help anything that got between this little green chap and his appetite... James A +-------------------------------------------------------+ |James A Martin | |S340809@student.uq.edu.au | |K.Martin@mailbox.uq.edu.au | |http://student.uq.edu.au/~s340809 | |Star Wars Freak, Phantom Phan, Babylon 5 Addict | +-------------------------------------------------------+ | "Perhaps you think you are being treated unfairly?" | +-------------------------------------------------------+ Return-path: Received: from listmail.aol.com (listmail.aol.com) by DRYCAS.CLUB.CC.CMU.EDU (PMDF V5.0-5 #7763) id <01IB07V393TIHXIRHF@DRYCAS.CLUB.CC.CMU.EDU> for JAE@DRYCAS.CLUB.CC.CMU.EDU; Thu, 24 Oct 1996 02:57:29 -0400 (EDT) Received: from LISTSERV.AOL.COM by listmail.aol.com (LSMTP for Windows NT v1.0a) with SMTP id EE034300 ; Thu, 24 Oct 1996 02:56:18 -0400 Received: from LISTSERV.AOL.COM by LISTSERV.AOL.COM (LISTSERV-TCP/IP release 1.8c) with spool id 6023515 for SW-RPG@LISTSERV.AOL.COM; Thu, 24 Oct 1996 02:47:30 -0400 Received: from x3.boston.juno.com (x3.boston.juno.com [205.231.100.22]) by listserv.aol.com (8.6.12/8.6.12) with ESMTP id CAA16462 for ; Thu, 24 Oct 1996 02:47:29 -0400 Received: (from trench@juno.com) by x3.boston.juno.com (queuemail) id CAA28196; Thu, 24 Oct 1996 02:19:23 -0400 (EDT) Date: Wed, 23 Oct 1996 23:25:51 -0800 (PST) From: MSTR Trench Subject: Re: FLUFF: Spam 'n' Stuff Sender: Star Wars Role Playing Game Discussion Group To: SW-RPG@LISTSERV.AOL.COM Reply-to: MSTR Trench Message-id: <19961023.232555.16774.2.trench@juno.com> X-Mailer: Juno 1.00 Content-transfer-encoding: 7BIT X-Juno-Line-Breaks: 4-5,8,13,15,18-19,23-24,27-28,33-35 References: <2.2.32.19961024021505.006935f8@mail.prolog.net> Kaal Ironfist stared grimly at his TIE Advanced while slipping on his flight gloves. "It's a shame, I know," he muttered to his second son Kett. "But too many people are getting involved in this for me not to go." He pressed a few buttons on his cyborg implant control pad, and slipped on his flight jacket. "Trust me, kid, I'll be back." The 10-year-old looked on dubiously. "You're going to leave like this?" "I was considering it," Ironfist said dryly. "Why don't you get your mother. She'll be lonesome." He was working with his hyperdrive motivator. "Get Exar too." He was in a dismal mood. Once again, some fool had the audacity to challenge the might of SPAM. Surely, it was evil, but the fool who went up against it would be flooded with templates forever. Even the mighty Luke Skywalker had succumbed to the might of SPAM. (Now we know why he was such a wuss.) "You're not serious." He saw the pleading face of his wife Lhana to his left. "Lhana, this man wants to challenge the SPAM. I'm not going to sit here and wait. Besides, I could use a list of implants." He turned his attention back to the motivator. "I saw you lose one arm; I don't want you to lose the other. It's-" He cut her off with a brisk kiss on the lips. "I'll be okay, Lhana, don't worry." He waved to his son Exar who had just entered the room. "Take care of them." His sly wink was the last they saw before the quadanium panels of the TIE left the hangar. He scarcely had time to finish reading "The Guide to SPAM Fighting" before his TIE popped out of hyperspace. "I ain't gonna miss the party," he yelled over his comlink. "Now where's Spamboy?" As if to answer his question, globs of SPAM smacked into his HUD. "The fool!! He's opened them!!" Almost conceding defeat, he viciously eyed the Axial Superlaser on top of the nearby SSSD. It was getting worse. The "SPAM Collector's CD" and "SPAM In Utero" flew by. "I've got a bad feeling about this..." (Stats for Kaal Ironfist coming soon) Return-path: Received: from listmail.aol.com (listmail.aol.com) by DRYCAS.CLUB.CC.CMU.EDU (PMDF V5.0-5 #7763) id <01IB081NIDXAHXIRHF@DRYCAS.CLUB.CC.CMU.EDU> for JAE@DRYCAS.CLUB.CC.CMU.EDU; Thu, 24 Oct 1996 03:02:01 -0400 (EDT) Received: from LISTSERV.AOL.COM by listmail.aol.com (LSMTP for Windows NT v1.0a) with SMTP id 985CE180 ; Thu, 24 Oct 1996 03:01:04 -0400 Received: from LISTSERV.AOL.COM by LISTSERV.AOL.COM (LISTSERV-TCP/IP release 1.8c) with spool id 6023615 for SW-RPG@LISTSERV.AOL.COM; Thu, 24 Oct 1996 02:52:15 -0400 Received: from i-2000.com (i-2000.com [204.97.92.2]) by listserv.aol.com (8.6.12/8.6.12) with ESMTP id CAA16683 for ; Thu, 24 Oct 1996 02:52:15 -0400 Received: from 207.97.139.75 (dyn10.access1.babylon.i-2000.net [207.97.139.75]) by i-2000.com (8.7.6/8.7) with SMTP id DAA19768 for ; Thu, 24 Oct 1996 03:01:48 -0400 (EDT) Date: Thu, 24 Oct 1996 03:01:48 -0400 From: Chris Nee Subject: FLUFF: A Newbie... Sender: Star Wars Role Playing Game Discussion Group To: SW-RPG@LISTSERV.AOL.COM Reply-to: keneet@I-2000.COM Message-id: <199610240701.DAA19768@i-2000.com> X-Mailer: AIR Mail 3.X (SPRY, Inc.) Content-transfer-encoding: 7BIT <---- Begin Included Message ----> "Spam...MMMmmmmm...Rogrog likes spam" Standing, he began to trot away from the smoking remains of the A9 floating fortress. With his stumpy legs rapidly becomming a blur, he streaked away, heading towards the scent that played across his nostrils. Faster and faster he began to draw away from the surface of this planet. Space? A lack of oxygen? Countless lightyears to travel? To a small minded gamorrean these were things that mattered little. Rogrog had caught the scent of spam plus he was hungry. Heaven help anything that got between this little green chap and his appetite... <---- End Included Message ----> As Aspiring Jedi Pel streaks towards Drycas, he continues to monitor his FLUFF scanner, "Ah now we have done it, we have dredged up all the old Fluffs, we have already used every old fluff trick.. we have brought up all the assorted evils on the List (even crossovers!), what ever shall I do, to make this FLUFF different?" "I know, I shall not actually add anything, knowing that sooner or later the action will come to me, it has to I haven't done anything of importance yet, so I'll just make my way to Drycas (we have to go to Drycas of course) and see what happens!" As he finishes this thought (thoughtfully spoken aloud so that all can hear) the writer responsible for this part of the FLUFF is sacked. The rest of this portion of the FLUFF will be done by someone else Thank you, I will be continuing this portion of the FLUFF, starting with a recap of all that has happened since.... We are sorry, this writer has also been sacked, and as we are unable to think of a good reason to continue, we shall instead return you to your regular FLUFFsters.... Return-path: Received: from listmail.aol.com (listmail.aol.com) by DRYCAS.CLUB.CC.CMU.EDU (PMDF V5.0-5 #7763) id <01IB0HQAOZEI8WVYJU@DRYCAS.CLUB.CC.CMU.EDU> for JAE@DRYCAS.CLUB.CC.CMU.EDU; Thu, 24 Oct 1996 07:39:58 -0400 (EDT) Received: from LISTSERV.AOL.COM by listmail.aol.com (LSMTP for Windows NT v1.0a) with SMTP id 6D636090 ; Thu, 24 Oct 1996 07:39:02 -0400 Received: from LISTSERV.AOL.COM by LISTSERV.AOL.COM (LISTSERV-TCP/IP release 1.8c) with spool id 6025846 for SW-RPG@LISTSERV.AOL.COM; Thu, 24 Oct 1996 07:30:12 -0400 Received: from emout20.mail.aol.com (emout20.mail.aol.com [152.163.125.46]) by listserv.aol.com (8.6.12/8.6.12) with ESMTP id HAA21303 for ; Thu, 24 Oct 1996 07:30:11 -0400 Received: by emout20.mail.aol.com (8.6.12/8.6.12) id HAA01793 for SW-RPG@listserv.aol.com; Thu, 24 Oct 1996 07:39:49 -0400 Date: Thu, 24 Oct 1996 07:39:49 -0400 From: Jedi Iles Subject: Re: FLUFF: A Newbie Sender: Star Wars Role Playing Game Discussion Group To: SW-RPG@LISTSERV.AOL.COM Reply-to: JediIles@AOL.COM Message-id: <961024073949_1481332371@emout20.mail.aol.com> Content-transfer-encoding: 7BIT "Drycas...even a newbie should know better than to go to Drycas! The Dark Zima probably hasn't even dried up yet, and now he's going after the Empress, and release all the SPAMmy files of the vaults...I shouldn't get involved, but as a Jedi Master and FLUFFer, I must." Jedi Master Iles sprints (though not quite as fast as fellow FLUFFster Luna) to his modified Armageddon Class TIE fighter, powered up, and headed to the Drycas system, and, as he entered hyperspace, couldn't help but to wonder if he should have added a SPAM torpedo launcher before he left, and perhaps he should use less commas, at least, when typing... Jedi Master Iles "FLUFFsters! Rally bout me to save the Galaxy from the SPAM!" Return-path: Received: from listmail.aol.com (listmail.aol.com) by DRYCAS.CLUB.CC.CMU.EDU (PMDF V5.0-5 #7763) id <01IB0MNTC4IGHXIRHF@DRYCAS.CLUB.CC.CMU.EDU> for JAE@DRYCAS.CLUB.CC.CMU.EDU; Thu, 24 Oct 1996 10:00:44 -0400 (EDT) Received: from LISTSERV.AOL.COM by listmail.aol.com (LSMTP for Windows NT v1.0a) with SMTP id 1746EA10 ; Thu, 24 Oct 1996 09:59:48 -0400 Received: from LISTSERV.AOL.COM by LISTSERV.AOL.COM (LISTSERV-TCP/IP release 1.8c) with spool id 6012334 for SW-RPG@LISTSERV.AOL.COM; Thu, 24 Oct 1996 09:50:58 -0400 Received: from service1.cc.uky.edu (service1.uky.edu [128.163.1.168]) by listserv.aol.com (8.6.12/8.6.12) with ESMTP id JAA28253 for ; Thu, 24 Oct 1996 09:50:57 -0400 Received: from ncc.uky.edu ([128.163.17.200]) by service1.cc.uky.edu (8.8.0/8.7.Beta.13) with SMTP id KAA18980 for ; Thu, 24 Oct 1996 10:00:22 -0400 (EDT) Date: Thu, 24 Oct 1996 10:00:13 -0400 From: "Eric Lee Cline, Star Wars Junkie" Subject: FLUFF: A Newbie Sender: Star Wars Role Playing Game Discussion Group X-Sender: elclin0@pop.uky.edu To: SW-RPG@LISTSERV.AOL.COM Reply-to: "Eric Lee Cline, Star Wars Junkie" Message-id: <2.2.32.19961024140013.00695b18@pop.uky.edu> MIME-version: 1.0 X-Mailer: Windows Eudora Pro Version 2.2 (32) Content-type: text/plain; charset="us-ascii" Content-transfer-encoding: 7BIT The New Imperium Eclipse-class Star Destroyer dropped out of hyperspace on the far side of a planet called Drycas. Drycas... once a mighty throneworld to a vastly powerful Empress, whose skill even Eildath was awed by, now a smoking rubble heap, infested by Spam, Zima, and Sith Homers. Eildath had no wish to return, but he must. The accursed newbies were going to corrupt the universe by opening the vaults of Drycas: a place so awful that even Eildath, emperor-apparent and reigning Dark Lord of the Sith, feared. Eildath paced the bridge of his flagship, resplendent in his enhanced reflec battle armor and flowing Defel-skin cloak, the medallion that marked his heritige the only point of light on his shadowy person. He strode up to his first officer, Admiral Qel-Droma #0000 (a descendant of Ulic, Jedi Knight, and the template officer for Eildath's cloning facilities) "Qel-Droma, report." "All ship functions at optimum levels. Comscan has detected several ships in the vicinity, including a gravitic disturbance that could indicate a cloaked Destroyer, possibly Sovereign-class. The fortress is nearing its winter period, and the Sith Homers have begun hibernation. Spam and Zima levels have fallen to "Fucking Dangerous" levels on the surface. Zima infestation in orbit is minimal, but there are several schools of stellar Spam out here." Level 1: Critical - Spam now constitutes 90+% of the planet's mass. Level 2: Saturated - The case on many worlds. The Spam is knee deep in most places. Level 3: Deadly - The Spam is out in large packs, hunting other creatures. Level 4: Fucking Dangerous - The Spam is relatively sedentary, only attacking if approached. Be thankful, for it doesn't get any better than this. "Admiral, charge the axial superlaser, raise the Python shields, and put the ship on red alert. I'm going down there." "But sir!" "These newbies must be stopped. Whatever the cost, I will end it. If I'm not back in 25 hours, destroy the vaults." "But, sir, you'll be killed!" "That's an order!" "Yes, sir." Eildath boarded his Assault TIE, heading towards the planet below... Eric Lee Cline, Star Wars Junkie (elclin0@pop.uky.edu) "Ernest Hemingway once wrote, 'The world is a fine place, and worth fighting for.' I agree with the second part." - Lieutenant William Somerset (Morgan Freeman), Se7en Return-path: Received: from listmail.aol.com (listmail.aol.com) by DRYCAS.CLUB.CC.CMU.EDU (PMDF V5.0-5 #7763) id <01IB0ON1SQ2WHXIRHF@DRYCAS.CLUB.CC.CMU.EDU> for JAE@DRYCAS.CLUB.CC.CMU.EDU; Thu, 24 Oct 1996 10:57:23 -0400 (EDT) Received: from LISTSERV.AOL.COM by listmail.aol.com (LSMTP for Windows NT v1.0a) with SMTP id 0148E760 ; Thu, 24 Oct 1996 10:56:27 -0400 Received: from LISTSERV.AOL.COM by LISTSERV.AOL.COM (LISTSERV-TCP/IP release 1.8c) with spool id 6014336 for SW-RPG@LISTSERV.AOL.COM; Thu, 24 Oct 1996 10:47:36 -0400 Received: from river.it.gvsu.edu (river.it.gvsu.edu [148.61.1.16]) by listserv.aol.com (8.6.12/8.6.12) with ESMTP id KAA02524 for ; Thu, 24 Oct 1996 10:47:31 -0400 Received: from localhost by river.it.gvsu.edu with SMTP (1.39.111.2/16.2) id AA004599000; Thu, 24 Oct 1996 10:56:40 -0400 Date: Thu, 24 Oct 1996 10:56:40 -0400 From: Macavity Subject: FLUFF: A Newbie In-reply-to: <2.2.32.19961024140013.00695b18@pop.uky.edu> Sender: Star Wars Role Playing Game Discussion Group To: SW-RPG@LISTSERV.AOL.COM Reply-to: Macavity Message-id: MIME-version: 1.0 Content-type: TEXT/PLAIN; charset=US-ASCII Content-transfer-encoding: 7BIT Macavity looked around seeing large patches of greyish-browish substances that reminded him that he should replace the grout in his shower. "I should re-cauk that shower... this glop might do the trick..." Macavity in his usual apathetic way decided that doing shower work was not what he wanted to do. He wanted to be a lumberjack... "No! They did that last FLUFF Mac! Do something else!" Macavity in his usual apathetic way decided that doing shower work was not what he wanted to do. He wanted to find a plot... "Good start, but FLUFF usually looks for a plot..." "Hey!" Macavity was getting upset at his player "Let me do my thing. You just sit there and don't botch on wild die rolls!" Macavity mucked about, looking for a purpose, while giant cans of SPAM, Sith Homers, Zima and other nasty things fell from the sky, errupted from the ground, and danced jigs... unfortunately all this happened when Macavity wasn't looking. So he carried on his journey unaware of the danger that awaited him, where ever the Evil Plot-Daemon lived... Admit nothing, deny everything, make counter-accusations "Try to catch your erasing thoughts before they burn up in the sun." "Beige Sunshine" by: The Dead Milkmen http://www2.gvsu.edu/~strayerc Return-path: Received: from listmail.aol.com (listmail.aol.com) by DRYCAS.CLUB.CC.CMU.EDU (PMDF V5.0-5 #7763) id <01IB0QHBGAMI90MT0L@DRYCAS.CLUB.CC.CMU.EDU> for JAE@DRYCAS.CLUB.CC.CMU.EDU; Thu, 24 Oct 1996 11:50:06 -0400 (EDT) Received: from LISTSERV.AOL.COM by listmail.aol.com (LSMTP for Windows NT v1.0a) with SMTP id 18BBB950 ; Thu, 24 Oct 1996 11:25:44 -0400 Received: from LISTSERV.AOL.COM by LISTSERV.AOL.COM (LISTSERV-TCP/IP release 1.8c) with spool id 6015079 for SW-RPG@LISTSERV.AOL.COM; Thu, 24 Oct 1996 11:16:53 -0400 Received: from bunyip.cc.uq.oz.au (bunyip.cc.uq.oz.au [130.102.2.1]) by listserv.aol.com (8.6.12/8.6.12) with ESMTP id LAA04261 for ; Thu, 24 Oct 1996 11:16:49 -0400 Received: from byss (zzkmarti.slip.cc.uq.oz.au [130.102.86.60]) by bunyip.cc.uq.oz.au (8.7.6/8.7.3) with SMTP id BAA08883 for ; Fri, 25 Oct 1996 01:26:23 +1000 Date: Fri, 25 Oct 1996 01:30:19 -0700 From: James A Subject: Re: FLUFF: A Newbie Sender: Star Wars Role Playing Game Discussion Group X-Sender: zzkmarti@dingo.cc.uq.edu.au To: SW-RPG@LISTSERV.AOL.COM Reply-to: James A Message-id: <1.5.4.32.19961025083019.00693934@dingo.cc.uq.edu.au> MIME-version: 1.0 X-Mailer: Windows Eudora Light Version 1.5.4 (32) Content-type: text/plain; charset="us-ascii" Content-transfer-encoding: 7BIT SSSSSPPPPPPAAAAAMMMMMMM SSSSSPPPPPAAAAAMMMMMM SSSSSPPPPPPAAAAAMMMMM It called to Rogrog, summoning him with greater and greater urgency. Streaking like a bullet now (which, considering the build of a gamorrean looks mighty strange), Rogrog surged through the dimension of L-space, moving closer and closer to his destination. The call of the spam was now so great that he could almost detect nothing else. But there on the edge of his ollifactory range, tugged something; something he'd never come across before, but at the same time was something he recognised. Summoning all his intellectual might (a task taking all of a nanosecond) Rogrog concentrated, straining to summon forth this memory. Slowly it began to form in his mind. Z.............I.............M...............................................A! Zima? What was that. Reaching to his trusty utility belt, Rogrog selected volume MCXLVII of his Galactic Guide to Cuisine. Scanning through the index, he located the entry he was earching for. "ZIMA : a substance occuring in only certain areas of the galaxy, usually at the site of recent FLUFF outbreaks. Highly deadly, but highly delicious. Serving Suggestions : Medium-rare in a smooth white-wine sause. The perfect complement to any main course of SPAM." "Zima plus Spam, yum yum" Rogrog exclaimed. It looked like he was going to have a fine meal for dinner. He could only see one problem arising though. Where in this neck of the Galaxy was he going to find a good bottle-shop????? James A +-------------------------------------------------------+ |James A Martin | |S340809@student.uq.edu.au | |K.Martin@mailbox.uq.edu.au | |http://student.uq.edu.au/~s340809 | |Star Wars Freak, Phantom Phan, Babylon 5 Addict | +-------------------------------------------------------+ | "Perhaps you think you are being treated unfairly?" | +-------------------------------------------------------+ Return-path: Received: from listmail.aol.com (listmail.aol.com) by DRYCAS.CLUB.CC.CMU.EDU (PMDF V5.0-5 #7763) id <01IB0R8RSY6CHXIRHF@DRYCAS.CLUB.CC.CMU.EDU> for JAE@DRYCAS.CLUB.CC.CMU.EDU; Thu, 24 Oct 1996 12:12:10 -0400 (EDT) Received: from LISTSERV.AOL.COM by listmail.aol.com (LSMTP for Windows NT v1.0a) with SMTP id 6ED0DE00 ; Thu, 24 Oct 1996 12:11:06 -0400 Received: from LISTSERV.AOL.COM by LISTSERV.AOL.COM (LISTSERV-TCP/IP release 1.8c) with spool id 6016431 for SW-RPG@LISTSERV.AOL.COM; Thu, 24 Oct 1996 12:02:14 -0400 Received: from its.wlkp.ternet.pl ([195.116.11.2]) by listserv.aol.com (8.6.12/8.6.12) with ESMTP id MAA07191 for ; Thu, 24 Oct 1996 12:02:05 -0400 Received: from mod1.wlkp.ternet.pl (mod1 [195.116.11.11]) by its.wlkp.ternet.pl (8.6.12/8.6.9) with SMTP id SAA29631 for ; Thu, 24 Oct 1996 18:11:25 +0200 Date: Sat, 26 Oct 1996 18:28:03 +0000 From: "Mike (Leszek Karlik)" Subject: FLUFF: Newbies. (Coming soon: Newbies III !) Sender: Star Wars Role Playing Game Discussion Group To: SW-RPG@LISTSERV.AOL.COM Reply-to: "Mike (Leszek Karlik)" Message-id: <199610241611.SAA29631@its.wlkp.ternet.pl> X-Mailer: Pegasus Mail for Windows (v2.23) Content-transfer-encoding: 7BIT Priority: normal Comments: Authenticated sender is Newbie - the eight passenger of Death Star is dead. But there are other Newbies. Will Ripley Palpatine, daughter of... whoops... Sigh. Wrong storyline - again. Les'thalas, the New Lord of Sith, master of Dark, Light and Prismatic aspects of the Force grinned evilly (as usually). His Warcat was ready to descend upon unsuspecting Drycas, and... Wait. He had forgot sense around. He has trusted his sensors. But he would fix it. He closed his eyes and opened to the flow of the Force. Slowly expanding the bubble of extra-sensory perception, he had noticed something. It was either 601,670 invisible crewman, 4,075 invisible gunners and 130,100 invisible troops on the orbit, or a cloaked Sovereign-class Star Destroyer. He started to think... After half an hour, he diecided against the first idea. But he was not sure. He booted up his trusty Pentium (TM) Datapad Deluxe and started probability analisis program. Well, the case was solved. It was Sovereign. His datapad was always wrong. He slowly opened his senses to the Force. This time he will forsee the possible course of events... AARRRRGGGGHHHHHH! Flood of terrible images flooded his mind! He saw countles fluffsters coming to Drycas. "Aaah! What have I done! I should have known that somebody will join this Fluff! I should have quickly posted next episode and confront the Empress. But noooo... I had to think about some more cool ideas... WHY? Why was I so stupid? I could serve as an example in a Pentium (TM) commerc..." An evil idea sneaked into the mind of Les'thalas. "Hmm... I can rig my transmission system to override main HoloNet server and activate all receivers at once... I will only have to throw out my HoloNet receiver. And all flufsters will be delayed long enough for me to reach Drycas surface..." - he tought. After two hours Les'thalas left Warcats workshop. "Done" - he said to himself - "but first, I'll have to contact somebody." He pulled out funny looking Sabacc card. The card represented a man, "... tall and dour, thin; thin of face, wide of mind. He wore orange and yellow and brown... (...) He had a long, strong jaw and hazel eyes and brown hair that never curled. He stood beside a tan horse and leaned upon a lance about which was twined a rope of flowers. He seldom laughed." Les'thalas touched it, concentrated, and said seemingly to nobody... "Benedict, it's me - lieutnant Les'thalas from Andorra campaign. I have a small tactical problem for you to solve..." In the same moment, all HoloNet receivers turned on. Aboard the Sovereign SD "Reaper's Scythe" Admiral Blake Ayries gasped in shock and horror... Aboard the Porkchop Express Chewsmacka almost lost consciousness and Lon Bolo almost lashed out and destroyed receiver (but he recalled himself that in this Fluff he is Force-Sensitive and wanted to keep a margin of error for DSP's). Aboard Ghtroc, Z-95 and Cloakshape of Ruskin family Eithne tried in vain to shield her chilren from the horror that appeared on their HoloNet receiver. Eildath the Dark instanly entered Hibernation Trance, and Raptor One, who was watching Galactic HoloNews almost (almost) spilled his cure for hangover (i.e. some Gammorean Whisky). Kaal Ironfist stared in disbelief at the HUD of his TIE Advanced (he even ignored tactical SPAM mines deployed here by Warcat). And on the HoloNet Galactic HoloNews were interrupted... And everybody saw... AN AD! [Cut to: Vader rasping directly in face of a hapless Imperial Officer] You shall _not_ fail me again. [He TKills Officer, stops and turns towards viewers] My job involves lots of close contacts with other people. That's why a fresh breath is necessary. But trying to squeeze a normal toothbrush under my breath mask is very difficult, even with all the power of the Dark Side of the Force on my side. [Vader turns towards another Imperial Officer, who recoils in disgust. He TKills him and turns back toward viewers] That used to happen. But not anymore. Thanks to new BlasTech Sonic Get-Anywhere Toothbrush Droid(TM). Not only he has a nice personality, but he also has a special manipulator allowing him to squeeze the sonic emitter through even the smallest openings. And it is _very_ eficient. [Vader leans towards another Imperial Officer. The oficer smiles. Vader TKills him and turns towards viewers.] Remember. [In Affect-Minding voice] You WILL use BlasTech Sonic Get-Anywhere Toothbrush Droid (TM). [He slowly directs his open hand towards the viewers. Then he clenches his hand and the holoscreen goes dark] [cut to: Rebel party. Lot's of wine, woman and music.] [Sweet female voice] If you are a lone Rebel in a hostile world, call... 000-123-456789-ISB [In an Affect-Minding voice] Remember, 000-123-456789-ISB! [small print in the corner of HoloDisplay] (And only 50 cr/minute) [fade] Return-path: Received: from listmail.aol.com (listmail.aol.com) by DRYCAS.CLUB.CC.CMU.EDU (PMDF V5.0-5 #7763) id <01IB0TVEXESKHXIRHF@DRYCAS.CLUB.CC.CMU.EDU> for JAE@DRYCAS.CLUB.CC.CMU.EDU; Thu, 24 Oct 1996 13:27:41 -0400 (EDT) Received: from LISTSERV.AOL.COM by listmail.aol.com (LSMTP for Windows NT v1.0a) with SMTP id 003D3730 ; Thu, 24 Oct 1996 13:26:45 -0400 Received: from LISTSERV.AOL.COM by LISTSERV.AOL.COM (LISTSERV-TCP/IP release 1.8c) with spool id 6019179 for SW-RPG@LISTSERV.AOL.COM; Thu, 24 Oct 1996 13:17:54 -0400 Received: from pinus.tt.luth.se (pinus.tt.luth.se [130.239.136.128]) by listserv.aol.com (8.6.12/8.6.12) with SMTP id NAA13203 for ; Thu, 24 Oct 1996 13:17:53 -0400 Received: from student.tt.luth.se (bebop.tt.luth.se) by pinus.tt.luth.se with SMTP (5.67b/IDA-1.2.8-NS) id AA06558; Thu, 24 Oct 1996 19:28:15 +0200 Received: from BEBOP/MAILQUEUE by student.tt.luth.se (Mercury 1.12); Thu, 24 Oct 96 19:28:37 MET+0100 Received: from MAILQUEUE by BEBOP (Mercury 1.12); Thu, 24 Oct 96 19:28:23 MET+0100 Date: Thu, 24 Oct 1996 13:17:54 -0400 From: URBAN LUNDQVIST Subject: Re: FLUFF: A Newbie Sender: Star Wars Role Playing Game Discussion Group To: SW-RPG@LISTSERV.AOL.COM Reply-to: URBAN LUNDQVIST Message-id: <18BF65359B0@student.tt.luth.se> Organization: SKERIA Utveckling/HLu MIME-version: 1.0 X-Mailer: Pegasus Mail for Windows (v2.42a) Content-type: text/plain; charset=US-ASCII Content-transfer-encoding: 7BIT Priority: normal Wing Commander Luna is zooming through FTP-space in his old, trusty sturdy mudmoving wild weasel y-wing, in as much comfort you get in a cramped starfighter; that is only with a small bar and jacuzzi, when he is suddenly reminded that you should take nothing for granted: Whoosh!!! A small speck in his rear-view mirror turns into a _very_ fast-moving Gamorean who turns is head towards Luna when he passes the Y-wing and smiles with a toothfaced grin while he gives Luna the finger. Oh No, you dont get away with that! Luna thinks and starts his WWW-burners to increase speed to munchkinism speed (which is so fast that nobody has ever clocked how fast...) Faster than you can say: Vader is a whimp, Luna has passed the fast-running Gamorean, which his threat display has identified as Rogrog, and left him only tasting burnt fluff-fuel in his mouth. -------- As Wing Commander Luna closes in on the besieged Drycas system, he activates all of his weapon systems, Laser cannons, ion cannons, mega-smurf torpedos and his ace-in-the-sleeve, his HARM!-missiles. Technical Briefing: HARM!-missiles, (HARM = Holly A Real Mupp!) where invented by a mad scientist by the name Steinfranken, is the most effective method to counter SPAM (at least to at least Wing Commander Luna:). It is fired at the greatest concentration of SPAM in the vicinity and upon detonation releases the highly dangerous mupp known as Animal, who eats SPAM in a tremendous rate. Time to renentry in Drycas system 5...4...3...2...1 KA-BLAM!!! Wing Commander Luna's old, trusty sturdy mudmoving wild weasel y-wing encounters a solid object which unfortunately was not showing on his sensors due to the fact that it was cloaked. Damn all those cloaked Super-Super Star Destroyers that litter the spaceways! Luna thinks as he spins uncontrollable into deep space. Time to activate the mega-saver seat and bug-out to another dimension, hopefully with lots of blonds and beer and s**... < the insane writer of this fluff is hit hard in his head by his ever-watching wife who thinks that it is time for him to A. make better use of commas B. stop writing and get home naturally, the insane writer of this fluff obeys the Empress back home and stop writing...> Wing Commander Luna Urban Lundqvist Homepage: http://www.sdf.luth.se/~luna Return-path: Received: from listmail.aol.com (listmail.aol.com) by DRYCAS.CLUB.CC.CMU.EDU (PMDF V5.0-5 #7763) id <01IB0UJ7E7F2HXIRHF@DRYCAS.CLUB.CC.CMU.EDU> for JAE@DRYCAS.CLUB.CC.CMU.EDU; Thu, 24 Oct 1996 13:46:05 -0400 (EDT) Received: from LISTSERV.AOL.COM by listmail.aol.com (LSMTP for Windows NT v1.0a) with SMTP id 923FAF80 ; Thu, 24 Oct 1996 13:45:08 -0400 Received: from LISTSERV.AOL.COM by LISTSERV.AOL.COM (LISTSERV-TCP/IP release 1.8c) with spool id 6019799 for SW-RPG@LISTSERV.AOL.COM; Thu, 24 Oct 1996 13:36:19 -0400 Received: from post.aecom.yu.edu (post.aecom.yu.edu [129.98.1.4]) by listserv.aol.com (8.6.12/8.6.12) with ESMTP id NAA14653 for ; Thu, 24 Oct 1996 13:36:14 -0400 Received: from yu1.yu.edu (yu1.yu.edu [129.98.200.100]) by post.aecom.yu.edu (8.7.6/8.7.3) with SMTP id NAA20525 for ; Thu, 24 Oct 1996 13:45:51 -0400 (EDT) Received: by yu1.yu.edu (AIX 3.2/UCB 5.64/4.03) id AA59741; Thu, 24 Oct 1996 13:44:26 -0400 Date: Thu, 24 Oct 1996 13:44:24 -0400 From: "Alter S. Reiss" Subject: FLUFF: Fluffy Spam Sender: Star Wars Role Playing Game Discussion Group To: SW-RPG@LISTSERV.AOL.COM Reply-to: "Alter S. Reiss" Message-id: Organization: Yeshiva University MIME-version: 1.0 Content-type: TEXT/PLAIN; charset=US-ASCII Content-transfer-encoding: 7BIT Across the charred, ash grey surface of Drycas, a hooded figure walked. Clad in a pure white robe, he barely made a sound in passage, despite the fact that the surface of the planet should have been crunchy enough to drown out the breakfast cereal of your choice. The icy wind of the blasted planet blew back the hood. Pure white hair billowed forth, and the unmistakable, doom haunted features of Lyon Destrier, Jedi Knight were revealed. His clouded eye whirled ith the blue intensity of a nova as he surveyed his surroundings. "Why am I here?" he muttered to himself. "It's not as though my Stats were anything out of the ordinary. Hell, I have an average of like 4D+1 in Force skills?" And then he knew. He was not the Lyon Destrier that everybody knew. He was the origional. The other was a pale copy, toned down to allow others to accept him. He was the one that moved a star by will alone. And he was going to get to the Spam storage. There were one or two things there that he needed. True, he sensed other forces in motion, in search of the Spam, for reasons both the same and different than his. But they would never beat him. After all, did any of them have a ship named after them? He ignited his silver bladed, jedi artifact light saber, and winced in pain. Then, he turned it off, unholstered it, and ignited it again. The gaping wound in his side healed over instantly, and he trod forth. --------------------------Alter S. Reiss----------------------- I asreiss@yu1.yu.edu I "It must be inordinatly trying to I I cuon@geocities.com I be such a boob." I I asreiss@hotmail.com I "You have no idea." I ------ http://www.geocities.com/Area51/2129/index.html -------- Return-path: Received: from listmail.aol.com (listmail.aol.com) by DRYCAS.CLUB.CC.CMU.EDU (PMDF V5.0-5 #7763) id <01IB0UZ5WFLEHXIRHF@DRYCAS.CLUB.CC.CMU.EDU> for JAE@DRYCAS.CLUB.CC.CMU.EDU; Thu, 24 Oct 1996 13:58:57 -0400 (EDT) Received: from LISTSERV.AOL.COM by listmail.aol.com (LSMTP for Windows NT v1.0a) with SMTP id 5DEE5DB0 ; Thu, 24 Oct 1996 13:58:00 -0400 Received: from LISTSERV.AOL.COM by LISTSERV.AOL.COM (LISTSERV-TCP/IP release 1.8c) with spool id 6020330 for SW-RPG@LISTSERV.AOL.COM; Thu, 24 Oct 1996 13:49:09 -0400 Received: from river.it.gvsu.edu (river.it.gvsu.edu [148.61.1.16]) by listserv.aol.com (8.6.12/8.6.12) with ESMTP id NAA15848 for ; Thu, 24 Oct 1996 13:49:07 -0400 Received: from localhost by river.it.gvsu.edu with SMTP (1.39.111.2/16.2) id AA054319896; Thu, 24 Oct 1996 13:58:16 -0400 Date: Thu, 24 Oct 1996 13:58:16 -0400 From: Macavity Subject: FLUFF: A Newbie In-reply-to: <18BF65359B0@student.tt.luth.se> Sender: Star Wars Role Playing Game Discussion Group To: SW-RPG@LISTSERV.AOL.COM Reply-to: Macavity Message-id: MIME-version: 1.0 Content-type: TEXT/PLAIN; charset=US-ASCII Content-transfer-encoding: 7BIT On Thu, 24 Oct 1996, URBAN LUNDQVIST wrote: |SPAM (at least to at least Wing Commander Luna:). It is fired at the greatest |concentration of SPAM in the vicinity and upon detonation releases the highly |dangerous mupp known as Animal, who eats SPAM in a tremendous rate. "AIEE!!!" Macavity dove for cover as Animal ravaged the SPAM, praying the he didn't get eaten too. "SPAM!!! Must eat SPAM!!! ANNNNNIIIIIMMMMMAAAAAALLLLLL!! Yeargh!" Wow... this thing sure enjoyed it's job Macavity thought. Maybe if I traded in my flesh and bones for styrofoam I could do that too. While he pondered this he heard a loud sound. Then the cherry blossoms started to fall... "Anime? I thought this was FLUFF... I'm confused..." Now that we think about it, so is this 'writter'. Maybe writting FLUFF while on massive sleep dep is a bad idea... or maybe it's just all the FLUFF-ier... hmmm......... Admit nothing, deny everything, make counter-accusations "Try to catch your erasing thoughts before they burn up in the sun." "Beige Sunshine" by: The Dead Milkmen http://www2.gvsu.edu/~strayerc Return-path: Received: from listmail.aol.com (listmail.aol.com) by DRYCAS.CLUB.CC.CMU.EDU (PMDF V5.0-5 #7763) id <01IB0VGNSIBUHXIRHF@DRYCAS.CLUB.CC.CMU.EDU> for JAE@DRYCAS.CLUB.CC.CMU.EDU; Thu, 24 Oct 1996 14:13:05 -0400 (EDT) Received: from LISTSERV.AOL.COM by listmail.aol.com (LSMTP for Windows NT v1.0a) with SMTP id 5653E280 ; Thu, 24 Oct 1996 14:12:06 -0400 Received: from LISTSERV.AOL.COM by LISTSERV.AOL.COM (LISTSERV-TCP/IP release 1.8c) with spool id 6020943 for SW-RPG@LISTSERV.AOL.COM; Thu, 24 Oct 1996 14:03:13 -0400 Received: from river.it.gvsu.edu (river.it.gvsu.edu [148.61.1.16]) by listserv.aol.com (8.6.12/8.6.12) with ESMTP id OAA17131 for ; Thu, 24 Oct 1996 14:03:11 -0400 Received: from localhost by river.it.gvsu.edu with SMTP (1.39.111.2/16.2) id AA156350739; Thu, 24 Oct 1996 14:12:19 -0400 Date: Thu, 24 Oct 1996 14:12:19 -0400 From: Tenandys Qural Subject: Fluff: Newbies, Spam, and stuff... Sender: Star Wars Role Playing Game Discussion Group To: SW-RPG@LISTSERV.AOL.COM Reply-to: Tenandys Qural Message-id: MIME-version: 1.0 Content-type: TEXT/PLAIN; charset=US-ASCII Content-transfer-encoding: 7BIT Tenandys Qural awoke for a horrible dream, his fur crawling with the very incredulity of it all. He'd felt a disturbance in the natural order of the galaxy, something that threatened to destroy all that was. Was it just a dream? Or was it a precursor to something even more fearful? He shuddered, stumbling to the fridge. And then it all came back to him - the remnants of the dream... He'd been standing amid the ashes of the ruined planet of Drycas, the sky burning above him and the carnage piled about him. Before him was the thing responsible for all of this. And it was holding a bottle of beer. Not any normal, ordinary beer, mind you... It was the beer of evil. Created from all of the bad plot elements of the past and all of the Spam that had filtered through the list, this was no ordinary beer... It had been cloned from an original DarkSide Brew a dozen times, its consciousness cold-filtered through a hundred lifetimes and its original substance brewed from a dead Rodian. Bottled in Kaiburr Glass and capped with a Mandalorian Iron bottletop, it was in a bottle bigger than any other bottle ever created - a SuperBottle, if you will. No one had ever heard of it before it appeared, but yet everyone instinctively feared it. Qural's hand paused as he reached for the beer from the fridge. True, it was noon somewhere in the galaxy, but somehow, he still couldn't bring himself to pop the cap and drink. He shuddered again. Was this the effect of letting the spam out? What was to follow? Tenandys Qural, Lord Khanjheira. "The churches are empty The priest has gone home And we are left standing Together alone..." - October Project, 'Dark Time' Return-path: Received: from listmail.aol.com (listmail.aol.com) by DRYCAS.CLUB.CC.CMU.EDU (PMDF V5.0-5 #7763) id <01IB0VS8I29QHXIRHF@DRYCAS.CLUB.CC.CMU.EDU> for JAE@DRYCAS.CLUB.CC.CMU.EDU; Thu, 24 Oct 1996 14:22:24 -0400 (EDT) Received: from LISTSERV.AOL.COM by listmail.aol.com (LSMTP for Windows NT v1.0a) with SMTP id A485C760 ; Thu, 24 Oct 1996 14:21:27 -0400 Received: from LISTSERV.AOL.COM by LISTSERV.AOL.COM (LISTSERV-TCP/IP release 1.8c) with spool id 6021183 for SW-RPG@LISTSERV.AOL.COM; Thu, 24 Oct 1996 14:12:35 -0400 Received: from bunyip.cc.uq.oz.au (bunyip.cc.uq.oz.au [130.102.2.1]) by listserv.aol.com (8.6.12/8.6.12) with ESMTP id OAA17625 for ; Thu, 24 Oct 1996 14:12:33 -0400 Received: from byss (zzkmarti.slip.cc.uq.oz.au [130.102.86.60]) by bunyip.cc.uq.oz.au (8.7.6/8.7.3) with SMTP id EAA23058 for ; Fri, 25 Oct 1996 04:22:08 +1000 Date: Fri, 25 Oct 1996 04:26:02 -0700 From: James A Subject: Re: FLUFF: A Newbie Sender: Star Wars Role Playing Game Discussion Group X-Sender: zzkmarti@dingo.cc.uq.edu.au To: SW-RPG@LISTSERV.AOL.COM Reply-to: James A Message-id: <1.5.4.32.19961025112602.0067ed94@dingo.cc.uq.edu.au> MIME-version: 1.0 X-Mailer: Windows Eudora Light Version 1.5.4 (32) Content-type: text/plain; charset="us-ascii" Content-transfer-encoding: 7BIT As a battered Y-wing pulled away from him at somthing approaching ludicrious speed, Rogrog wondered why was that poerson inside so upset when he gave the universal greeting? "Snort" It didn't really matter now, Rogrog could smell the SPAM almost upon him. Slowing down, he entered the desolate outskirts of the Drycas system. Ahead of him, there seemed to be a buzz of activity. What was going on? Why were so many here? Who was trying to steal his spam? Threee thoughts at once was three too many for Rogrog's poor brain. To calm down he tugged at his trusty utility belt and removed a can of ID4. As he sprayed the contents over his overheating scalp, the words of the advertising blurb came to his mind "So filling and exciting. Takes your mind off your problems and lets you live in a fantasy of bing bangs and happy endings." Despite this, Rogrog knew that this was only a tempoary measure. Despite what the press said, if he didn't get the spam soon, he would be hungering for the far more satisfying "real thing" TM. Rogrog began trotting foreward when for no reason "Clang" he slammed into something. Puzzled Rogrog rubbed his eyes. Yes he could see straight ahead, but he couldn't move straight ahead. Why? This was puzzling to Rogrog. Reaching for his utility belt he grabbed his Gamorrean Guide to the Galaxy. Thumbing through its pages, he finally found rule number 6421. "If you are stopped by something you cannot see, take a big run-up and run straight at it." "Hrmmm...that's the same answer for rule 6422, 6423, 6424, 6425......." Shrugging, Rogrog closed the book, tok 10 steps backwards, and proceeded at full speed straight ahead. Next stop, the PLanet Drycas.... ******** Lutienant Streen Fildrake was calmly checking over his checkboard. "Yes" he thought to himself, "Z shift were the best Cruchie-dispenser repair-crew on the 'Reaper's Sythe'". Ticking off the final item on his list, he was just about to step into the turbo-lift, when an almighty crash echoed up and down the corridor. Poking his head outside the door, he could see red emergency lights flashing down the corridor as smoke began to gather low to the ground. Precisly where he had been staring only seconds ago was now a gaping huge hole that stretched from one side of the corridor to the other. At one end was the twinlking of space; at the other the shadowy form of the planet Drycas. Rapidly moving towards that form was a blurred green shape. Groping for his comlink, Fildrake squeaked into it "Captain Iskow??? A big green thing just slammed though deck 4463. It's heading straight for Planet Drycas....." James A Return-path: Received: from listmail.aol.com (listmail.aol.com) by DRYCAS.CLUB.CC.CMU.EDU (PMDF V5.0-5 #7763) id <01IB0WUJON2SHXIRHF@DRYCAS.CLUB.CC.CMU.EDU> for JAE@DRYCAS.CLUB.CC.CMU.EDU; Thu, 24 Oct 1996 14:52:30 -0400 (EDT) Received: from LISTSERV.AOL.COM by listmail.aol.com (LSMTP for Windows NT v1.0a) with SMTP id D05686F0 ; Thu, 24 Oct 1996 14:51:18 -0400 Received: from LISTSERV.AOL.COM by LISTSERV.AOL.COM (LISTSERV-TCP/IP release 1.8c) with spool id 6021942 for SW-RPG@LISTSERV.AOL.COM; Thu, 24 Oct 1996 14:42:27 -0400 Received: from river.it.gvsu.edu (river.it.gvsu.edu [148.61.1.16]) by listserv.aol.com (8.6.12/8.6.12) with ESMTP id OAA20288 for ; Thu, 24 Oct 1996 14:42:24 -0400 Received: from localhost by river.it.gvsu.edu with SMTP (1.39.111.2/16.2) id AA156303093; Thu, 24 Oct 1996 14:51:33 -0400 Date: Thu, 24 Oct 1996 14:51:33 -0400 From: Anya Subject: Fluff Sender: Star Wars Role Playing Game Discussion Group To: SW-RPG@LISTSERV.AOL.COM Reply-to: Anya Message-id: MIME-version: 1.0 Content-type: TEXT/PLAIN; charset=US-ASCII Content-transfer-encoding: 7BIT Anya rushed from the house, keys dangling from her hand. "Sorry, Trinan. I have to go! The Fluff has a head start. And thanks for the keys!" A blue furred squib stood at the door, with a tray in his arms. "But, Anya. I have chocolate!" She stealed herself, and rushed off. She would have to use that willpower skill if she would ever even get close to Drycas in this Fluff. She knew she should have spent more character points on that. And since when did shuttles have keys, anyways? Freaks of the World Unite! [Http://www2.gvsu.edu/~ducharmc] (Squib page) Return-path: Received: from listmail.aol.com (listmail.aol.com) by DRYCAS.CLUB.CC.CMU.EDU (PMDF V5.0-5 #7763) id <01IB0X3L4PMUHXIRHF@DRYCAS.CLUB.CC.CMU.EDU> for JAE@DRYCAS.CLUB.CC.CMU.EDU; Thu, 24 Oct 1996 14:59:49 -0400 (EDT) Received: from LISTSERV.AOL.COM by listmail.aol.com (LSMTP for Windows NT v1.0a) with SMTP id D4F0B310 ; Thu, 24 Oct 1996 14:58:35 -0400 Received: from LISTSERV.AOL.COM by LISTSERV.AOL.COM (LISTSERV-TCP/IP release 1.8c) with spool id 6022171 for SW-RPG@LISTSERV.AOL.COM; Thu, 24 Oct 1996 14:49:43 -0400 Received: from INET-02-IMC.microsoft.com (mail2.microsoft.com [131.107.3.42]) by listserv.aol.com (8.6.12/8.6.12) with SMTP id OAA20736 for ; Thu, 24 Oct 1996 14:49:33 -0400 Received: by INET-02-IMC.microsoft.com with SMTP (Microsoft Exchange Server Internet Mail Connector Version 4.0.994.56) id <01BBC1A2.C3E7ED40@INET-02-IMC.microsoft.com>; Thu, 24 Oct 1996 11:59:09 -0700 Date: Thu, 24 Oct 1996 11:59:13 -0700 From: "Brander Roullett (Volt Computer)" Subject: Re: FLUFF: A Newbie... Sender: Star Wars Role Playing Game Discussion Group To: SW-RPG@LISTSERV.AOL.COM Reply-to: "Brander Roullett (Volt Computer)" Message-id: X-Mailer: Microsoft Exchange Server Internet Mail Connector Version 4.0.994.56 Content-transfer-encoding: 7BIT Encoding: 16 TEXT The little Jawa, looked up from the scanner he was tinkering with, and noticed all of the FLUFF signals appearing. Dropping the broken pieces of the scanner he went to his backup scanner. It had been donated to him by some freinds of his, he was sure they wouldn't mind him borrowing it for a while. Besides they never used it... much. After convincing the damn thing to stop making toast (a little modification of his) he noticed all of the fluff signals were heading towards a boring little planet called Dorcas, or Drycas, or something like that. "yububububububub" he muttered to himself as he munched on some toast, and set his Arquunese manufactured T'Zen light freigter controls for the planet of Drycas. AFter a few kicks and a choice jawa curse, the hyperdrive kicked in just fine. Pulling up his favorite chair, he popped in some Jawa porn, and with his plate of toast, a cup of mysterious green liquid he settled in for a nice long trip. Bubba the toast eating jawa joins the fluff... Return-path: Received: from listmail.aol.com (listmail.aol.com) by DRYCAS.CLUB.CC.CMU.EDU (PMDF V5.0-5 #7763) id <01IB0Z4J6PJ68WVYJU@DRYCAS.CLUB.CC.CMU.EDU> for JAE@DRYCAS.CLUB.CC.CMU.EDU; Thu, 24 Oct 1996 15:57:52 -0400 (EDT) Received: from LISTSERV.AOL.COM by listmail.aol.com (LSMTP for Windows NT v1.0a) with SMTP id F8EA0390 ; Thu, 24 Oct 1996 15:56:52 -0400 Received: from LISTSERV.AOL.COM by LISTSERV.AOL.COM (LISTSERV-TCP/IP release 1.8c) with spool id 6024476 for SW-RPG@LISTSERV.AOL.COM; Thu, 24 Oct 1996 15:47:59 -0400 Received: from iu21.cliu.k12.pa.us (iu21.cliu.k12.pa.us [204.186.102.1]) by listserv.aol.com (8.6.12/8.6.12) with ESMTP id PAA25597 for ; Thu, 24 Oct 1996 15:47:58 -0400 Received: from fusion.ptd.net (cs7-1.all.ptd.net [204.186.8.97]) by iu21.cliu.k12.pa.us (8.6.12/8.6.9) with SMTP id PAA00838 for ; Thu, 24 Oct 1996 15:52:29 -0400 Date: Thu, 24 Oct 1996 15:53:02 -0400 From: Proteus Subject: FLUFF: Drastic Measures Sender: Star Wars Role Playing Game Discussion Group X-Sender: proteus@mail.prolog.net To: SW-RPG@LISTSERV.AOL.COM Reply-to: Proteus Message-id: <2.2.32.19961024195302.006c8b08@mail.prolog.net> MIME-version: 1.0 X-Mailer: Windows Eudora Pro Version 2.2 (32) Content-type: text/plain; charset="us-ascii" Content-transfer-encoding: 7BIT At 10:00 AM 10/24/96 -0400, you wrote: >The New Imperium Eclipse-class Star Destroyer dropped out of hyperspace on >the far side of a planet called Drycas. >Drycas... once a mighty throneworld to a vastly powerful Empress, whose >skill even Eildath was awed by, now a smoking rubble heap, infested by Spam, >Zima, and Sith Homers. Eildath had no wish to return, but he must. The >accursed newbies were going to corrupt the universe by opening the vaults of >Drycas: a place so awful that even Eildath, emperor-apparent and reigning >Dark Lord of the Sith, feared. Through the smoke and flames, he choked. "Captain!" His voice was hoarse. There was a heavy coughing to his right, and he squinted to see Sashara Iskow, torn and bloodied but still remarkably composed, stagger up from behind a smoking bulkhead. "I... I am alive, sir," she managed. He supported her and the two of them limped to the center of what was left of the bridge. Inertail dampening and fire-control systems were coming back on-line. "Damage report!" Admiral Blake Ayries demanded. "Sir!" the bloodied helmsman called. "Damage extensive... we've been hit by an object traveling through Z space -- it punched through a hole in our cloaking shields, weakened by a collision with a Y-Wing. Drycas..." The helmsman paled. "... has been ravaged by SPAM." Ayries stifled a curse. "What is our combat status?" "Systems at 64% efficiency. With the hull breach, we couldn't withstand the Warcat's SPAM launch. We didn't even have time to unleash the Stupidity Vaults." There was a slight pause. "Sir! We are detecting an Eclipse-class destroyer!" "A command ship?" pondered Captain Iskow. "Yes sir. Lord Eildath's personal ESD." "Open a hypercomm channel!" the Admiral barked. "Coordinate efforts! The Vaults of Drycas must not be taken at any cost!" "Sir... we cannot initiate the Supidity Protocals... our Continuity Warping Engines are being disrupted by... An Emperor-Class destroyer?!" "My God..." the Admiral whispered. "Something has already escaped the vaults." "That's it, then," Captain Iskow muttered grimly. "We have no choice... but to bring out the big guns." She held her head high. "Continue repair efforts. I want this ship ready to fight." "We're ready now, sir." "Then get *more* ready. The Admiral and I..." She glanced at Ayires. "... have matters to attend to." "Then it's time," he growled softly, so only she could hear. "We have to release him." "I hoped this day would never come," the Captain said resolutely, "but the Empress must be served, and this is our last stupidity reserve." The Admiral nodded his approval and she turned to the comm system, preparing herself: "Commander... prepare to release the cell containing prisoner #KJA." *Proteus proteus@ptdprolog.net or stoutjb@iu21.cliu.k12.pa.us "When somebody asks you if you're a god, you say YES!" Return-path: Received: from listmail.aol.com (listmail.aol.com) by DRYCAS.CLUB.CC.CMU.EDU (PMDF V5.0-5 #7763) id <01IB113J8GDYHXIRHF@DRYCAS.CLUB.CC.CMU.EDU> for JAE@DRYCAS.CLUB.CC.CMU.EDU; Thu, 24 Oct 1996 16:54:17 -0400 (EDT) Received: from LISTSERV.AOL.COM by listmail.aol.com (LSMTP for Windows NT v1.0a) with SMTP id DC1F9600 ; Thu, 24 Oct 1996 16:53:19 -0400 Received: from LISTSERV.AOL.COM by LISTSERV.AOL.COM (LISTSERV-TCP/IP release 1.8c) with spool id 6026413 for SW-RPG@LISTSERV.AOL.COM; Thu, 24 Oct 1996 16:44:29 -0400 Received: from gold.muskoka.com (gold.muskoka.com [207.112.10.5]) by listserv.aol.com (8.6.12/8.6.12) with ESMTP id QAA29705 for ; Thu, 24 Oct 1996 16:44:19 -0400 Received: from emerald.muskoka.com (emerald.muskoka.com [207.112.10.104]) by gold.muskoka.com (8.6.12/8.6.9) with SMTP id RAA26430; Thu, 24 Oct 1996 17:02:46 -0400 Date: Thu, 24 Oct 1996 16:58:28 +0000 From: Joe Coleman Subject: Re: FLUFF: Newbies. (Coming soon: Newbies III !) Sender: Star Wars Role Playing Game Discussion Group To: SW-RPG@LISTSERV.AOL.COM Reply-to: Joe Coleman Message-id: <199610242102.RAA26430@gold.muskoka.com> Organization: Granite Dragon X-Mailer: Pegasus Mail for Win32 (v2.42) Content-transfer-encoding: 7BIT Priority: normal Comments: Authenticated sender is Comments: To: "Mike (Leszek Karlik)" Sometime near 18:28, 26 Oct 96, Mike (Leszek Karlik) wrote: > In the same moment, all HoloNet receivers turned on. Aboard the > Sovereign SD "Reaper's Scythe" Admiral Blake Ayries gasped in shock > and horror... Aboard the Porkchop Express Chewsmacka almost lost > consciousness and Lon Bolo almost lashed out and destroyed receiver > (but he recalled himself that in this Fluff he is Force-Sensitive and > wanted to keep a margin of error for DSP's). Aboard Ghtroc, Z-95 and > Cloakshape of Ruskin family Eithne tried in vain to shield her > chilren from the horror that appeared on their HoloNet receiver. > Eildath the Dark instanly entered Hibernation Trance, and Raptor One, > who was watching Galactic HoloNews almost (almost) spilled his cure > for hangover (i.e. some Gammorean Whisky). Kaal Ironfist stared in > disbelief at the HUD of his TIE Advanced (he even ignored tactical > SPAM mines deployed here by Warcat). > Dropping out of Hyperspace, Doyaa gave the Cutaway viewer another whack to see what he'd missed as he continued to work on his ship. "Un-hunh, that Sith guy is using the commercials as an offensive... Well now, I can't have that. I wonder where my antenna went?" [scenes of Doyaa running around cargo compartments full of junk (er, stuff), cluttered staterooms, and tripping over mechanical pieces in the hallways] "Aha! I found it!" As Doyaa pulled out a large, extensible antenna to attach to the outside of the hull. "Now to find batteries and the extra-strength signal jammer (and get it working)". [More scenes of Doyaa running about _Oops_, this time rigging up a signal jammer with spare parts and bubble-gum, not unlike macguyver would]. Zzzzt! Doyaa flies across the cockpit and hits the far wall, tripping a spring loaded novelty toy which flies across the cockpit in the other direction, coincedentally turing on the signal jammer (with a Bing!). "Urrr, static a baaad thing." Blinking, Doyaa stands [unsteadily] up and peers at the device, "Ah! I've made a machine that goes Bing! And the commercials have stopped!" --- Joe Coleman Muskoka.com Support Crew, Linux Guy, and local Unix nut Return-path: Received: from listmail.aol.com (listmail.aol.com) by DRYCAS.CLUB.CC.CMU.EDU (PMDF V5.0-5 #7763) id <01IB170FACW48WVYJU@DRYCAS.CLUB.CC.CMU.EDU> for JAE@DRYCAS.CLUB.CC.CMU.EDU; Thu, 24 Oct 1996 19:43:37 -0400 (EDT) Received: from LISTSERV.AOL.COM by listmail.aol.com (LSMTP for Windows NT v1.0a) with SMTP id 834F7460 ; Thu, 24 Oct 1996 19:42:38 -0400 Received: from LISTSERV.AOL.COM by LISTSERV.AOL.COM (LISTSERV-TCP/IP release 1.8c) with spool id 6033843 for SW-RPG@LISTSERV.AOL.COM; Thu, 24 Oct 1996 19:33:47 -0400 Received: from service1.cc.uky.edu (service1.uky.edu [128.163.1.168]) by listserv.aol.com (8.6.12/8.6.12) with ESMTP id TAA15023 for ; Thu, 24 Oct 1996 19:33:45 -0400 Received: from ncc.uky.edu ([128.163.17.203]) by service1.cc.uky.edu (8.8.0/8.7.Beta.13) with SMTP id TAA18366 for ; Thu, 24 Oct 1996 19:43:22 -0400 (EDT) Date: Thu, 24 Oct 1996 19:43:19 -0400 From: "Eric Lee Cline, Star Wars Junkie" Subject: FLUFF: The Ruins of Drycas II: The Forbidden Vault Sender: Star Wars Role Playing Game Discussion Group X-Sender: elclin0@pop.uky.edu To: SW-RPG@LISTSERV.AOL.COM Reply-to: "Eric Lee Cline, Star Wars Junkie" Message-id: <2.2.32.19961024234319.0068b108@pop.uky.edu> MIME-version: 1.0 X-Mailer: Windows Eudora Pro Version 2.2 (32) Content-type: text/plain; charset="us-ascii" Content-transfer-encoding: 7BIT Admiral Qel-Droma looked at his sensors, not believing. An EMPEROR-CLASS STAR DESTROYER! Sweat beaded on his brow as he turned towards his crew. "Gentlemen, it seems that there is an Emperor-class Star Destroyer around here somewhere." A collective cry rose from the crew. "SHIT!" Fifteen minutes later, after everyone had gotten clean pairs of dress pants. "What are we going to do sir?" Lieutenant Robin #0204 asked. "Spotty?" Qel-Droma said. "Yes, cap'n" "Convert the axial superlaser for... CanonCannon mode." "Sirr, it canna be done!" "Why... Spotty." "Ahm too drrunk on me Spottish Whizqui to mek it to tha contrrol pahnel." "Lt. Robin?" "Yes?" three of the officers said. "Number 0204." "Yes?" "Arm all ZASES ("zay-says" Zima Amplified by Stimulate Emissions of Spam), bring up the CanonShields, and prepare for battle." Yes sir. *** On the planet below, Eildath reached the passageway to the vaults. He was there first, and would guard it with his own precious life. "Arise, servants" The air around him coalesced into a solid mass. Atoms split, joined together, and became alive. He had created new servants under his command. Scourge, the tracker, and his huntsmen, the Sweeps. Cyclonus, the warrior, and his armada. Uhh... wrong story... He made a two large BattleMechs appear from nowhere. Both were MNCH-KN "Asskickers," with three autocannon/20s each. Uhh... wrong again, but he'll keep e'm. Inside were two Old Trek Goldshirts. Unlike redshirts, these were virtually immortal. He also decide to make transportation for himself. A black sportscar from a long time from then in a galaxy far, far away appeared, it's red photoreceptor glowing... *** Deep in his hidden vault, Raptor smacked his TV. Damn poor reception, he thought. Eric Lee Cline, Star Wars Junkie (elclin0@pop.uky.edu) "Ernest Hemingway once wrote, 'The world is a fine place, and worth fighting for.' I agree with the second part." - Lieutenant William Somerset (Morgan Freeman), Se7en Return-path: Received: from listmail.aol.com (listmail.aol.com) by DRYCAS.CLUB.CC.CMU.EDU (PMDF V5.0-5 #7763) id <01IB1AN0ISNW8WVYJU@DRYCAS.CLUB.CC.CMU.EDU> for JAE@DRYCAS.CLUB.CC.CMU.EDU; Thu, 24 Oct 1996 21:27:21 -0400 (EDT) Received: from LISTSERV.AOL.COM by listmail.aol.com (LSMTP for Windows NT v1.0a) with SMTP id FE7B8E90 ; Thu, 24 Oct 1996 21:26:18 -0400 Received: from LISTSERV.AOL.COM by LISTSERV.AOL.COM (LISTSERV-TCP/IP release 1.8c) with spool id 6037230 for SW-RPG@LISTSERV.AOL.COM; Thu, 24 Oct 1996 21:17:25 -0400 Received: from vm.stlawu.edu (vm.stlawu.edu [199.0.76.25]) by listserv.aol.com (8.6.12/8.6.12) with SMTP id VAA22630 for ; Thu, 24 Oct 1996 21:17:23 -0400 Received: from VM.STLAWU.EDU by vm.stlawu.edu (IBM VM SMTP V2R3) with BSMTP id 6539; Thu, 24 Oct 1996 21:25:03 -0400 (EDT) Received: from MUSIC.STLAWU.EDU (NJE origin MUSIC@STLAWU) by VM.STLAWU.EDU (LMail V1.2c/1.8c) with BSMTP id 5172; Thu, 24 Oct 1996 21:25:03 -0400 Date: Thu, 24 Oct 1996 21:25:02 -0500 (EST) From: Marsh Anne Subject: FLUFF: The SPAM Strikes Back (as does the Zima) In-reply-to: In reply to your message of Thu, 24 Oct 1996 06:39:49 EST Sender: Star Wars Role Playing Game Discussion Group To: SW-RPG@LISTSERV.AOL.COM Reply-to: Marsh Anne Message-id: <24OCT96.23130633.0091.MUSIC@MUSIC.STLAWU.EDU> X-Mailer: MUSIC/SP V5.1.0 Content-transfer-encoding: 7BIT Devor Alac, frustrated at his navigator for sending him to the wrong address on his first attempt to get the Drycas system, finally arrived in his usual lack of timing. The SPAM had just been reinforced, though it looked like it din't need it. The Zima had risen from the planet and was now engaging the Eclipse-class SD some ways off to starboard. "Well, I better do something. Bring out the hibachis and the lighter fluid." And as the Ride of the Valkyries began playing in the background, Dev's troops landed on the suddenly besieged Zima. Matter/Antimatter torpedoes detonated against the bottle, but to little effect. The spam globules hanging on made a valient fight of it. "I'm calling in the air strike," Dev said. "Hit the label on the Z!" he yelled into his comlink. The airstrike perfectly delivered the 2,000,000,000 metric tons of lighter fluid to the designated zone. The SPAM there was instantly immolated. "That smell, that charcoal-lighter smell...it reminds me of... BARBECUE!!!!!!" Then came the water baloons. This was getting out of control. Time for the gas grills. Return-path: Received: from listmail.aol.com (listmail.aol.com) by DRYCAS.CLUB.CC.CMU.EDU (PMDF V5.0-5 #7763) id <01IB1BVSSXOI90MT0L@DRYCAS.CLUB.CC.CMU.EDU> for JAE@DRYCAS.CLUB.CC.CMU.EDU; Thu, 24 Oct 1996 22:03:25 -0400 (EDT) Received: from LISTSERV.AOL.COM by listmail.aol.com (LSMTP for Windows NT v1.0a) with SMTP id 4C927490 ; Thu, 24 Oct 1996 22:04:16 -0400 Received: from LISTSERV.AOL.COM by LISTSERV.AOL.COM (LISTSERV-TCP/IP release 1.8c) with spool id 6038283 for SW-RPG@LISTSERV.AOL.COM; Thu, 24 Oct 1996 21:55:23 -0400 Received: from iu21.cliu.k12.pa.us (iu21.cliu.k12.pa.us [204.186.102.1]) by listserv.aol.com (8.6.12/8.6.12) with ESMTP id VAA25098 for ; Thu, 24 Oct 1996 21:55:21 -0400 Received: from fusion.ptd.net (cs1-07.iro.ptd.net [204.186.7.7]) by iu21.cliu.k12.pa.us (8.6.12/8.6.9) with SMTP id VAA01500 for ; Thu, 24 Oct 1996 21:58:32 -0400 Date: Thu, 24 Oct 1996 21:59:02 -0400 From: Proteus Subject: FLUFF: The Ruins of Drycas Sender: Star Wars Role Playing Game Discussion Group X-Sender: proteus@mail.prolog.net To: SW-RPG@LISTSERV.AOL.COM Reply-to: Proteus Message-id: <2.2.32.19961025015902.006a56e8@mail.prolog.net> MIME-version: 1.0 X-Mailer: Windows Eudora Pro Version 2.2 (32) Content-type: text/plain; charset="us-ascii" Content-transfer-encoding: 7BIT At 07:43 PM 10/24/96 -0400, you wrote: >Admiral Qel-Droma looked at his sensors, not believing. An EMPEROR-CLASS >STAR DESTROYER! Sweat beaded on his brow as he turned towards his crew. "This is madness! The Warcat took out Drycas' commanding Eclipse-class, allowing the Newbies' own ESD to come into play, and now that we've recieved reinforcements from Qel Droma's Eclipse an Emperor-class destroyer has escaped the Vaults!" Captain Iskow threw up her hands in dismay. "Now the SPAM is rising from the surface to engage us! When I first decided that I was going to enrol in the Empress' New Imperium I never thought I'd see the day when a fifteen-kilometer long warship was too small!" "Don't count us out yet, Captain," Admiral Ayries said softly. "Qel Droma has set his axial laser for... CanonCannon mode." Across the smoking bridge there were gasps of astonishment. The Newbies' insidious Toothbrush Droid commercial had been empowered by the Dark Side of Spam, and had ravaged the Sovereign-class *Reaper's Scythe.* While the ship remained cloaked and its weapons systems were mostly operational, it could not stand up to the might of the colossuses before it. "Sir!" called Yoeman Jones. "The Emperor Star Destroyer -- it's 12 parsecs long! We -- and the entire Drycas system -- are being pulled into its gravity well! Hyperspace escape is impossible!" "If you're going to do something, Qel Droma," Iskow muttered, "do it now." As if on cue, the New Imperium ESD fired a confined beam; the CanonCannon -- the infamous weapon which had lead to the downfall of the SWHS and the Marvel Comics of the 70's and 80's. The stream of pure editing material (mostly plasma-phased White-Out) impacted with the Emperor SD, warping the very fabric of its being, draining die codes and tearing apart the thing's credibility. The Emperor's own Munchkinism was being used against it! With a sickening hiss-*pop* the ship and its 6.02 x 10^23 inhabitants were pulled out of existance, into an alternate universe where such rediculous things did not defy the Laws of Credibiliy as defined by the Mighty Lucas and his messenger, the Zahn. <> "Captain, we are detecting a space-time disturbance off the port warp nacelle. It appears to be of unknown origin... approximately the size of Tholian space." "Again?! Damn Borg..." <> "The Emperor-class is down," Sashara Iskow declared zealously. "Drycas is returning to its natural orbit." "Yes, Captain," put in Ayries grimly, "but as you can see, the spam feeds off continuity destruction. It has increased its intercept velocity. And there's still the matter of the Newbies' ESD..." "It's time to end this." The Captain hit a large red button. "KJA... away!!" The prisoner was fired from just below the axial superlaser, passing through the cloaking shields and plunging into the fray. Within moments, the very fabric of the Star Wars universe was twisted and grotesque; suddenly, the very Laws of Decency were being warped. "Eureka!" cried Qel Droma. "What luck! Our special 57D Death Star scale MCPS has come on-line, with the power to destroy... well, anything." "Sir!" cried Robin #2040. "You won't believe this, but... the number of superweapons in the galaxy has just quadrupled! And half of the known sentient species are either arthropods or have a hive intelligence! Plus our Force sensitives report that there has just been a massive spike in the population of Dark Jedis!" The crewman gaped in awe. "Oh, no, sir! There's been an unexpected side effect of the KJA! Admiral Daala has been placed in charge of the New Imperium fleet!" ~Good God!~ thought Droma. The very principals of realism were being rent asunder! "You know what this means..." he whispered. "That we have to crash at least three out of every five destroyer-class vessels into stars, sir?" "This means that puny little ships are able to blow up entire systems and survive direct superlaser hits." All heads on the bridge shot up. Qel Droma's eyes widened. If the KJA was indeed working properly... "Release the TIE Fighters!!" Single TIE/Ins would be able to tear apart sectors! It would be almost as unrealistic as _TIE Fighter_! "KJA is working properly, sir." "Excellent," Ayries said thoughtfully. Now the impossible was possible, but an unfortunate side effect was the fact that capital ships would have a tenancy to blow up due to things like TIE bombers near the exhaust pipes. "Obviously a direct assault would be suicidal... but because the weakest plots were now feasible, perhaps a lone Storm Trooper with a slugthrower could go outside an airlock and try to hit a thermal exhaust port... >He also decide to make transportation for himself. A black sportscar from a >long time from then in a galaxy far, far away appeared, it's red >photoreceptor glowing... My god! A ground vehicle droid plated in Quantum Armored Reflec! Break out the Tank Droids!! *Proteus proteus@ptdprolog.net or stoutjb@iu21.cliu.k12.pa.us "When somebody asks you if you're a god, you say YES!" Return-path: Received: from listmail.aol.com (listmail.aol.com) by DRYCAS.CLUB.CC.CMU.EDU (PMDF V5.0-5 #7763) id <01IB1HV9VLM4HXIRHF@DRYCAS.CLUB.CC.CMU.EDU> for JAE@DRYCAS.CLUB.CC.CMU.EDU; Fri, 25 Oct 1996 00:54:47 -0400 (EDT) Received: from LISTSERV.AOL.COM by listmail.aol.com (LSMTP for Windows NT v1.0a) with SMTP id F3280EC0 ; Fri, 25 Oct 1996 00:53:34 -0400 Received: from LISTSERV.AOL.COM by LISTSERV.AOL.COM (LISTSERV-TCP/IP release 1.8c) with spool id 6043845 for SW-RPG@LISTSERV.AOL.COM; Fri, 25 Oct 1996 00:44:41 -0400 Received: from post.aecom.yu.edu (post.aecom.yu.edu [129.98.1.4]) by listserv.aol.com (8.6.12/8.6.12) with ESMTP id AAA06705 for ; Fri, 25 Oct 1996 00:44:40 -0400 Received: from yu1.yu.edu (yu1.yu.edu [129.98.200.100]) by post.aecom.yu.edu (8.7.6/8.7.3) with SMTP id AAA11598 for ; Fri, 25 Oct 1996 00:54:19 -0400 (EDT) Received: by yu1.yu.edu (AIX 3.2/UCB 5.64/4.03) id AA15020; Fri, 25 Oct 1996 00:52:24 -0400 Date: Fri, 25 Oct 1996 00:52:23 -0400 From: "Alter S. Reiss" Subject: FLUFF: Fluffity fluff, fluff, fluff.... Sender: Star Wars Role Playing Game Discussion Group To: SW-RPG@LISTSERV.AOL.COM Reply-to: "Alter S. Reiss" Message-id: Organization: Yeshiva University MIME-version: 1.0 Content-type: TEXT/PLAIN; charset=US-ASCII Content-transfer-encoding: 7BIT Lyon Destrier moved silently across the surface of Drycas. That is to say, he walked silently several inches above the surface of Drycas, protected by a bubble of pure force energy, as he had just discovered that ruined planets wreak havoc with all white clothing. "Bloody 'Force Laundering'", he muttered, "Damn thing never keeps you clean for more than like a day." But he did not let himself get distracted. He was going to get to the vaults. And soon. By the end of this fluff, in fact. There were a few things that he needed there. True, the vaults held every bit of irritating stuff that had ever been sent to Drycas, but he was going to sort through them to find what he needed. But first, to get there. After he felt that he had done enough of the dramatic walking about on the surface of a ruined planet, he closed his eyes and concintrated. A pillar of flame burst from the sky. Hundreds of kilometers in height, it flashed down through the planet, coring it like an apple. A geyser of molten lava and reheated spam burst forth, to be stilled by a simple gesture by Lyon, and returned to the core. As he levitated down the tunnel that he created, a small flight of Sith Homers, wearing robes of darkest night, drinking Dark Zima and eating Dark Spam flew by. Lyon knew that these were some of the most powerfull force users in the galaxy, but he also knew that they wouldn't attack unless hungry or confused. On reflection he realized that it was a good thing that he wasn't stopping there. Several Kilometers into the bowels of Drycas, he paused, and disintegrated the side wall of the passage. Directly in front of him, was a grey plasteel door with hieroglyphs in forgotten tounges inscriped upon it. He knew that behind this door lay all the Spam there ever was. It boggled the mind. The sheer universe warping power of the contents of that chamber were unimaginable. But he needed one thing from that room. Never mentioned, but implied. The size of the archaic blaster that he wore at his belt. And he would face the very hordes of Spamdom to obtain it. Still, he got here quickly enough. It seemed easy. Too Easy. All Too Easy. Taking a deep breath, he unsealed the chamber door. To discover a room larger than the galaxy, clearly capable of holding vast quantities of improbible devices in a seprate pocket universe, a clever arrangement, that kept the Spam from destroying Drycas in it's prime. Unfortunatly, it was near empty. A flock of lonely "unsuscribs" floated by, and a rather meek looking cyborg with 8D in all attributes bolted out the unsealed door, but that was it. The increased spam levels of Drycas were just those bits of Spam that got away. Somebody had stolen the Spam! And the object that Lyon sought. Probably. After all, it was a very big room. Sighing deeply, he began his search. If it wasn't here, then he would have to find the person that took it. And....deal...with him. --------------------------Alter S. Reiss----------------------- I asreiss@yu1.yu.edu I "It must be inordinatly trying to I I cuon@geocities.com I be such a boob." I I asreiss@hotmail.com I "You have no idea." I ------ http://www.geocities.com/Area51/2129/index.html -------- Return-path: Received: from listmail.aol.com (listmail.aol.com) by DRYCAS.CLUB.CC.CMU.EDU (PMDF V5.0-5 #7763) id <01IB1KECP3CKHXIRHF@DRYCAS.CLUB.CC.CMU.EDU> for JAE@DRYCAS.CLUB.CC.CMU.EDU; Fri, 25 Oct 1996 02:06:38 -0400 (EDT) Received: from LISTSERV.AOL.COM by listmail.aol.com (LSMTP for Windows NT v1.0a) with SMTP id 05D9C770 ; Fri, 25 Oct 1996 02:05:41 -0400 Received: from LISTSERV.AOL.COM by LISTSERV.AOL.COM (LISTSERV-TCP/IP release 1.8c) with spool id 6045088 for SW-RPG@LISTSERV.AOL.COM; Fri, 25 Oct 1996 01:56:49 -0400 Received: from service1.cc.uky.edu (service1.uky.edu [128.163.1.168]) by listserv.aol.com (8.6.12/8.6.12) with ESMTP id BAA09685 for ; Fri, 25 Oct 1996 01:56:48 -0400 Received: from ncc.uky.edu ([128.163.17.203]) by service1.cc.uky.edu (8.8.0/8.7.Beta.13) with SMTP id CAA13343 for ; Fri, 25 Oct 1996 02:06:18 -0400 (EDT) Date: Fri, 25 Oct 1996 02:06:16 -0400 From: "Eric Lee Cline, Star Wars Junkie" Subject: FLUFF: The Spamocalypse Sender: Star Wars Role Playing Game Discussion Group X-Sender: elclin0@pop.uky.edu To: SW-RPG@LISTSERV.AOL.COM Reply-to: "Eric Lee Cline, Star Wars Junkie" Message-id: <2.2.32.19961025060616.0068f1e0@pop.uky.edu> MIME-version: 1.0 X-Mailer: Windows Eudora Pro Version 2.2 (32) Content-type: text/plain; charset="us-ascii" Content-transfer-encoding: 7BIT Eildath watched with pride as the CanonCannon did its grisly work. However, the EmpSD had an unexpected side effect: the vault was cracked. Eildath spun towards the gap, furiously trying to hold the breach closed. Then, through Force-attuned senses, heard the silent screams of a much-maligned man flying through space. They had launched prisoner #KJA. Suddenly, and against all logic and plot sense, his Force powers failed him, and Eildath the Dark, emperor-apparent of the New Imperium, the only man to steal World Devastators from Emperor Palpatine and live, a man who could tear people from their own reality and bring them to his, was thrown back, losing consciousness. Qel-Droma looked at the monitors with abject horror. Everywhere, chaos reigned. Squads of Storm Commandoes with ysalamir frames hunted down Force-sensitive Hutts and plain speaking Gamorreans. Even #KJA couldn't do all this. Then he looked at Drycas, the lovely home of the deadly Empress, as its continents began to fall apart and great fountains of Zima rose spaceward. He wiped a tear from his cheek: Drycas was being destroyed. Eildath came to with a flash. He screamed in terror as the breach, barely held in check, shattered with all the physical improbability of the Sun Crusher. The newbies could get nothing here... the infestation of non-canon fluff spewed forth in a tide not seen since the Canon Wars a year earlier. The Galaxy was doomed... Eric Lee Cline, Star Wars Junkie (elclin0@pop.uky.edu) "Ernest Hemingway once wrote, 'The world is a fine place, and worth fighting for.' I agree with the second part." - Lieutenant William Somerset (Morgan Freeman), Se7en Return-path: Received: from listmail.aol.com (listmail.aol.com) by DRYCAS.CLUB.CC.CMU.EDU (PMDF V5.0-5 #7763) id <01IB1L8OJNZOHXIRHF@DRYCAS.CLUB.CC.CMU.EDU> for JAE@DRYCAS.CLUB.CC.CMU.EDU; Fri, 25 Oct 1996 02:31:05 -0400 (EDT) Received: from LISTSERV.AOL.COM by listmail.aol.com (LSMTP for Windows NT v1.0a) with SMTP id 67A91E30 ; Fri, 25 Oct 1996 02:29:53 -0400 Received: from LISTSERV.AOL.COM by LISTSERV.AOL.COM (LISTSERV-TCP/IP release 1.8c) with spool id 6045412 for SW-RPG@LISTSERV.AOL.COM; Fri, 25 Oct 1996 02:21:01 -0400 Received: from x3.boston.juno.com (x3.boston.juno.com [205.231.100.22]) by listserv.aol.com (8.6.12/8.6.12) with ESMTP id CAA10417 for ; Fri, 25 Oct 1996 02:21:00 -0400 Received: (from trench@juno.com) by x3.boston.juno.com (queuemail) id BAA26536; Fri, 25 Oct 1996 01:18:54 -0400 (EDT) Date: Thu, 24 Oct 1996 23:31:33 -0800 (PST) From: MSTR Trench Subject: Re: FLUFF: Newbies. (Coming soon: Newbies III !) Sender: Star Wars Role Playing Game Discussion Group To: SW-RPG@LISTSERV.AOL.COM Reply-to: MSTR Trench Message-id: <19961024.234143.12942.0.trench@juno.com> X-Mailer: Juno 1.00 Content-transfer-encoding: 7BIT X-Juno-Line-Breaks: 0-21,29,31,35,37,41,43,46 References: <199610242102.RAA26430@gold.muskoka.com> > "Aha! I found it!" As Doyaa pulled out a large, extensible antenna >to >attach to the outside of the hull. "Now to find batteries and the >extra-strength signal jammer (and get it working)". [More scenes of >Doyaa >running about _Oops_, this time rigging up a signal jammer with spare >parts >and bubble-gum, not unlike macguyver would]. > > Zzzzt! Doyaa flies across the cockpit and hits the far wall, >tripping a >spring loaded novelty toy which flies across the cockpit in the other >direction, coincedentally turing on the signal jammer (with a Bing!). >"Urrr, >static a baaad thing." Blinking, Doyaa stands [unsteadily] up and >peers at >the device, "Ah! I've made a machine that goes Bing! And the >commercials >have stopped!" Kaal Ironfist stared in disbelief at the oncoming SPAM meteorites. On top of this, there were some commercials playing on his Combat MultiView Display, and he could not screen them out. In a rage, he considered toasting a block of SPAM flying by, but stopped short when he saw what was inside it. Uncle Talon!! His deceased father's brother. Talon floated by, encased by the vile brown stuff, moaning, KILL ME...KILL ME... And then...he saw flying out of the atmosphere of Drycas, millions of strange-looking creatures buried alive in tombs of SPAM. "No!!!" he shouted. "What's happening? It's all of the NPC's from HELL!!!! The Vaults of Spam have been opened!!" He saw panicky laser blasts issue from the ESD as they toasted the SPAM. Ships started flying by. Kaal knew he had to do something, and fast. Quickly he adjusted the radio frequency on his comm, and began to play his message off of a holotape. The swinging notes of "Tears of Aquanna" were so real you could almost see Doikk N'ats on his Fanfar. "No!! Wrong tape!!" Ironfist was running out of materials to stop the SPAM invasion. Now, he, too, was joining the frantic crowd blasting the SPAM. Millions of Resource Pool templates were roasted to a light crisp. But the SPAM could not be destroyed. "Not that green bastard again!!" The Gamorreans zoomed in front of him, gobbling up all of the SPAM in sight. And then, with a crash, SPAM, evil, evil SPAM, rocked the back of his TIE Advanced. His ship was shaking...about to become another victim of the Dark Side of the SPAM...not to mention the smelly one... Return-path: Received: from listmail.aol.com (listmail.aol.com) by DRYCAS.CLUB.CC.CMU.EDU (PMDF V5.0-5 #7763) id <01IB1MGZI03GHXIRHF@DRYCAS.CLUB.CC.CMU.EDU> for JAE@DRYCAS.CLUB.CC.CMU.EDU; Fri, 25 Oct 1996 03:06:01 -0400 (EDT) Received: from LISTSERV.AOL.COM by listmail.aol.com (LSMTP for Windows NT v1.0a) with SMTP id 4938A920 ; Fri, 25 Oct 1996 03:04:50 -0400 Received: from LISTSERV.AOL.COM by LISTSERV.AOL.COM (LISTSERV-TCP/IP release 1.8c) with spool id 6045741 for SW-RPG@LISTSERV.AOL.COM; Fri, 25 Oct 1996 02:55:56 -0400 Received: from river.it.gvsu.edu (river.it.gvsu.edu [148.61.1.16]) by listserv.aol.com (8.6.12/8.6.12) with ESMTP id CAA11242 for ; Fri, 25 Oct 1996 02:55:55 -0400 Received: from localhost by river.it.gvsu.edu with SMTP (1.39.111.2/16.2) id AA199187107; Fri, 25 Oct 1996 03:05:07 -0400 Date: Fri, 25 Oct 1996 03:05:07 -0400 From: Tenandys Qural Subject: Fluff: Whuf... Sender: Star Wars Role Playing Game Discussion Group To: SW-RPG@LISTSERV.AOL.COM Reply-to: Tenandys Qural Message-id: MIME-version: 1.0 Content-type: TEXT/PLAIN; charset=US-ASCII Content-transfer-encoding: 7BIT Tenandys Qural felt a disturbance in... well, in everything. All the bad, non-SW plot ideas and technological concepts were distorting the cosmos into something that would soon implode upon itself, and as far as he could figure, there was nothing he could do about it. He couldn't even reach his beer. But paradoxically enough, both he and the beer were warping equally, being wholly non-canon in and of themselves. There was something of note in that, but he knew not quite what... *** By the way, Eric? Great sigfile... I'm almost tempted to revise my sig with an equally grand Se7en quote... But I don't want to step on your lines (any more than I already am... Heh). Tenandys Qural, Lord Khanjheira. "The churches are empty The priest has gone home And we are left standing Together alone..." - October Project, 'Dark Time' Return-path: Received: from listmail.aol.com (listmail.aol.com) by DRYCAS.CLUB.CC.CMU.EDU (PMDF V5.0-5 #7763) id <01IB1PCALVC2HXIRHF@DRYCAS.CLUB.CC.CMU.EDU> for JAE@DRYCAS.CLUB.CC.CMU.EDU; Fri, 25 Oct 1996 04:28:32 -0400 (EDT) Received: from LISTSERV.AOL.COM by listmail.aol.com (LSMTP for Windows NT v1.0a) with SMTP id CFF5C280 ; Fri, 25 Oct 1996 04:27:20 -0400 Received: from LISTSERV.AOL.COM by LISTSERV.AOL.COM (LISTSERV-TCP/IP release 1.8c) with spool id 6046378 for SW-RPG@LISTSERV.AOL.COM; Fri, 25 Oct 1996 04:18:27 -0400 Received: from i-2000.com (i-2000.com [204.97.92.2]) by listserv.aol.com (8.6.12/8.6.12) with ESMTP id EAA12684 for ; Fri, 25 Oct 1996 04:18:26 -0400 Received: from 207.97.139.71 (dyn6.access1.babylon.i-2000.net [207.97.139.71]) by i-2000.com (8.7.6/8.7) with SMTP id EAA25828 for ; Fri, 25 Oct 1996 04:28:05 -0400 (EDT) Date: Fri, 25 Oct 1996 04:28:05 -0400 From: Chris Nee Subject: FLUFF: The Ruins of Drycas Sender: Star Wars Role Playing Game Discussion Group To: SW-RPG@LISTSERV.AOL.COM Reply-to: keneet@I-2000.COM Message-id: <199610250828.EAA25828@i-2000.com> X-Mailer: AIR Mail 3.X (SPRY, Inc.) Content-transfer-encoding: 7BIT <---- Begin Included Message ----> "KJA is working properly, sir." "Excellent," Ayries said thoughtfully. Now the impossible was possible, but an unfortunate side effect was the fact that capital ships would have a tenancy to blow up due to things like TIE bombers near the exhaust pipes. "Obviously a direct assault would be suicidal... but because the weakest plots were now feasible, perhaps a lone Storm Trooper with a slugthrower could go outside an airlock and try to hit a thermal exhaust port... >He also decide to make transportation for himself. A black sportscar from a >long time from then in a galaxy far, far away appeared, it's red >photoreceptor glowing... My god! A ground vehicle droid plated in Quantum Armored Reflec! Break out the Tank Droids!! <---- End Included Message ----> It is at this time that Aspiring Jedi Pel arrives in sector, of course with prisoner #KJA released, he is no longer Aspiring Jedi Pel, as it turns out he comes from a long line of force-users, and suddenly the power of lost generations is at his fingertips! Pel is now a Super-Grand Master Jedi!!! (and no longer has to talk to himself!) He suddenly has the power to reach into Drycas, mind you this is an Aspiring Jedi, and search the core.....seeking desperatly a way to stop the SPAM... Unfortunatly while searching the core, his Instinctive Astrogation fails (damn 1 on wild die) and his (slightly) modified X-Wing slams into the Newbies ESD becoming a (mostly) destroyed hunk of garbage. Fortunatly he ejects in time, and becomes a second floating body in orbit around Drycas, joining the Gamorrean in fighting SPAM shipless. (PS don't write FLUFF when sleep Dep'd) Return-path: Received: from listmail.aol.com (listmail.aol.com) by DRYCAS.CLUB.CC.CMU.EDU (PMDF V5.0-5 #7763) id <01IB20S2D5FI90MT0L@DRYCAS.CLUB.CC.CMU.EDU> for JAE@DRYCAS.CLUB.CC.CMU.EDU; Fri, 25 Oct 1996 09:55:50 -0400 (EDT) Received: from LISTSERV.AOL.COM by listmail.aol.com (LSMTP for Windows NT v1.0a) with SMTP id D45D7380 ; Fri, 25 Oct 1996 09:56:44 -0400 Received: from LISTSERV.AOL.COM by LISTSERV.AOL.COM (LISTSERV-TCP/IP release 1.8c) with spool id 0267 for SW-RPG@LISTSERV.AOL.COM; Fri, 25 Oct 1996 09:47:52 -0400 Received: from aldus.northnet.org (aldus.northnet.org [198.175.11.2]) by listserv.aol.com (8.6.12/8.6.12) with SMTP id JAA22789 for ; Fri, 25 Oct 1996 09:47:51 -0400 Received: (qmail-queue invoked by uid 0); Thu, 24 Oct 1996 20:30:00 +0000 Received: from ppp-4.canton.northnet.org (HELO The?Beast) (205.232.94.50) by aldus.northnet.org with SMTP; Thu, 24 Oct 1996 20:29:59 +0000 Date: Fri, 25 Oct 1996 09:47:51 -0400 From: Allison or Chris Koch Subject: FLUFF: The Crimson Jihad Rides Again Sender: Star Wars Role Playing Game Discussion Group X-Sender: koch@northnet.org To: SW-RPG@LISTSERV.AOL.COM Reply-to: Allison or Chris Koch Message-id: <199610251347.JAA22789@listserv.aol.com> MIME-version: 1.0 X-Mailer: Windows Eudora Light Version 1.5.2 Content-type: text/plain; charset="us-ascii" Content-transfer-encoding: 7BIT >And on the HoloNet Galactic HoloNews were interrupted... >And everybody saw... Nothing. At least no one aboard the Forsaken II saw anything. "Whew!" gasped Minos. "I guess you got that block up just in time!" "Yeah," replied Damion Yor, the combat-seasoned Techie-Baadu, and 2nd member of the newly reuinted Crimson Jihad, "It's a good thing he put an EXACT copy of his plans into the message eh?" "Yup. It's nice to be facing a classic villain for once. They're sooooooo predictable! Hey, you thirsty?" "Yeah. See what's taking Qel so long." Minos flipped on the intercom. "Yo Qel, what's keepin' ya? We could really use that ale up here!" "Hold on!" bellowed a voice from the other end of the com system. "I'll be right up!" "Whatever." Minos' scarification pattern slid from blue to purple, indicating his slight annoyance. "It's good to be back together." said Damian. "Us three haven't kicked any butt together in a long while." "Mmm-hm," replied Minos, "it's a good thing I got my hands on that Wookie Ale. And it's even better that the auto-chef understands Wookie. I always wondered if that 6,000,000 language dictionary you installed in him would be of any use!" "Hey, installing it passed the time between missions." An imposing figure, his cybernetic arm shining under the artificial lights, walked into the cockpit. "Yo guys, here's yer Wookie Ale!" he shouted, tossing two bottles towards the conversing warriors. Minos whipped his hand out, snatching his out of the air, while Damian telekinetically siezed his bottle, gently floating it into his waiting hand. "Thanks Qel." said MInos. "By the way, it looks like there'll be some action pretty soon." "Really?" said Qel, with childlike enthusiasm. "Will I get to smash any heads?" "Of course." "Will Damian Enhance Attribute as often as possible, even when there's no logical reason?" "When does he not?" "Will we string some bad guys up naked, humiliating them even more thouroughly then with a simple defeat?" "Would we be the Crimson Jihad if we didn't?" "Woo-hoo! So who're we goin up against?" "OK, there's this Les'thalas guy, considers himself the New Lord of the Sith. Seems like your average newbie right? Wrong this is an evil newbie he's been plottin' for a while...and he's gained access to the Drycas datavaults." "He's WHAT!" screamed Qel. "That's not the worst of it. He plans to release...the Spam." "He's mad!" said Damian, shocked. "Yeah," replied Minos, "but there's more. There's this OTHER guy y'see, the Republic isn't sure exactly who he is, and he's heading out to stop this wacky newbie." "Well," said Damian, "that sounds good." "Not exactly. Y'see, he plans on opening up the Munchkin Vaults, using every single example of BBB syndrome to wipe Les'thalas AND the Spam out of existance." "But.." said Qel, worriedly, "no one can control the power of the Munchkin Vaults!" "I know. That's why SpecOps is sending us in. We have to take out Les'thalas, but at the same time, we have to stop this mystery man. And it won't be easy." "What if we fail?" asked Damian "Well, for that we have ." "Why are you whispering?" asked Qel. "So that the other FLUFFsters don't here me." "Oh." "Yeah well anyway, if we can't beat 'em we'll just have to ." "But...we can't!" said Damian. "If we gotta, we gotta." said Qel. "Soooo...I take it we'll have to plot a new course when we get to Loro? "Actually..." said Minos, cautiously, "we're already on our way to Drycas. We were never going to Loro in the first place." "WHAT!?!?!" screamed both Damian and Qel. "Well I had to get you here somehow!" With that, Damian and Qel took to chasing Minos around the ship, brandishing pointy sticks, and yelling at various times, "I can't believe this!" "You tricked us!" "Smeghead!" and, every once in a while "I want my tip!" Minos was going to get A LOT of exercise in before they dropped out of hyperspace. I'm baaaaaaaaack..... Minos Hurloon, taker of heads, wielder of Vibroaxes koch@northnet.org ******************************************************* *But I remember a message in a demon's hand, * *"Dread the passage of Jesus, for he does not return."* *-Nick Cave * ******************************************************* Return-path: Received: from listmail.aol.com (listmail.aol.com) by DRYCAS.CLUB.CC.CMU.EDU (PMDF V5.0-5 #7763) id <01IB22IA1SI690MT0L@DRYCAS.CLUB.CC.CMU.EDU> for JAE@DRYCAS.CLUB.CC.CMU.EDU; Fri, 25 Oct 1996 10:45:13 -0400 (EDT) Received: from LISTSERV.AOL.COM by listmail.aol.com (LSMTP for Windows NT v1.0a) with SMTP id B16875D0 ; Fri, 25 Oct 1996 10:45:52 -0400 Received: from LISTSERV.AOL.COM by LISTSERV.AOL.COM (LISTSERV-TCP/IP release 1.8c) with spool id 1277 for SW-RPG@LISTSERV.AOL.COM; Fri, 25 Oct 1996 10:36:57 -0400 Received: from its.wlkp.ternet.pl (its.wlkp.ternet.pl [195.116.11.2]) by listserv.aol.com (8.6.12/8.6.12) with ESMTP id KAA25264 for ; Fri, 25 Oct 1996 10:36:46 -0400 Received: from mod0.wlkp.ternet.pl (mod0 [195.116.11.10]) by its.wlkp.ternet.pl (8.6.12/8.6.9) with SMTP id QAA08782 for ; Fri, 25 Oct 1996 16:46:24 +0200 Date: Sun, 27 Oct 1996 17:05:45 +0000 From: "Mike (Leszek Karlik)" Subject: FLUFF: Newbie: Final Confrontation. Sender: Star Wars Role Playing Game Discussion Group To: SW-RPG@LISTSERV.AOL.COM Reply-to: "Mike (Leszek Karlik)" Message-id: <199610251446.QAA08782@its.wlkp.ternet.pl> X-Mailer: Pegasus Mail for Windows (v2.23) Content-transfer-encoding: 7BIT Priority: normal Comments: Authenticated sender is Les'thalas has easily landed. The plan devised by Benedict was great (as usually). He got out of his Warcat and set it on self-destruct in 5 minutes. After all - he was not going to need it if he would find his objective. If not - he would die. He has easily moved through Spam and Zima infested surface of Drycas. He was unstoppable, crackling with power... It was a matter of a few minutes. He has found the secret entry to Vaults of Drycas. The electronic guardian was easily fooled by giving him the "anonymous" treatment, and Les'thalas started to descend into the depths of Drycas. After a few hours of search, he found what he wanted. The Lost DataVault of Drycas, SpamVault. He drew his lighsaber and ignited it with a mere thought. He opened the doors... The improbability hit him straight in the chest. He was knocked back a few hunded feet and was blown inside a wall. He saw all the Spam, all the bad ideas advancing at him. There was only one thing to do... He pulled out that funny card he used once. "Help me..." - with the last of his strength, he pulled Benedict through the card and fainted. Five minutes later it was all over. The only thing left was a few unsubs hiding in the corner and a meek cyborg with 8D stats bolted to the doors. Benedict was gone, as were all the dead. "He was probably hang them in his trophy room" thought grimly Les'thalas. "Well - it's not that I am after it anyway... But the thing I am searching has an entry located somwhere in the SpamVault... He'll find it. Suddenly, Les'thalas felt something approaching. It was powerful. It was from the Light side (boy, did he hate all those one-siders, be it Light or Dark). It was... Leon Destrier? Hmm... What was he doing here? Les'thalas pulled out his character sheet from nowhere, ereased his "Search 20D" and changed it to "Search 50D". With this sudden rush of enhanced perception he has easily found the secret doors to his destination. He slipped through them and suddenly has felt visions, visions of what was going on out there... AARGH! It was Chaos supreme! It had to be stopped! Besides, he arrived here in his Warcat. He didn't have an Emperor-class Star Destroyer. It must have escaped from the Vaults! Then he felt a surge, a warp in the fabric of reality. #KJA was released! The wave of improbability surged. He was suddenly a mentally underdevelopped Hutt in Mandalorian Iron armor, a son of Leia and Boba Fett. And the Drycas itself was being destroyed! But he could help it. He pulled out his character sheet and changed Template type from: stupid Hutt to Noghri/Wookie halfbreed Master of Light, Dark and Prismatic aspects of the Force. He was back! Now to stop the destruction of Drycas! Les'thalas quickly pulled out his copy of Rulebook and ripped out the page that stated that you could only use 1 Force Point per round. Then wrote in his character history that he has in his veins the blood of Exar Kun, Ulic Quel-Droma, Darth Vader, Emperor Palpatine, Luke Skywalker, Vima Da-Boda and Leon Destrier (sorry Leon :>)... Then he added 50D to all his force skills, added himself another 150 FP and spent them all at once. And the he has created a Force Storm. It was grandfather of all Force Storms, and he quickly used it to surgically wipe out all free Spam and Zima. Than he stopped the proces of destruction of Drycas using Telekinesis. And he added to his sheet 1 DSP for using Force Storm. Now, having saved Drycas he could continue through newly discovered tunnel to his destination... The seat of the dark and lithe Empress. THE MAIL SERVER!!!! ... to be continued... Mike (Leszek Karlik - bear@wlkp.ternet.pl) Leslie Grant - Shadowrunner unlimited, matrix wizard. Return-path: Received: from listmail.aol.com (listmail.aol.com) by DRYCAS.CLUB.CC.CMU.EDU (PMDF V5.0-5 #7763) id <01IB2609215690MT0L@DRYCAS.CLUB.CC.CMU.EDU> for JAE@DRYCAS.CLUB.CC.CMU.EDU; Fri, 25 Oct 1996 12:25:14 -0400 (EDT) Received: from LISTSERV.AOL.COM by listmail.aol.com (LSMTP for Windows NT v1.0a) with SMTP id B2E3C2D0 ; Fri, 25 Oct 1996 12:26:08 -0400 Received: from LISTSERV.AOL.COM by LISTSERV.AOL.COM (LISTSERV-TCP/IP release 1.8c) with spool id 4900 for SW-RPG@LISTSERV.AOL.COM; Fri, 25 Oct 1996 12:17:14 -0400 Received: from gollum.globalnet.co.uk (gollum.globalnet.co.uk [194.126.80.109]) by listserv.aol.com (8.6.12/8.6.12) with ESMTP id MAA02906 for ; Fri, 25 Oct 1996 12:16:03 -0400 Received: from client852c.globalnet.co.uk (client852c.globalnet.co.uk [194.126.85.44]) by gollum.globalnet.co.uk (8.6.12/8.6.9) with SMTP id RAA11895 for ; Fri, 25 Oct 1996 17:27:40 +0100 Date: Fri, 25 Oct 1996 17:27:40 +0100 From: R K Francis Subject: Re: FLUFF: One More Newbie... Sender: Star Wars Role Playing Game Discussion Group X-Sender: rkf@mail.globalnet.co.uk To: SW-RPG@LISTSERV.AOL.COM Reply-to: R K Francis Message-id: <199610251627.RAA11895@gollum.globalnet.co.uk> MIME-version: 1.0 X-Mailer: Windows Eudora Light Version 1.5.2 Content-type: text/plain; charset="us-ascii" Content-transfer-encoding: 7BIT In the silence of space, a smugglers freighter dropped away from a Star Destroyer, following the trash trail. As they sped away little did they realise what danger they were in. The helmeted Bounty Hunter powered up the engines of his heavily modified craft the Spamstorm 1 and chased after the freighter. So intent on following the freighter, he did not even notice the huge piece of junk which slammed into the ship...... The room was alive with the sounds of heavy machinery. The insolent smuggler was lowered into the pit, mouthing a last goodbye to his princess. The Bounty Hunter took a step forward, tripped over an Ugnaught and fell headlong into the Carbon Freezing Pit. Some time later after a good thawing, the Bounty Hunter realised what this meant. The general awfulness of the authors attempts at humour, the ludicrous situations, he was in a FLUFF. He sighed deeply as three voices all piped up at once; "We told you!" He slammed the computer and all three voices started arguing. He knew he had to head for Drycas (its a FLUFF thing), but nothing would stand in his way, for he was CUTHBERT FETT!!! The Empire is in its hour of greatest need..... Plot devices and things to shoot at are desperately needed.... If you think you are the right sentient for the job then apply to; The Imperial School Of Cannon Fodder Yes! This once in a lifetime experience teaches you how get completely caned by rebels even when outnumbering them by about 100 to 1. Cuthbert disengaged the Dramatic Necessity Drive and came out of Lightspeed in the Drycas system. "Damn, my first FLUFF post and I've already lost the plot entirely." He rubbed a hand through his hair, forgetting he was wearing Mandalorian Combat Armour and bent his targeter out of shape. "Take us down to the planet" He told the computer. They argued for a bit and then a series of lights flashed on. "NO! NOT THAT WAY! Thats the ejector chaaaaaaaaaaaaaa............" Matt Francis rkf@globalnet.co.uk Return-path: Received: from listmail.aol.com (listmail.aol.com) by DRYCAS.CLUB.CC.CMU.EDU (PMDF V5.0-5 #7763) id <01IB2AZYOH9SHXIRHF@DRYCAS.CLUB.CC.CMU.EDU> for JAE@DRYCAS.CLUB.CC.CMU.EDU; Fri, 25 Oct 1996 14:48:31 -0400 (EDT) Received: from LISTSERV.AOL.COM by listmail.aol.com (LSMTP for Windows NT v1.0a) with SMTP id 752DF0F0 ; Fri, 25 Oct 1996 14:47:34 -0400 Received: from LISTSERV.AOL.COM by LISTSERV.AOL.COM (LISTSERV-TCP/IP release 1.8c) with spool id 10428 for SW-RPG@LISTSERV.AOL.COM; Fri, 25 Oct 1996 14:38:40 -0400 Received: from gollum.globalnet.co.uk (gollum.globalnet.co.uk [194.126.80.109]) by listserv.aol.com (8.6.12/8.6.12) with ESMTP id OAA15201 for ; Fri, 25 Oct 1996 14:38:36 -0400 Received: from client84de.globalnet.co.uk (client84de.globalnet.co.uk [194.126.84.222]) by gollum.globalnet.co.uk (8.6.12/8.6.9) with SMTP id TAA14416 for ; Fri, 25 Oct 1996 19:50:19 +0100 Date: Fri, 25 Oct 1996 19:50:19 +0100 From: R K Francis Subject: FLUFF: Newbies, non-existent plots and bad jokes Sender: Star Wars Role Playing Game Discussion Group X-Sender: rkf@mail.globalnet.co.uk To: SW-RPG@LISTSERV.AOL.COM Reply-to: R K Francis Message-id: <199610251850.TAA14416@gollum.globalnet.co.uk> MIME-version: 1.0 X-Mailer: Windows Eudora Light Version 1.5.2 Content-type: text/plain; charset="us-ascii" Content-transfer-encoding: 7BIT >"Take us down to the planet" He told the computer. They argued for a bit and >then a series of lights flashed on. >"NO! NOT THAT WAY! Thats the ejector chaaaaaaaaaaaaaa............" Cuthbert was catapulted into the ceiling and beyond of the Spamstorm 1. As he entered orbit he noticed something streak by, green, porcine and looking like an oddly shaped bullet. The Spamstorm came up behind Cuthbert and he floated back inside where the three droid brains were still arguing. Cuthbert thought to himself: "What am I doing here? I must be in a FLUFF, my player has given me outrageously munckinised stats, I'm a rip-off of a famous movie character and....OH MY GOD...Theres Dark Spam on my window!!!!" He made a dive for the controls and sent the ship spiralling towards the planet and activated his Neutronicly Charged-Plasmically Injected Windscreen Wipers (TM), totally missing the Dark Spam and knocking an SSD out of orbit. Several minutes later he was circling the area of Drycas, looking for somewhere to set down. He crested a hill and suddenly saw a big sign saying: 'SOMEWHERE FOR FLUFF CHARACTERS TO SET THEIR SHIPS DOWN' "Ah" Chimed the computers, "That looks like somewhere to set down!" Before anyone else could but in with ludicrous repition the Spamstorm 1 eased into a parking lot and Cuthbert payed for his ticket. He looked around, the FLUFF was so commercial now, a stall selling redshirts: 'Guaranteed to die within seconds or your money back!', Toy stalls featuring new Darth Vader Dolls: 'Strangle your friends with the Force!'. The an announcement came over the Tannoy: "Will the owner of the SSSSSD Munchkinite please move it as it is blocking lanes 17 through 20,938,324,234,234. Thank you." The ground shuddered, the writer was far behind in the plot but even he knew it was going to be hell out there. Cuthbert slung his Jetpack on his back, strung a bandolier of Slugthrowers on his waist, Clipped the Dramatic Neccessity Booster on his jetpack, Picked up the crate of thirty Thermal Detonaters, clipped two modified Blastech SuperDL-44's on his belt, slung a Stouker Concussion Rifle on his back, started his helmet video with Monty Python's Life Of Palpatine, picked up his Blastech EE-123 rifle, admired himself in the mirror, turned around and very slowly fell over. Matt Francis rkf@globalnet.co.uk Return-path: Received: from listmail.aol.com (listmail.aol.com) by DRYCAS.CLUB.CC.CMU.EDU (PMDF V5.0-5 #7763) id <01IB2BESBTAY90MT0L@DRYCAS.CLUB.CC.CMU.EDU> for JAE@DRYCAS.CLUB.CC.CMU.EDU; Fri, 25 Oct 1996 15:00:29 -0400 (EDT) Received: from LISTSERV.AOL.COM by listmail.aol.com (LSMTP for Windows NT v1.0a) with SMTP id 5AD24830 ; Fri, 25 Oct 1996 15:01:09 -0400 Received: from LISTSERV.AOL.COM by LISTSERV.AOL.COM (LISTSERV-TCP/IP release 1.8c) with spool id 10822 for SW-RPG@LISTSERV.AOL.COM; Fri, 25 Oct 1996 14:52:13 -0400 Received: from inst.augie.edu (INST.AUGIE.EDU [192.103.41.1]) by listserv.aol.com (8.6.12/8.6.12) with SMTP id OAA16265 for ; Fri, 25 Oct 1996 14:52:12 -0400 Received: from localhost by inst.augie.edu (AIX 4.1/UCB 5.64/4.03) id AA60690; Fri, 25 Oct 1996 14:02:29 -0500 Date: Fri, 25 Oct 1996 14:02:25 -0500 From: RedWizzard Subject: fluff: not another Newbie Sender: Star Wars Role Playing Game Discussion Group To: SW-RPG@LISTSERV.AOL.COM Reply-to: RedWizzard Message-id: MIME-version: 1.0 Content-type: TEXT/PLAIN; charset=US-ASCII Content-transfer-encoding: 7BIT After leaving orbit of his tattered homeworld of Schoolsux for fall break, overjoyous Recks Aloton decided not to go to the casinos of in the Flandru system but instead jumped to hyperspace to join the Crusade on Drycas. He flew over the pulsating, ever changing planet of Drycas dodging SPAM flares and collecting the Zima for later use this weekend that was sprayed by the multiple geysers of the beautiful stuff on the planet. Feeling the surge of the now released KJA, he decided to put his two cents of destructive instinct into the fray just to prove that he could. Spotting the closest Eclipse Class Star Destroyer, he locked onto the Shield generator towers of the soon to be X-SSD and waited for the tone. During the wait, which seemed to take hours to the boysterous cooky young Starfighter Desogn specialist, he noticed something which souldn't be there a new Death Star was brought into orbit by the sadistic Han Solo clone San Holo(come on the guy was a natural leader). Ignoring his orriganal intentions of just being another useless fool aimed at rampant destruction, he decided to replay what should have been the Y-Wings greatest moment and cause something that might just help the Emperess.(Damn, my mother always said I should have paid attention to spelling when I was in the first grade) He turned on his communication equipment "This is the Happy Libertarian, someone cover me I'm going to go in.... Wait cancel that we're in Fluff space ain't we." Nathan Sandberg ntsandbe@inst.augie.edu Return-path: Received: from listmail.aol.com (listmail.aol.com) by DRYCAS.CLUB.CC.CMU.EDU (PMDF V5.0-5 #7763) id <01IB2GH5IIVY90MT0L@DRYCAS.CLUB.CC.CMU.EDU> for JAE@DRYCAS.CLUB.CC.CMU.EDU; Fri, 25 Oct 1996 17:25:10 -0400 (EDT) Received: from LISTSERV.AOL.COM by listmail.aol.com (LSMTP for Windows NT v1.0a) with SMTP id 9A856980 ; Fri, 25 Oct 1996 17:26:06 -0400 Received: from LISTSERV.AOL.COM by LISTSERV.AOL.COM (LISTSERV-TCP/IP release 1.8c) with spool id 15496 for SW-RPG@LISTSERV.AOL.COM; Fri, 25 Oct 1996 17:17:11 -0400 Received: from river.it.gvsu.edu (river.it.gvsu.edu [148.61.1.16]) by listserv.aol.com (8.6.12/8.6.12) with ESMTP id RAA26698 for ; Fri, 25 Oct 1996 17:17:10 -0400 Received: from localhost by river.it.gvsu.edu with SMTP (1.39.111.2/16.2) id AA065868783; Fri, 25 Oct 1996 17:26:23 -0400 Date: Fri, 25 Oct 1996 17:26:23 -0400 From: Anya Subject: Fluff:The Squib's eye view Sender: Star Wars Role Playing Game Discussion Group To: SW-RPG@LISTSERV.AOL.COM Reply-to: Anya Message-id: MIME-version: 1.0 Content-type: TEXT/PLAIN; charset=US-ASCII Content-transfer-encoding: 7BIT Anya rushed towards Drycas, not realizing the danger she was about to face. "Nothing can stop me!" she said confidently to herself. "After all... I've got my secret weapon! And I think I'll mention what it is now, so that all the other fluffsters will know... after all I have... GURVI FRUIT!" she chuckled evily. "Gurvi Fruit, gaurentead to bribe even unbribable imperials. Everyone likes gurvi fruit." Little Did Anya realized that in bringing Gurvi Fruit into this Fluff, she allowed for many other improbable things to happen. Suddenly her ship is pulled out of hyperspace by... THE Interdictor Class SD BONG! It's drugged out captain sits at the helm, smoking a joint. "Can I help you?" he asked. "Umm... just passin by, really." "YOu wouldn't happen to be going to Drycas, would you?" "Uh, no?" "Ah, ha! You botched your con roll. I know your lying to me!" "Damn wild die. Wait! I have another con! I'm delivering... Gurvi Fruit!" Suddenly another Interdictor appears out of no where. "Did someone say Gurvi Fruit? I Love gurvi fruit!" "Hey, she offered it to me man, not you." "Like you care, you're stoned out of your mind!" "So?" "So take this!" And as the two Interdictors start battling eachother, Anya sneaks away unnoticed. "To Drycas!" Unfornately, at that moment, the KJA was released, and Anya was suddely, a TEMPLATE squib! "Arrrggg... no can talk like smart thing now... must annoy..." "Must be redneck... and me blue!" "Talkie-talk man? Bargain... deal?" Freaks of the World Unite! [Http://www2.gvsu.edu/~ducharmc] (Squib page) Return-path: Received: from listmail.aol.com (listmail.aol.com) by DRYCAS.CLUB.CC.CMU.EDU (PMDF V5.0-5 #7763) id <01IB2L3727JUHXIRHF@DRYCAS.CLUB.CC.CMU.EDU> for JAE@DRYCAS.CLUB.CC.CMU.EDU; Fri, 25 Oct 1996 19:37:28 -0400 (EDT) Received: from LISTSERV.AOL.COM by listmail.aol.com (LSMTP for Windows NT v1.0a) with SMTP id C98AE5E0 ; Fri, 25 Oct 1996 19:36:15 -0400 Received: from LISTSERV.AOL.COM by LISTSERV.AOL.COM (LISTSERV-TCP/IP release 1.8c) with spool id 25754 for SW-RPG@LISTSERV.AOL.COM; Fri, 25 Oct 1996 19:27:19 -0400 Received: from server.sid.cquest.utoronto.ca (server.sid.cquest.utoronto.ca [192.82.128.1]) by listserv.aol.com (8.6.12/8.6.12) with SMTP id TAA18675 for ; Fri, 25 Oct 1996 19:27:17 -0400 Received: from localhost by server.sid.cquest.utoronto.ca with SMTP id <7088>; Fri, 25 Oct 1996 19:36:55 -0400 Date: Fri, 25 Oct 1996 19:36:46 -0400 From: MICHAEL SCHLOSS Subject: FLUFF: Lost In Spaaaaaccce!!! Sender: Star Wars Role Playing Game Discussion Group To: SW-RPG@LISTSERV.AOL.COM Reply-to: MICHAEL SCHLOSS Message-id: MIME-version: 1.0 Content-type: TEXT/PLAIN; charset=US-ASCII Content-transfer-encoding: 7BIT "Where the %$#!&* are we?!?!?!" Lon Bolo paced back and forth across the cockpit of the Porkchop Express. His huge wookie hands clenching and unclenching, resisting the terrible temptation to let loose with his newly-acquired force powers and blast Chewsmaka into little Correlian Chunks(Tm). "WRawrrrr!?" said the blue-eyed smuggler. "I KNOW we're lost you pathetic hairless piece of smuggler meat! If you'd been paying attention, instead of playing with your Giggling Moff Tarkin and Flayed Flesh Leia dolls(tm) we'd be saving the gallaxy from the terrible Newbie threat, instead of scraping superhero entrails off our windshield!" He looked out the window. It looked like a huge blue and red bug had slammed into it. The radio dish was crushed by what appeared to be a huge, angry green man, and a cowled man in a blue and black cloak and a boy in orange and green tights were impaled on the quad-lasers. Weird. "We have to get back to Drycas, so we can be Heroes.." "WWWRAAAwrrrrRRRrrr" " I know you never wanted to be a hero. You always wanted to be a..." STOP THAT. STOP THAT. THAT"S SILLY. Strange, thought Lon Bolo. He'd never heard The Force speak before. Return-path: Received: from listmail.aol.com (listmail.aol.com) by DRYCAS.CLUB.CC.CMU.EDU (PMDF V5.0-5 #7763) id <01IB2PI07Y0AHXIRHF@DRYCAS.CLUB.CC.CMU.EDU> for JAE@DRYCAS.CLUB.CC.CMU.EDU; Fri, 25 Oct 1996 21:43:56 -0400 (EDT) Received: from LISTSERV.AOL.COM by listmail.aol.com (LSMTP for Windows NT v1.0a) with SMTP id 7D5E7350 ; Fri, 25 Oct 1996 21:42:59 -0400 Received: from LISTSERV.AOL.COM by LISTSERV.AOL.COM (LISTSERV-TCP/IP release 1.8c) with spool id 29875 for SW-RPG@LISTSERV.AOL.COM; Fri, 25 Oct 1996 21:34:02 -0400 Received: from x3.boston.juno.com (x3.boston.juno.com [205.231.100.22]) by listserv.aol.com (8.6.12/8.6.12) with ESMTP id VAA26116 for ; Fri, 25 Oct 1996 21:34:01 -0400 Received: (from trench@juno.com) by x3.boston.juno.com (queuemail) id UAC25737; Fri, 25 Oct 1996 20:53:24 -0400 (EDT) Date: Fri, 25 Oct 1996 17:23:33 -0800 (PST) From: MSTR Trench Subject: Re: FLUFF: Newbie: Final Confrontation. Sender: Star Wars Role Playing Game Discussion Group To: SW-RPG@LISTSERV.AOL.COM Reply-to: MSTR Trench Message-id: <19961025.191600.12942.10.trench@juno.com> X-Mailer: Juno 1.00 Content-transfer-encoding: 7BIT X-Juno-Line-Breaks: 0-11,17,20,23,25-26 References: <199610251446.QAA08782@its.wlkp.ternet.pl> > >Now, having saved Drycas he could continue through newly discovered >tunnel to his destination... > >The seat of the dark and lithe Empress. > >THE MAIL SERVER!!!! > >... to be continued... ----end previous message-------- Kaal Ironfist had just shaken the SPAM off of his TIE Advanced, and was about to fry another piece, when suddenly the whole planet of Drycas began to shake. It looked like it was about to explode!!! And then, a great white wind whirled up over the planet. The face of Lesthelas loomed over everybody in space, and suddenly the planet returned to normal. A great weight lifted off of Kaal's shoulders as he realized that the SPAM and the Zima had been vanquished. Now he knew where Lesthelas was heading. It was now or never. He sped his TIE down to the planet's surface, and landed at the aforementioned spaceports. He even bought a replica of Han's dice for good luck. Kaal extended the jetpack implant from his back with two quick motions and sped towards the now wide-open Vaults of Drycas. He needed the stats for those Munchinist weapons....and FAST. Return-path: Received: from listmail.aol.com (listmail.aol.com) by DRYCAS.CLUB.CC.CMU.EDU (PMDF V5.0-5 #7763) id <01IB2Z46VILUHXIRHF@DRYCAS.CLUB.CC.CMU.EDU> for JAE@DRYCAS.CLUB.CC.CMU.EDU; Sat, 26 Oct 1996 02:19:07 -0400 (EDT) Received: from LISTSERV.AOL.COM by listmail.aol.com (LSMTP for Windows NT v1.0a) with SMTP id EF20F5A0 ; Sat, 26 Oct 1996 02:18:10 -0400 Received: from LISTSERV.AOL.COM by LISTSERV.AOL.COM (LISTSERV-TCP/IP release 1.8c) with spool id 36133 for SW-RPG@LISTSERV.AOL.COM; Sat, 26 Oct 1996 02:09:14 -0400 Received: from aldus.northnet.org (aldus.northnet.org [198.175.11.2]) by listserv.aol.com (8.6.12/8.6.12) with SMTP id CAA09910 for ; Sat, 26 Oct 1996 02:09:13 -0400 Received: (qmail-queue invoked by uid 0); Sat, 26 Oct 1996 06:19:21 +0000 Received: from ppp-8.canton.northnet.org (HELO The?Beast) (205.232.94.54) by aldus.northnet.org with SMTP; Sat, 26 Oct 1996 06:19:20 +0000 Date: Sat, 26 Oct 1996 02:09:13 -0400 From: Allison or Chris Koch Subject: FLUFF: Reality Bites Back Sender: Star Wars Role Playing Game Discussion Group X-Sender: koch@northnet.org To: SW-RPG@LISTSERV.AOL.COM Reply-to: Allison or Chris Koch Message-id: <199610260609.CAA09910@listserv.aol.com> MIME-version: 1.0 X-Mailer: Windows Eudora Light Version 1.5.2 Content-type: text/plain; charset="us-ascii" Content-transfer-encoding: 7BIT The Forsaken II dropped out of hyperspace. Directly into a Kevin J Anderson book (or so it seemed). "SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIT!!!!!!" screamed Minos. "Force...fucked...up...can't...handle...this much....crap!" spoke Damian as he fell to the floor in spam-induced siezures. Suddenly Jedi Master Gump poofed into existance. "The Force is like a box of chocolates. You never know what yer gonna git.", he said, and then poofed back out of reality. The crew of the Forsaken II was thoroughly perplexed. They were even more thoroughly perplexed when Qel poofed out of existance, only to be replaced with a paisley-clad pantywaist pacifist version of himself. "Can't we all just get along?", he said. Minos and Damian screamed in terror. Then he poofed back out of existance, replaced with the original, ultra-violent, bloodthirsty, sarcastic Qel. "That sucked.", said the true Qel. Then they all turned into women. "GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!", they screamed in unison. "Damn continuity warping!" yelled Minos. "We have to take out that KJA!" screamed Qel. Then they all turned into Hutts. "Too...fat...can't...all...fit...in...cockpit!" gasped Minos. "Hull...bursting!" choked Damian. Then they all turned into protocol droids. "Great," said Qel, "now we're all pansies, and we can't shoot that KJA until we change again!" "Bugger." said Damian. "I second that buggering." stated Minos. Then they all turned into newts! They got better. "Finally, back to normal!" sighed Minos. "But it may not last for long! It's time to use our....SECRET WEAPON! Qel, Damian arm....the CanonTorps!" "Aye Captain Steubing!" they said in unison, and ran off. "And bring me....a shrubbery!" Minos added. A few minutes later, Damian's voice crackeled over the intercom. "Yo, Minos, the torps're set! Blow that hacks ass away!" "Right!" Minos replied. And, after pausing dramatically with his hand aloft, spent a Force Point, and fired. The CanonTorps struck their mark, destroying the beast, and sending ripples of contiuity throughout the system. The badly written menaces were no more. "Whew!" gasped Minos. "Republic Intelligence would've had our heads if we'd screwed up that one. Everyone OK? Qel? You look kind of...distraced." "It's nothing..." said Qel. "It's just that, for a minute, I kind of liked being a woman." Damian smacked Qel upside the head with the handle of his lightsaber. "Huh? Wha? Oh, I guess that was the remnants of the pacifist pansy speaking..." Qel trailed off. "Sure Qel, uh-huh, whatever." replied Minos. " Now to deal with the mastermind behind this horrible scheme....." and Minos trailed off, dramatically. And extra Force Points were awarded all around. Minos Hurloon, Defender of Dominia, Invisivle fist of GoD, SW-RPGer extrordinaire koch@northnet.org ******************************************************* *But I remember a message in a demon's hand, * *"Dread the passage of jesus, for he does not return."* *-Nick Cave * ******************************************************* Return-path: Received: from listmail.aol.com (listmail.aol.com) by DRYCAS.CLUB.CC.CMU.EDU (PMDF V5.0-5 #7763) id <01IB31MOJDGOHXIRHF@DRYCAS.CLUB.CC.CMU.EDU> for JAE@DRYCAS.CLUB.CC.CMU.EDU; Sat, 26 Oct 1996 03:31:17 -0400 (EDT) Received: from LISTSERV.AOL.COM by listmail.aol.com (LSMTP for Windows NT v1.0a) with SMTP id FB403F30 ; Sat, 26 Oct 1996 03:30:06 -0400 Received: from LISTSERV.AOL.COM by LISTSERV.AOL.COM (LISTSERV-TCP/IP release 1.8c) with spool id 36827 for SW-RPG@LISTSERV.AOL.COM; Sat, 26 Oct 1996 03:21:08 -0400 Received: from river.it.gvsu.edu (river.it.gvsu.edu [148.61.1.16]) by listserv.aol.com (8.6.12/8.6.12) with ESMTP id DAA11507 for ; Sat, 26 Oct 1996 03:21:07 -0400 Received: from localhost by river.it.gvsu.edu with SMTP (1.39.111.2/16.2) id AA257445023; Sat, 26 Oct 1996 03:30:23 -0400 Date: Sat, 26 Oct 1996 03:30:23 -0400 From: Macavity Subject: FLUFF: AIEE!! KJA! In-reply-to: <199610260609.CAA09910@listserv.aol.com> Sender: Star Wars Role Playing Game Discussion Group To: SW-RPG@LISTSERV.AOL.COM Reply-to: Macavity Message-id: MIME-version: 1.0 Content-type: TEXT/PLAIN; charset=US-ASCII Content-transfer-encoding: 7BIT Macavity continued his aimless wanderings trying to make sense of things. That's when it went screwy. Suddenly there were Doomsday (tm) ships all over the place. Macavity looked around, wondering if the Moronic Hero Nadiic had suddenly become a god. Then he realized that even Nadiic was this nuts... it must be the KJA! He dove for cover, but it was too late. He was hit in the head with a Bad Concept, and suddenly he felt power. Lots of power. He was also 20 feet tall. This was kinda neat. After all, -somebody- has to be given exception power, why not him? He started shooting beams of energy that made the Death Star laser look like a pea shooter. Dark SPAM died all around. He threw back his head in insane glee... and then reverted to normal. "Damn... looks like someone killed the KJA... oh well... was fun while it lasted... Now then... where's what I'm looking for?" Admit nothing, deny everything, make counter-accusations "Try to catch your erasing thoughts before they burn up in the sun." "Beige Sunshine" by: The Dead Milkmen http://www2.gvsu.edu/~strayerc Return-path: Received: from listmail.aol.com (listmail.aol.com) by DRYCAS.CLUB.CC.CMU.EDU (PMDF V5.0-5 #7763) id <01IB32U8GVJQ90MT0L@DRYCAS.CLUB.CC.CMU.EDU> for JAE@DRYCAS.CLUB.CC.CMU.EDU; Sat, 26 Oct 1996 04:05:38 -0400 (EDT) Received: from LISTSERV.AOL.COM by listmail.aol.com (LSMTP for Windows NT v1.0a) with SMTP id 0BF779B0 ; Sat, 26 Oct 1996 04:06:21 -0400 Received: from LISTSERV.AOL.COM by LISTSERV.AOL.COM (LISTSERV-TCP/IP release 1.8c) with spool id 37051 for SW-RPG@LISTSERV.AOL.COM; Sat, 26 Oct 1996 03:57:24 -0400 Received: from i-2000.com (i-2000.com [204.97.92.2]) by listserv.aol.com (8.6.12/8.6.12) with ESMTP id DAA11994 for ; Sat, 26 Oct 1996 03:57:23 -0400 Received: from 207.97.139.74 (dyn9.access1.babylon.i-2000.net [207.97.139.74]) by i-2000.com (8.7.6/8.7) with SMTP id EAA25386 for ; Sat, 26 Oct 1996 04:07:06 -0400 (EDT) Date: Sat, 26 Oct 1996 04:07:06 -0400 From: Chris Nee Subject: FLUFF: Reality Bites Back Sender: Star Wars Role Playing Game Discussion Group To: SW-RPG@LISTSERV.AOL.COM Reply-to: keneet@I-2000.COM Message-id: <199610260807.EAA25386@i-2000.com> X-Mailer: AIR Mail 3.X (SPRY, Inc.) Content-transfer-encoding: 7BIT <---- Begin Included Message ----> And, after pausing dramatically with his hand aloft, spent a Force Point, and fired. The CanonTorps struck their mark, destroying the beast, and sending ripples of contiuity throughout the system. The badly written menaces were no more. <---- End Included Message ----> As Super-Powered ASpiring Jedi's Pel last action (before his super powering disappears) he force-translocates himself down to Drycas, hoping to actually play a part in furthering the plot of this FLUFF, which would be a lot easier if there were indeed a plot. "Hmm" (now that his super powering is gone, he has to talk to himself again" maybe I should go read the logs since I'm here, and find what the plot is" so off he sets, trudging through the remains of SPAM, Zima, (perhaps even the remains of previous FLUFFs, rancid Wookie Ale, Dead Dark Ones (even the Really Dark One?) to go in search of.......... (mandatory dramatic pause and fanfare) the plot! Return-path: Received: from listmail.aol.com (listmail.aol.com) by DRYCAS.CLUB.CC.CMU.EDU (PMDF V5.0-5 #7763) id <01IB3PW685CMHXIRHF@DRYCAS.CLUB.CC.CMU.EDU> for JAE@DRYCAS.CLUB.CC.CMU.EDU; Sat, 26 Oct 1996 15:06:09 -0400 (EDT) Received: from LISTSERV.AOL.COM by listmail.aol.com (LSMTP for Windows NT v1.0a) with SMTP id 15B53350 ; Sat, 26 Oct 1996 15:05:11 -0400 Received: from LISTSERV.AOL.COM by LISTSERV.AOL.COM (LISTSERV-TCP/IP release 1.8c) with spool id 30590 for SW-RPG@LISTSERV.AOL.COM; Sat, 26 Oct 1996 14:56:13 -0400 Received: from service1.cc.uky.edu (service1.uky.edu [128.163.1.168]) by listserv.aol.com (8.6.12/8.6.12) with ESMTP id OAA01276 for ; Sat, 26 Oct 1996 14:56:12 -0400 Received: from ncc.uky.edu (ibm21.pclab.uky.edu [128.163.17.21]) by service1.cc.uky.edu (8.8.0/8.7.Beta.13) with SMTP id PAA03173 for ; Sat, 26 Oct 1996 15:05:53 -0400 (EDT) Date: Sat, 26 Oct 1996 15:05:54 -0400 From: "Eric Lee Cline, Star Wars Junkie" Subject: FLUFF: Eildath's Undoing Sender: Star Wars Role Playing Game Discussion Group X-Sender: elclin0@pop.uky.edu To: SW-RPG@LISTSERV.AOL.COM Reply-to: "Eric Lee Cline, Star Wars Junkie" Message-id: <2.2.32.19961026190554.00698190@pop.uky.edu> MIME-version: 1.0 X-Mailer: Windows Eudora Pro Version 2.2 (32) Content-type: text/plain; charset="us-ascii" Content-transfer-encoding: 7BIT Eildath sat sullenly in the ruins of Drycas. The rampant Force Storm had kept the planet from flying apart, but it was just a temporary measure. Soon the Vaults would be all that remained. As he sat, wondering what would become of his New Imperium in this new chaotic universe, a barely functioning File Transfer Protocol Droid walked up. Eildath accessed the files within, and began to read... Yes! Inside were some of the greatest powers in the fluff... and crossovers. He loaded up a few files he liked and accessed them. Suddenly, he was granted new weapons, troops and ships. This war would not be lost, for with them he had placed CanonWeapon technology! He grabbed a lightsaber, this one a nice dark violet one, an adapted it to CanonTech. Fully prepare, Eildath waded into the field of battle. *** Aboard Eildath's ESD, Admiral Qel-Droma's Computer Technician, Gates #0666, had finished laminating hardcopies of all the New Imperium's statistics. They were now safe from rewriting. Eildath again led them, and they were still hidden in the mysterious Darkhold Reach. Their Axial CanonCannon fired again, wiping out a large grey cube made of mettallic Spam. Admiral Qel-Droma called for backup... *** Eildath sliced a Dark Homer. Realities were severed by the blade and coalesced into nothingness. Homer was no more. Eildath was now followed by several other fighters, freed from death via FTP Droid or realeased from the vaults. These he could not kill yet. As long as they assisted him they would be useful, but after he had cleaned up, the ones from the vaults would be dispatched. Chief among his allies was the Almost-but-not-quite-by-a-small-fraction Really Dark One, who had fought Spam before. *** Almost instantly, and rather physically impossible, Admiral Qel-Dromas help arrived early. The New Imperium's two functioning World Devastators, their sole Mk2 Torpedo Sphere, and a New Imperium Super Destroyer, a 10 km ship that was an improvement on the orginal SSD. One of the Devastators went to work immediately, eating tht original, shattered vault, and creating a new one. The other went to work on the planet, eating non-canon things. And so the war raged... Eric Lee Cline, Star Wars Junkie (elclin0@pop.uky.edu) "Hey! You can just kiss my pick hairless..." - Rattrap, Transformers: Beast Wars "Fallen Comrades" Return-path: Received: from listmail.aol.com (listmail.aol.com) by DRYCAS.CLUB.CC.CMU.EDU (PMDF V5.0-5 #7763) id <01IB3SCKJSFU90MT0L@DRYCAS.CLUB.CC.CMU.EDU> for JAE@DRYCAS.CLUB.CC.CMU.EDU; Sat, 26 Oct 1996 16:15:51 -0400 (EDT) Received: from LISTSERV.AOL.COM by listmail.aol.com (LSMTP for Windows NT v1.0a) with SMTP id 1027CC90 ; Sat, 26 Oct 1996 16:16:37 -0400 Received: from LISTSERV.AOL.COM by LISTSERV.AOL.COM (LISTSERV-TCP/IP release 1.8c) with spool id 32880 for SW-RPG@LISTSERV.AOL.COM; Sat, 26 Oct 1996 16:07:38 -0400 Received: from inst.augie.edu (INST.AUGIE.EDU [192.103.41.1]) by listserv.aol.com (8.6.12/8.6.12) with SMTP id QAA06331 for ; Sat, 26 Oct 1996 16:07:36 -0400 Received: from localhost by inst.augie.edu (AIX 4.1/UCB 5.64/4.03) id AA94232; Sat, 26 Oct 1996 15:18:04 -0500 Date: Sat, 26 Oct 1996 15:18:04 -0500 From: RedWizzard Subject: FLUFF New musical based attacks(STATS Might just show up some day) In-reply-to: Sender: Star Wars Role Playing Game Discussion Group To: SW-RPG@LISTSERV.AOL.COM Reply-to: RedWizzard Message-id: MIME-version: 1.0 Content-type: TEXT/PLAIN; charset=US-ASCII Content-transfer-encoding: 7BIT Recks Aloton leveled off his modified Y-Wing on course for the recently appeared Death Star controlled by the clone San Holo. His was absolutely shaking with the joy of being able to test out the new Music Skill List Disrupter, which he helped to build in the second run. Launching the fiendish torpedo on the unsuspecting inhabitants, he witnessed the shockwave like wake left by the incesent flaming and insults left by the insidious weapon. Soon the inhabitants of the Death Star willbe unable to have a conversation without it resulting in a stream of bickering which mostly was: "Mechanical Based!" "Dexterity Based!!" "Mechanical Based!!!" "Dexterity Based!!!!" "Why are you two bickering you both know deep down that Music is a Perception Based skill?" And the like until the the entire station fell apart around them, now to use this Torpedo to disrupt the Newbies long enough to subdue them, all Recks had to do is find them. (By the way the Death Star was destroyed by not only the endless useless converasation, but also by an equally useless Gamorean who repeatedly slammed into the Station a multitude of times while in orbit of the planet.) Return-path: Received: from listmail.aol.com (listmail.aol.com) by DRYCAS.CLUB.CC.CMU.EDU (PMDF V5.0-5 #7763) id <01IB6NQBVLB890MT0L@DRYCAS.CLUB.CC.CMU.EDU> for JAE@DRYCAS.CLUB.CC.CMU.EDU; Mon, 28 Oct 1996 17:39:41 -0400 (EDT) Received: from LISTSERV.AOL.COM by listmail.aol.com (LSMTP for Windows NT v1.0a) with SMTP id E416FCE0 ; Sun, 27 Oct 1996 11:42:11 -0500 Received: from LISTSERV.AOL.COM by LISTSERV.AOL.COM (LISTSERV-TCP/IP release 1.8c) with spool id 44905 for SW-RPG@LISTSERV.AOL.COM; Sun, 27 Oct 1996 11:33:10 -0500 Received: from gollum.globalnet.co.uk (gollum.globalnet.co.uk [194.126.80.109]) by listserv.aol.com (8.6.12/8.6.12) with ESMTP id LAA23733 for ; Sun, 27 Oct 1996 11:33:06 -0500 Received: from client84d5.globalnet.co.uk (client84d5.globalnet.co.uk [194.126.84.213]) by gollum.globalnet.co.uk (8.6.12/8.6.9) with SMTP id QAA03189 for ; Sun, 27 Oct 1996 16:45:23 +0000 (GMT) Date: Sun, 27 Oct 1996 16:45:23 +0000 (GMT) From: R K Francis Subject: FLUFF: The Vaults of Drycas (and more spam) Sender: Star Wars Role Playing Game Discussion Group X-Sender: rkf@mail.globalnet.co.uk (Unverified) To: SW-RPG@LISTSERV.AOL.COM Reply-to: R K Francis Message-id: <199610271645.QAA03189@gollum.globalnet.co.uk> MIME-version: 1.0 X-Mailer: Windows Eudora Light Version 1.5.2 Content-type: text/plain; charset="us-ascii" Content-transfer-encoding: 7BIT After divesting himself of some of his heavier pieces of equipment, allowing time for his player to find if there was indeed a plot, Cuthbert turned east towards the palace. "The Vaults of Drycas" He said in a melodramatic voice. Then he activated the Dramatic Necessity Boost (TM) and sped east trying to dodge falling Dark Spam and Zima, and failing miserably. He landed some way from the palace amongst a group of people toiling in the mud. After digging himself out of the crater, he turned to the nearest person. "Old Woman" He called "Man" "What?!" "Man. My names Dennis" "Oh I'm sorry I didn't see you down thei..." "What I object to is the ...." "Hang on, does Monty Python mean anything to you?" "Why yes it does actually" Cuthbert torched him and the other peasants with his Concussion Rifle. "Phew, that was close" He went on and came to the wide open gates of Drycas. There was a man outside selling beer. "I don't want any" He said iritably "Didn't you read Quest for the Wookie Ale? All Fluff characters drink Beer." "Well ok, but have you got a straw?" And our brave hero proceeded on into the Vaults, searching for honour, glory, munchkinised weapons, a straw and above all.... a plot. Matt Francis rkf@globalnet.co.uk Return-path: Received: from listmail.aol.com (listmail.aol.com) by DRYCAS.CLUB.CC.CMU.EDU (PMDF V5.0-5 #7763) id <01IB6NQBVLB890MT0L@DRYCAS.CLUB.CC.CMU.EDU> for JAE@DRYCAS.CLUB.CC.CMU.EDU; Mon, 28 Oct 1996 17:54:21 -0400 (EDT) Received: from LISTSERV.AOL.COM by listmail.aol.com (LSMTP for Windows NT v1.0a) with SMTP id EB488330 ; Mon, 28 Oct 1996 07:23:30 -0500 Received: from LISTSERV.AOL.COM by LISTSERV.AOL.COM (LISTSERV-TCP/IP release 1.8c) with spool id 67516 for SW-RPG@LISTSERV.AOL.COM; Mon, 28 Oct 1996 07:14:27 -0500 Received: from bunyip.cc.uq.oz.au (bunyip.cc.uq.oz.au [130.102.2.1]) by listserv.aol.com (8.6.12/8.6.12) with ESMTP id HAA12222 for ; Mon, 28 Oct 1996 07:14:24 -0500 Received: from byss (zzjames.slip.cc.uq.oz.au [130.102.218.34]) by bunyip.cc.uq.oz.au (8.7.6/8.7.3) with SMTP id DAA02518 for ; Mon, 28 Oct 1996 03:36:32 +1000 Date: Mon, 28 Oct 1996 15:40:09 -0800 From: James A Subject: FLUFF: The Eagle Has Landed Sender: Star Wars Role Playing Game Discussion Group X-Sender: zzjames@dingo.cc.uq.edu.au To: SW-RPG@LISTSERV.AOL.COM Reply-to: James A Message-id: <1.5.4.32.19961028234009.006a48a4@dingo.cc.uq.edu.au> MIME-version: 1.0 X-Mailer: Windows Eudora Light Version 1.5.4 (32) Content-type: text/plain; charset="us-ascii" Content-transfer-encoding: 7BIT KKKKAAAAAATTTTHHHHHUUUUUMMMMMPPPPP A green flaming mass hit the ground.... It hit it hard.... Very hard.... As the dust began to settle, all that a casual observer (casual? in a FLUFF??? You gotta be kidding) could see was a hole. A deep, round, slimy hole. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Time passed. Some more time passed. Time bid two no trumps... ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ From the hole thrust a hand. A large, green, warty hand. Another hand soon joined that first one. After a few minuites conversing, the two hands decided they should do something about getting the rest of this body out of the hole. Working together they provided sufficient leverage to haul the rest of the body out of the pit. Rogrog had landed. Opening his eyes, he almost wished he hadn't. Strewn around him were the remains of many things. Prominent amongst these were the bodies. Of Dark Homers...of Dark Zima...of DARM SPAM!!!!! "NNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOO" howled Rogrog. Someone was killing Dark Homers...Someone was killing Dark Zima...Someone was killing Dark Spam...That someone wasn't him!!! Rogrog took a step foreward, and immediatly fell over. Why was the planet spinning (well..more than a planet usually does ok?). Straining hard, he began to remember. First it was a see-through ship. The one with that stunned pinky guy. Then it was that Death Star. It had been a long time since Rogrog's head had sufferred such abuse. Reaching for his Utility Belt, he grabbed his packet of extra-strength, non-asprin C'Baoths... ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Cut to commercial ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Mad clone Jedi MAster walks in..turns to camera one. "Ever had one of those days where you just can't keep your mind on the job?" Turns away from camera, force-lightnings Camera One, turns to camera two. "You know, can't concerntrate on co-ordinating Imperial Fleets, guiding cloaked vessels and posessing Imperial Generals all at the same time?" Turns away from Camera Two, force-lightnings Camera Two, turns to Camera Three. "Well, I've got the solution for you" Reaches into pocket, pulls out bottle. "This is it. New Improved C'Baoths. The only gauranteed non-asprin, gel-coated, non-laxative pain-killers that are guaranteed to kill any pain in your head." Turns away from Camera Three, Camera Three starts to run away, control-minds Camera Three. Smiles at Camera Three. "How you ask? Easy. They don't leave you with any mind to feel pain with....." Cackles insanely...Force-lightnings Camera Three. Screen goes black. Voice-over begins "C'Baoths, guaranteed pain-killers, now imbued with the Dark Side of the Force. Ask for them everywhere..." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Cut From Commercial ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Quaffing two tablets to no affect (you can't harm what you don't have), Rogrog began to sniff the air. The was still Spam here, Spam that was still alive. Jumping to a conclusing only possible due to the power of the FLUFF, Rogrog deducted that this Spam would eventually draw to it whatever was killing everything else on this planet. Like a rampant glacier, Rogrog began to run. There was something else out there. Something that was killing Rogrog's dinner. And whatever it was, Rogrog desperatly wanted to explain a few facts to it.... James A ---------------------------------------------------- James A Martin s340809@student.uq.edu.au J.A.Martin@mailbox.uq.edu.au http://student.uq.edu.au/~s340809 Star Wars Freak, Phantom Phan, Babylon 5 Addict ---------------------------------------------------- "Perhaps you think you are being treated unfairly?" ---------------------------------------------------- Return-path: Received: from listmail.aol.com (listmail.aol.com) by DRYCAS.CLUB.CC.CMU.EDU (PMDF V5.0-5 #7763) id <01IB6PWJTYGK90MT0L@DRYCAS.CLUB.CC.CMU.EDU> for JAE@DRYCAS.CLUB.CC.CMU.EDU; Mon, 28 Oct 1996 18:38:53 -0400 (EDT) Received: from LISTSERV.AOL.COM by listmail.aol.com (LSMTP for Windows NT v1.0a) with SMTP id 0B36AF40 ; Mon, 28 Oct 1996 17:40:00 -0500 Received: from LISTSERV.AOL.COM by LISTSERV.AOL.COM (LISTSERV-TCP/IP release 1.8c) with spool id 88982 for SW-RPG@LISTSERV.AOL.COM; Mon, 28 Oct 1996 17:30:55 -0500 Received: from service1.cc.uky.edu (service1.uky.edu [128.163.1.168]) by listserv.aol.com (8.6.12/8.6.12) with ESMTP id RAA29440 for ; Mon, 28 Oct 1996 17:30:54 -0500 Received: from ncc.uky.edu ([128.163.17.203]) by service1.cc.uky.edu (8.8.0/8.7.Beta.13) with SMTP id RAA10334 for ; Mon, 28 Oct 1996 17:40:45 -0500 (EST) Date: Mon, 28 Oct 1996 17:40:37 -0500 From: "Eric Lee Cline, Star Wars Junkie" Subject: FLUFF: The Eagle Has Landed Sender: Star Wars Role Playing Game Discussion Group X-Sender: elclin0@pop.uky.edu To: SW-RPG@LISTSERV.AOL.COM Reply-to: "Eric Lee Cline, Star Wars Junkie" Message-id: <2.2.32.19961028224037.0068f770@pop.uky.edu> MIME-version: 1.0 X-Mailer: Windows Eudora Pro Version 2.2 (32) Content-type: text/plain; charset="us-ascii" Content-transfer-encoding: 7BIT At 03:40 PM 10/28/96 -0800, James A wrote: >began to run. There was something else out there. Something that was >killing Rogrog's dinner. And whatever it was, Rogrog desperatly wanted to >explain a few facts to it.... Eildath was alone. The planet was wrecked, debris floated above, and all of his minions were dead. His ESD had hypered home with the rest of his fleet, their mission: to build a new vault, accomplished. The vault was shiny and pretty, but was fairly useless. There seemed to be no way to get the noncanon things in. Eildath guessed it would have to contain new nocanon things. He spun around quickly when he heard the flooping sound of a Spam rearing to attack. He swung his canonsaber, and the beast was dissolved into quarks and photons. His canonsaber shorted out, it's own noncanonity causing it to fade from existence. It was then Eildath saw the green humanoid approaching him, a starved look of hate on his porkly face... Eric Lee Cline, Star Wars Junkie (elclin0@pop.uky.edu) "Hey! You can just kiss my pick hairless..." - Rattrap, Transformers: Beast Wars "Fallen Comrades" Return-path: Received: from listmail.aol.com (listmail.aol.com) by DRYCAS.CLUB.CC.CMU.EDU (PMDF V5.0-5 #7763) id <01IB6R9LILWK90MT0L@DRYCAS.CLUB.CC.CMU.EDU> for JAE@DRYCAS.CLUB.CC.CMU.EDU; Mon, 28 Oct 1996 19:17:38 -0400 (EDT) Received: from LISTSERV.AOL.COM by listmail.aol.com (LSMTP for Windows NT v1.0a) with SMTP id 6C2753E0 ; Mon, 28 Oct 1996 18:18:30 -0500 Received: from LISTSERV.AOL.COM by LISTSERV.AOL.COM (LISTSERV-TCP/IP release 1.8c) with spool id 90028 for SW-RPG@LISTSERV.AOL.COM; Mon, 28 Oct 1996 18:09:26 -0500 Received: from river.it.gvsu.edu (river.it.gvsu.edu [148.61.1.16]) by listserv.aol.com (8.6.12/8.6.12) with ESMTP id SAA02088 for ; Mon, 28 Oct 1996 18:09:24 -0500 Received: from localhost by river.it.gvsu.edu with SMTP (1.39.111.2/16.2) id AA012654718; Mon, 28 Oct 1996 18:18:38 -0500 Date: Mon, 28 Oct 1996 18:18:38 -0500 From: Anya Subject: Fluff Sender: Star Wars Role Playing Game Discussion Group To: SW-RPG@LISTSERV.AOL.COM Reply-to: Anya Message-id: MIME-version: 1.0 Content-type: TEXT/PLAIN; charset=US-ASCII Content-transfer-encoding: 7BIT Anya gasped as she revirted to her non-template self. "I never want that to happen again!" she yelled at Cathy. "Hey! It's not my fault! And I want to talk to you about your having your own life again, and..." "Whatever..." Anya tuned out her player, and went back to what she was doing. "Now let's see if I can make it to Drycas before this fluff is over." Freaks of the World Unite! [Http://www2.gvsu.edu/~ducharmc] (Squib page) Return-path: Received: from listmail.aol.com (listmail.aol.com) by DRYCAS.CLUB.CC.CMU.EDU (PMDF V5.0-5 #7763) id <01IB706VU39Y90MT0L@DRYCAS.CLUB.CC.CMU.EDU> for JAE@DRYCAS.CLUB.CC.CMU.EDU; Mon, 28 Oct 1996 23:32:44 -0400 (EDT) Received: from LISTSERV.AOL.COM by listmail.aol.com (LSMTP for Windows NT v1.0a) with SMTP id 19928A40 ; Mon, 28 Oct 1996 22:33:54 -0500 Received: from LISTSERV.AOL.COM by LISTSERV.AOL.COM (LISTSERV-TCP/IP release 1.8c) with spool id 98057 for SW-RPG@LISTSERV.AOL.COM; Mon, 28 Oct 1996 22:24:47 -0500 Received: from aldus.northnet.org (aldus.northnet.org [198.175.11.2]) by listserv.aol.com (8.6.12/8.6.12) with SMTP id WAA20622 for ; Mon, 28 Oct 1996 22:24:46 -0500 Received: (qmail-queue invoked by uid 0); Tue, 29 Oct 1996 03:35:08 +0000 Received: from ppp-11.canton.northnet.org (HELO The?Beast) (205.232.94.57) by aldus.northnet.org with SMTP; Tue, 29 Oct 1996 03:35:07 +0000 Date: Mon, 28 Oct 1996 22:24:46 -0500 From: Chris or Allison Koch Subject: Re: FLUFF: The Eagle Has Landed Sender: Star Wars Role Playing Game Discussion Group X-Sender: koch@northnet.org To: SW-RPG@LISTSERV.AOL.COM Reply-to: Chris or Allison Koch Message-id: <199610290324.WAA20622@listserv.aol.com> MIME-version: 1.0 X-Mailer: Windows Eudora Light Version 1.5.2 Content-type: text/plain; charset="us-ascii" Content-transfer-encoding: 7BIT >It was then Eildath saw the green humanoid approaching him, a starved look >of hate on his porkly face... It was then that the Forsaken II landed. ON the gammorrean. "E!", Minos yelled, as he bounded down the ship's exit ramp. "By the Dark Side!" thought Eildath. "Not him again!" But it was him again. And he had brought friends. "But it is him again," said Damian, "and he's brought friends." "Huh?" said Eildath, startled. "Oh sorry," Damian replied, "not used to having your mind read?" "And just who the smeg are you?" asked the Dark master of the New Imperium. "Damian Yor, freelance Baadu Knight. And yes, I do do barmitzvahs(sp?)." "Uh-huh, a baadu. Well, at least you're not a light-sider. And who might the large man with the force pike be?" "Who me?" piped in Qel. "I'm Qel Sol. I used to be a pirate y'know, but now I'm reformed. I'm not anywhere NEAR as violent as I used to be. Really!" Just then, a ravenous Sith Homer came out of nowhere, and charged directly toward Qel. Qel twitched. The Sith Homer came ever closer. Qel's left eyeball began to bulge. The Sith Homer closed in. The veins began to pop out of Qel's neck and forehead. Then, like a Vornskyr on acid, Qel lept into action. "DIE YOU BASTARD, DIIEEEEEEEEE!!!!!", Qel screamed, as he drove his force pike through the Sith Homer's head. He then slid his pike out of the cartoon's cranium, and began to pummel the fat creature's corpse mercilessly with it, screaming "DIE! DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIIIIEEEEEEEEE!!!!!" until, finally, there was nothing left to pummel. He then walked up to Eildath, wiped his pike off on his cloak, and resumed the conversation. "So, as I was saying," continued Qel, "I was a pirate, until a ran into these guys. How I met them is a story within itself. And ever since I met them, I've had this kinda warm and fuzzy feeling inside y'know? The kind you get when you know you're doing good, when you know you just smashed that skull, or shattered that spine, or popped that pancreas, and it was for the good of all mankind. Y'know what I mean?" "I think we'll get along juuuuuuuust fine." replied Eildath. "You're just lucky this isn't my best cloak." "OK, now that introductions are through with," said Minos, "let's get back to our purpose. Shall we?" "Yes, let's!" replied Damian, igniting his lightsaber. And thusly, they descended into the tunnels, down, down, and yet further down, and then down a little more, and then down some more, because they really didn't feel like going up, until the reached the torn-open vaults. "We have reached the Vaults of Drycas!" proclaimed Minos, in his best King Arthur. "Our quest, is near an end. Now let's go kick some newbie ass!" And thusly, they entered the vaults. ************************************************************************ *Minos Hurloon, Defender of Dominia,*But I remember a message * *Invisivle fist of GoD, *in a demon's hand, * *SW-RPGer extrordinaire *"Dread the passage of Jesus * *koch@northnet.org *for he does not return."-Nick Cave* ************************************************************************ Return-path: Received: from listmail.aol.com (listmail.aol.com) by DRYCAS.CLUB.CC.CMU.EDU (PMDF V5.0-5 #7763) id <01IB77DXYI2Y90MT0L@DRYCAS.CLUB.CC.CMU.EDU> for JAE@DRYCAS.CLUB.CC.CMU.EDU; Tue, 29 Oct 1996 02:59:14 -0400 (EDT) Received: from LISTSERV.AOL.COM by listmail.aol.com (LSMTP for Windows NT v1.0a) with SMTP id F3AC0FF0 ; Tue, 29 Oct 1996 02:00:25 -0500 Received: from LISTSERV.AOL.COM by LISTSERV.AOL.COM (LISTSERV-TCP/IP release 1.8c) with spool id 103821 for SW-RPG@LISTSERV.AOL.COM; Tue, 29 Oct 1996 01:51:20 -0500 Received: from river.it.gvsu.edu (river.it.gvsu.edu [148.61.1.16]) by listserv.aol.com (8.6.12/8.6.12) with ESMTP id BAA03461 for ; Tue, 29 Oct 1996 01:51:17 -0500 Received: from localhost by river.it.gvsu.edu with SMTP (1.39.111.2/16.2) id AA207102443; Tue, 29 Oct 1996 02:00:43 -0500 Date: Tue, 29 Oct 1996 02:00:42 -0500 From: Anya Subject: Fluff: Drycas at last! Sender: Star Wars Role Playing Game Discussion Group To: SW-RPG@LISTSERV.AOL.COM Reply-to: Anya Message-id: MIME-version: 1.0 Content-type: TEXT/PLAIN; charset=US-ASCII Content-transfer-encoding: 7BIT Anya finally lands oon Drycas and looks around. "Gee this place is a dump! What was I looking for again? Oh, yes... fluff! Heh. So, which side shall I take? The newbie (shudder) or that other one?" Anya pondered this quetion for a while "Hmmm... maybe I could put it off till later. Yeah, that's whazt I'll do! Mwa ha ha!" And she rushes forward towards the faults blasting and dodging random spam and dark homers "Die, die, die! ... putz." Freaks of the World Unite! [Http://www2.gvsu.edu/~ducharmc] (Squib page) Return-path: Received: from listmail.aol.com (listmail.aol.com) by DRYCAS.CLUB.CC.CMU.EDU (PMDF V5.0-5 #7763) id <01IB7JVDJ1MS8WVYJU@DRYCAS.CLUB.CC.CMU.EDU> for JAE@DRYCAS.CLUB.CC.CMU.EDU; Tue, 29 Oct 1996 08:56:52 -0400 (EDT) Received: from LISTSERV.AOL.COM by listmail.aol.com (LSMTP for Windows NT v1.0a) with SMTP id F6D752E0 ; Tue, 29 Oct 1996 08:55:42 -0500 Received: from LISTSERV.AOL.COM by LISTSERV.AOL.COM (LISTSERV-TCP/IP release 1.8c) with spool id 109061 for SW-RPG@LISTSERV.AOL.COM; Tue, 29 Oct 1996 08:46:34 -0500 Received: from service1.cc.uky.edu (service1.uky.edu [128.163.1.168]) by listserv.aol.com (8.6.12/8.6.12) with ESMTP id IAA15490 for ; Tue, 29 Oct 1996 08:46:33 -0500 Received: from ncc.uky.edu ([128.163.17.249]) by service1.cc.uky.edu (8.8.0/8.7.Beta.13) with SMTP id IAA25623; Tue, 29 Oct 1996 08:56:24 -0500 (EST) Date: Tue, 29 Oct 1996 08:56:21 -0500 From: "Eric Lee Cline, Star Wars Junkie" Subject: Re: FLUFF: The Eagle Has Landed Sender: Star Wars Role Playing Game Discussion Group X-Sender: elclin0@pop.uky.edu To: SW-RPG@LISTSERV.AOL.COM Reply-to: "Eric Lee Cline, Star Wars Junkie" Message-id: <2.2.32.19961029135621.0069b1cc@pop.uky.edu> MIME-version: 1.0 X-Mailer: Windows Eudora Pro Version 2.2 (32) Content-type: text/plain; charset="us-ascii" Content-transfer-encoding: 7BIT Comments: To: Chris or Allison Koch >"We have reached the Vaults of Drycas!" proclaimed Minos, in his best King >Arthur. "Our quest, is near an end. Now let's go kick some newbie ass!" >And thusly, they entered the vaults. Eildath looked at the small group. "I hate to mention this, but I've been here already." "What?" "Notice that this is a new vault, empty on the inside." "Well, can't we still kick newbie ass?" "If they come down here. We'll just set up a Scooby Doo trap to catch them, then lock them in the vault..." *** Admiral Qel-Droma returned home to the Darkhold reach. It was good to be back... *** Rogrog the Gammorean, angry beyond belief, ate the ship that landed on him before proceeding onward. Eric Lee Cline, Star Wars Junkie (elclin0@pop.uky.edu) "Ernest Hemingway once wrote, 'The world is a fine place, and worth fighting for.' I agree with the second part." - Lieutenant William Somerset (Morgan Freeman), Se7en Return-path: Received: from listmail.aol.com (listmail.aol.com) by DRYCAS.CLUB.CC.CMU.EDU (PMDF V5.0-5 #7763) id <01IB7YCVG3QUHXIRHF@DRYCAS.CLUB.CC.CMU.EDU> for JAE@DRYCAS.CLUB.CC.CMU.EDU; Tue, 29 Oct 1996 15:51:09 -0400 (EDT) Received: from LISTSERV.AOL.COM by listmail.aol.com (LSMTP for Windows NT v1.0a) with SMTP id 79194F20 ; Tue, 29 Oct 1996 14:50:05 -0500 Received: from LISTSERV.AOL.COM by LISTSERV.AOL.COM (LISTSERV-TCP/IP release 1.8c) with spool id 108756 for SW-RPG@LISTSERV.AOL.COM; Tue, 29 Oct 1996 14:40:57 -0500 Received: from server.sid.cquest.utoronto.ca (server.sid.cquest.utoronto.ca [192.82.128.1]) by listserv.aol.com (8.6.12/8.6.12) with SMTP id OAA09172 for ; Tue, 29 Oct 1996 14:40:54 -0500 Received: from localhost by server.sid.cquest.utoronto.ca with SMTP id <4501>; Tue, 29 Oct 1996 14:50:42 -0500 Date: Tue, 29 Oct 1996 14:50:38 -0500 From: MICHAEL SCHLOSS Subject: FLUFF: Return of the ST Sender: Star Wars Role Playing Game Discussion Group To: SW-RPG@LISTSERV.AOL.COM Reply-to: MICHAEL SCHLOSS Message-id: MIME-version: 1.0 Content-type: TEXT/PLAIN; charset=US-ASCII Content-transfer-encoding: 7BIT "WHAT DO YOU MEAN, 'HYPERSPACE DRIVE MALFUNCTION'?!?!??!?" The huge wookie Lon Bolo yelled while pacing back and forth. "WRAWRRRRRRRRF!" replied Chewsmacka, the famed correlian smuggler, pointing at the prissy protocol droid, P3-C0. "I think what Mr. Chewsmacka is trying to say is that the Navicomputer malfunctioned and we're now in... THE FORBIDDEN BITS OF THE GALAXY!!!!!!!" "I know that, you silly nit!" (shakes his head, then rips one of P3-CO's arms off" "So what are we going to do now?" said no one in particular. "We're going to die." "What?!?" "Look out the window" And there it was. 2 kilometers of rediculously aerodynamic space ship. The most hated ship in the galaxy. The Galaxy class starship NCC-1701D.... THE USS ENTERPRISE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! "NNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!" They all screamed in unison. And then in Italian "QUICK, CHEWY, PUNCH IT!!! GET US OUT OF HERE BEFORE THE MIGHTY EMPRESS JAE, blessed be she, US back to the synthStone ages!!!!!!" Return-path: Received: from listmail.aol.com (listmail.aol.com) by DRYCAS.CLUB.CC.CMU.EDU (PMDF V5.0-5 #7763) id <01IB85R53YPE8WVYJU@DRYCAS.CLUB.CC.CMU.EDU> for JAE@DRYCAS.CLUB.CC.CMU.EDU; Tue, 29 Oct 1996 19:23:23 -0400 (EDT) Received: from LISTSERV.AOL.COM by listmail.aol.com (LSMTP for Windows NT v1.0a) with SMTP id 85B07710 ; Tue, 29 Oct 1996 19:22:27 -0500 Received: from LISTSERV.AOL.COM by LISTSERV.AOL.COM (LISTSERV-TCP/IP release 1.8c) with spool id 125604 for SW-RPG@LISTSERV.AOL.COM; Tue, 29 Oct 1996 19:13:18 -0500 Received: from service1.cc.uky.edu (service1.uky.edu [128.163.1.168]) by listserv.aol.com (8.6.12/8.6.12) with ESMTP id TAA15775 for ; Tue, 29 Oct 1996 19:13:17 -0500 Received: from ncc.uky.edu ([128.163.17.203]) by service1.cc.uky.edu (8.8.0/8.7.Beta.13) with SMTP id TAA24082 for ; Tue, 29 Oct 1996 19:23:11 -0500 (EST) Date: Tue, 29 Oct 1996 19:23:09 -0500 From: "Eric Lee Cline, Star Wars Junkie" Subject: FLUFF: Eildath's Escape Sender: Star Wars Role Playing Game Discussion Group X-Sender: elclin0@pop.uky.edu To: SW-RPG@LISTSERV.AOL.COM Reply-to: "Eric Lee Cline, Star Wars Junkie" Message-id: <2.2.32.19961030002309.006bec18@pop.uky.edu> MIME-version: 1.0 X-Mailer: Windows Eudora Pro Version 2.2 (32) Content-type: text/plain; charset="us-ascii" Content-transfer-encoding: 7BIT Eildath watched as Minos zoomed toward the ravenous Gamorrean, and his allies mulled around the new vault. "Fellows, I believe that you should let Minos know, when he returns, that is, that the Empress no longer resides here. She is thought to be somewhere in the Aaooll Cluster..." And with that, Eildath slipped into the Spamica floor of the passageway and vanished. The Dark Lord of the Sith, acutely aware that his own skills were useless in this non-canon world, slipped quietly through the Spamstone walls and into the Empress's Spam-free former throneroom. He knew that the Empress hated Spam, and sent her a message, warning her of the new influx of Spam in the Drycas system. Eildath was a Dark Sider, after all. He then coporeally translocated himself to the surface, and created a new Assault TIE, and took to the skies, heading for Darkhold... his job, to create a new vault, was done, and he was leaving this fluff. <> Sorry, but I've decided to leave the fluff. Eildath will not be returning in this one, but he will return in the future. Eric Lee Cline, Star Wars Junkie (elclin0@pop.uky.edu) "Ernest Hemingway once wrote, 'The world is a fine place, and worth fighting for.' I agree with the second part." - Lieutenant William Somerset (Morgan Freeman), Se7en Return-path: Received: from listmail.aol.com (listmail.aol.com) by DRYCAS.CLUB.CC.CMU.EDU (PMDF V5.0-5 #7763) id <01IB8OU3V0WW8WVYJU@DRYCAS.CLUB.CC.CMU.EDU> for JAE@DRYCAS.CLUB.CC.CMU.EDU; Wed, 30 Oct 1996 04:29:24 -0400 (EDT) Received: from LISTSERV.AOL.COM by listmail.aol.com (LSMTP for Windows NT v1.0a) with SMTP id CD029B10 ; Wed, 30 Oct 1996 04:28:29 -0500 Received: from LISTSERV.AOL.COM by LISTSERV.AOL.COM (LISTSERV-TCP/IP release 1.8c) with spool id 141902 for SW-RPG@LISTSERV.AOL.COM; Wed, 30 Oct 1996 04:19:20 -0500 Received: from bunyip.cc.uq.oz.au (bunyip.cc.uq.oz.au [130.102.2.1]) by listserv.aol.com (8.6.12/8.6.12) with ESMTP id EAA21956 for ; Wed, 30 Oct 1996 04:19:17 -0500 Received: from byss (zzjames.slip.cc.uq.oz.au [130.102.218.34]) by bunyip.cc.uq.oz.au (8.7.6/8.7.3) with SMTP id TAA01005 for ; Wed, 30 Oct 1996 19:29:10 +1000 Date: Wed, 30 Oct 1996 19:15:53 -0800 From: James A Subject: FLUFF:LURKERS (They Bite) Sender: Star Wars Role Playing Game Discussion Group X-Sender: zzjames@dingo.cc.uq.edu.au To: SW-RPG@LISTSERV.AOL.COM Reply-to: James A Message-id: <1.5.4.32.19961031031553.00681a00@dingo.cc.uq.edu.au> MIME-version: 1.0 X-Mailer: Windows Eudora Light Version 1.5.4 (32) Content-type: text/plain; charset="us-ascii" Content-transfer-encoding: 7BIT At 08:56 AM 10/29/96 -0500, Eric Lee Cline, Star Wars Junkie wrote: >Rogrog the Gammorean, angry beyond belief, ate the ship that landed on him >before proceeding onward. > Descending into the bowls of Drycas, Rogrog wondered what had posessed him to abandon his previous status on this list. Neither a Newbie, nor a Veteran, Rogrog was the most common yet difficult of poeple to find. He was a Lurker. "What" Rogrog pondered "had posessed me to abandon this status? Why am I bothering myself with this calamity?" As if in answer, his immense stomach let out a huge rumble. The answer was of course simple. He wanted nothing to do with aiding the newbies in their quest to ulock the powers of the vaults, nor did he want to aid the veterans in their defence. All Rogrog wanted was a good mean of SPAM and Zima. Yet that was always being denied to him. Instead he was forced to constantly eat starships. Why? Proceeding further into the palace, Rogrog felt that there was something wrong with this place. The corridors were clean. They were well lit. And most of all they were devoid of Spam, Zima and Dark Homers. It then struck him. There weren't the Vaults of Drycas. They of course were, but they were also something else. IT was as if they had been recreated. Rounding a corner, Rogrog came upon the first sign of life he had seen since that spaceship parked on him. Standing in the distance was a woman. She was about 6 foot 6, wearing a dress and carrying a tray of assorted items. Two things about her stood out. One, she was in posession of a moustache, and two she was bellowing out the words "ALBATROSS" again and again. Another man in a suit approached her "Two choc ices please" "Haven't got any choc ices; just got this albatross...." James A ---------------------------------------------------- James A Martin s340809@student.uq.edu.au J.A.Martin@mailbox.uq.edu.au http://student.uq.edu.au/~s340809 Star Wars Freak, Phantom Phan, Babylon 5 Addict ---------------------------------------------------- "Perhaps you think you are being treated unfairly?" ---------------------------------------------------- Return-path: Received: from listmail.aol.com (listmail.aol.com) by DRYCAS.CLUB.CC.CMU.EDU (PMDF V5.0-5 #7763) id <01IBAN0SINVY90MT0L@DRYCAS.CLUB.CC.CMU.EDU> for JAE@DRYCAS.CLUB.CC.CMU.EDU; Thu, 31 Oct 1996 13:59:09 -0400 (EDT) Received: from LISTSERV.AOL.COM by listmail.aol.com (LSMTP for Windows NT v1.0a) with SMTP id 7F4EC350 ; Thu, 31 Oct 1996 13:00:31 -0500 Received: from LISTSERV.AOL.COM by LISTSERV.AOL.COM (LISTSERV-TCP/IP release 1.8c) with spool id 188744 for SW-RPG@LISTSERV.AOL.COM; Thu, 31 Oct 1996 12:51:16 -0500 Received: from gollum.globalnet.co.uk (gollum.globalnet.co.uk [194.126.80.109]) by listserv.aol.com (8.6.12/8.6.12) with ESMTP id MAA16301 for ; Thu, 31 Oct 1996 12:51:13 -0500 Received: from client844e.globalnet.co.uk (client844e.globalnet.co.uk [194.126.84.78]) by gollum.globalnet.co.uk (8.6.12/8.6.9) with SMTP id SAA21188 for ; Thu, 31 Oct 1996 18:06:30 +0000 (GMT) Date: Thu, 31 Oct 1996 18:06:30 +0000 (GMT) From: R K Francis Subject: FLUFF: Divine Intervention Sender: Star Wars Role Playing Game Discussion Group X-Sender: rkf@mail.globalnet.co.uk To: SW-RPG@LISTSERV.AOL.COM Reply-to: R K Francis Message-id: <199610311806.SAA21188@gollum.globalnet.co.uk> MIME-version: 1.0 X-Mailer: Windows Eudora Light Version 1.5.2 Content-type: text/plain; charset="us-ascii" Content-transfer-encoding: 7BIT Cuthbert Fett strode down one of the long, dark corridors in the Vaults of Drycas. He was angry; there were no bounties, spam, zima, a plot and above all: He hadn't been mentioned in the opening sequence! There was a lever on the wall marked 'lights'. He pulled it. That was a mistake. An eerie cackling sounded from down the corridor. Fett armed his weapons wondering what it could be, there was something moving fast down the corridor. His scanner bleeped and he checked the viewscreen. It read as four life-forms moving fast, now eight, now sixteen. "Oh my God," he breathed. "It's a chain letter! RUN AWAY!" It was too late, it swarmed out of the tunnel screaming and wailing: "Let me multiply! Let me multiply!" "No you foul abomination!" "Then you will be cursed with bad luck, MUHAHAHAHA!" There was a pause. "You mean baddER luck." The conversation went no further as suddenly a large power droid fell on the chain letter and destroyed it. It turned to Cuthbert. "GONK" Now thats divine intervention Matt Francis rkf@globalnet.com Return-path: Received: from listmail.aol.com (listmail.aol.com) by DRYCAS.CLUB.CC.CMU.EDU (PMDF V5.0-5 #7763) id <01IBEZLRV24O90MT0L@DRYCAS.CLUB.CC.CMU.EDU> for JAE@DRYCAS.CLUB.CC.CMU.EDU; Sun, 03 Nov 1996 16:42:49 -0400 (EDT) Received: from LISTSERV.AOL.COM by listmail.aol.com (LSMTP for Windows NT v1.0a) with SMTP id DBC8A9B0 ; Sun, 03 Nov 1996 15:44:11 -0500 Received: from LISTSERV.AOL.COM by LISTSERV.AOL.COM (LISTSERV-TCP/IP release 1.8c) with spool id 292996 for SW-RPG@LISTSERV.AOL.COM; Sun, 03 Nov 1996 15:34:45 -0500 Received: from its.wlkp.ternet.pl (its.wlkp.ternet.pl [195.116.11.2]) by listserv.aol.com (8.6.12/8.6.12) with ESMTP id PAA24506 for ; Sun, 03 Nov 1996 15:34:38 -0500 Received: from mod3.wlkp.ternet.pl (mod3 [195.116.11.13]) by its.wlkp.ternet.pl (8.6.12/8.6.9) with SMTP id VAA12805 for ; Sun, 03 Nov 1996 21:44:48 +0100 Date: Sun, 03 Nov 1996 21:46:13 +0000 From: "Mike (Leszek Karlik)" Subject: FLUFF: The end. Or so we hope. Sender: Star Wars Role Playing Game Discussion Group To: SW-RPG@LISTSERV.AOL.COM Reply-to: "Mike (Leszek Karlik)" Message-id: <199611032044.VAA12805@its.wlkp.ternet.pl> X-Mailer: Pegasus Mail for Windows (v2.23) Content-transfer-encoding: 7BIT Priority: normal Comments: Authenticated sender is Well, I started it and I'll finish it (I hope) > Eildath watched as Minos zoomed toward the ravenous Gamorrean, and his > allies mulled around the new vault. > > "Fellows, I believe that you should let Minos know, when he returns, > that is, that the Empress no longer resides here. She is thought to > be somewhere in the Aaooll Cluster..." The ultra-tuned senses of Les-thalas heard Elidaith with no difficulty. After all, with 40D Perception, making a Heroic 45+ roll was no problem... The problem was - what was he doing here? The Aaooll Cluster was on the other side of the galaxy! Hmm... Les'thalas was sure he forgot about something... Ah, yes! The Corporeal Translocation! He made all necessary rolls and sped towards the Aaooll Cluster. This took him some time, but due to his insanely high rolls (well, not really a problem with all force skills at 60D+) he materialized directly before a large, dark throne. Les'thalas pulls a small hold-out blaster from his pocket and fires it at the dark and lithe figure sitting in the throne. Dark Lady Jae jumps from the throne, and in one inhumanly graceful move ingites her dark lightsaber and parries Starfighter-scale 30D damage blaster bolt shot from the hold-out blaster... Les'thalas ignites his own lighstaber and parries the bolt. A beautiful backhand! Empress parries the bolt and sends it into left corner of Les'thalas' half! Les'thalas throws himself and manages to deflect bolt with the tip of his lightsaber! What a match! Dark Lady deflects the bolt with ease and sends it into the right corner. Les'thalas TK's himself into the path of bolt and deflects it! This was a close one! Empress TK's her lighstaber into the way of the bolt and sends it straight at the tumbling Les'thalas, who with a Heroic lightsaber stroke parries it back... E mpress repeats her move, and this time Les'thalas misses the bolt. He is hit squarely in the chest! But he manages to Absorb/dissipate it, even with a die cap for scale-difference! What a feat! "You will not gain control of this Mail Server, newbie" - the dark, menacing voice of Dark Lady freezes the entire room. "We will see that!" - Les'thalas whips out a big bazooka-like weapon and fires a big energy ball at Dark and Lithe Empress Jae. And she TK's the ball to stop. Les'thalas makes a bewildered face, and... We are sorry for the interruption, but the writer of this Fluff was not cinematic enugh. We will resume our regularly scheduled Fluffing when we will hire another writer... [Cut to: Aaooll Cluster] [We see a fleet of giant Xtra-Bg-class Star Destroyer. They look a little bit like space trimarans made of Eclipse-class SD's. ] [Fade in: We see Steven Seagal - Hkruukhr - talking with big, 2 meters tall cyborged Nogris in Sovereign-Protector armor and with two lighsabers at the belt] Hkruukhr: Gentelmen, this is Aaooll Cluster. We are about to wipe it out. The only planet left will be the Mail Server. 1st Borged Noghri Sovereign Protector: PlanetBlasta cannons prepared! 2nd BNSP: BPS (Big Planet Smasher) Torpedoes prepared! Hkruukhr: Fire! [Slo-mo: Fleet of XB-class SD's firing various big weapons.] Sound FX: WHizz, WHizz, KABOOM, PGOING, GONK! [Yes, we know sound doesn't carry in vacuum. What are you gonna do to us?] [Cut to: Aaooll Cluster disappears. There's only one small planet left] 1st NNSP: We have established datalink with Great Master, Lord of Newbies, Master of Dark, Light and Purple aspects of the Force, Les'thalas' pocket HoloNet transceiver. Hkruukhr: Begin secure transmision. [Cut to: Mail Server Throne room. A big, cinematic fight between Les'thalas and Empress] Pocket HoloNet Transceiver: pip-pip-pip-pip-pip! Les'thalas: Excuse me, but I have to check my pager. Empress: Be my guest. [They both stop. Les'thalas pulls a small cube from his pocket. The cube emits a big 3D hologram, in full color (nothing like inferior R2-D2 holograms).] Hkruukhr: Our fleet wiped the Aaooll Cluster, localizing the planet of Mail Server. We are ready to invade at the moment's notice... [He is interrupted when dark saber of Empress cuts the transceiver in two. Dainty, yet bristling with power silhouette of Dark Lady raises above the floor crackling with Force lightning...] Empress: Wiped Aaooll Cluster!?! Cyborged Noghri Sovereign Protectors as guards!?! Stats so high you can actually fight with me?!? [Les'thalas starts to cower in fear. The voice of Empress booms through the entire halls of Mail Server.] Empress: I THINK I KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON!!! SHOW ME YOUR CHARACTER SHEET!!!! Les'thalas: Ummm.... I don't have it? Empress: Don't try to pull this one on me! [She telekinetically pulls about 20 character sheets from Les'thalas' various pockets and secret compartments in his robes] Empress: Let's see... your stats are almost unreadable because of constant erasing and rewriting. Now, how long have you played, young boy?!? Les'thalas: Ummm... About 10 years... Empress: I can read your mind! Don't lie to me! Les'thalas: Okay, okay, I admit - it was only 4 years... Empress: That would give 123 CP's per session, assuming you play 4 times a week. Now how would you explain that?! [Les'thalas drops his lighstaber and starts crying] Les'thalas: Sniff... I... I... I just wanted... sniff... to have some fun... I hat to GM sessions each week.... I... I wanted to play! Empress: Calm down. Now, stop that! Have you done your homework?! Les'thalas: Sniff... I was about to finish it... Empress: Now go to your room, finish your homework, wash yourself and go to sleep! NOW! Don't forget you're going to school tomorrow morning! Les'thalas: Sniff... Yes, right away... [Limps slowly towards his room, back hunched] [Cut to: Starry sky] Voiceover: And thus finished the infamous coup of newbie. But other fluffsters, who haven't found the plot yet - will they realize th.... At this moment, voiceover guy is squashed by a giant power droid. GONK! Mike (Leszek Karlik - bear@wlkp.ternet.pl) Leslie Grant - Shadowrunner unlimited, combat specialist. Return-path: Received: from listmail.aol.com (listmail.aol.com) by DRYCAS.CLUB.CC.CMU.EDU (PMDF V5.0-5 #7763) id <01IBFFWM2EO48WVYJU@DRYCAS.CLUB.CC.CMU.EDU> for JAE@DRYCAS.CLUB.CC.CMU.EDU; Mon, 04 Nov 1996 00:29:40 -0400 (EDT) Received: from LISTSERV.AOL.COM by listmail.aol.com (LSMTP for Windows NT v1.0a) with SMTP id 235DAA70 ; Mon, 04 Nov 1996 00:28:45 -0500 Received: from LISTSERV.AOL.COM by LISTSERV.AOL.COM (LISTSERV-TCP/IP release 1.8c) with spool id 309118 for SW-RPG@LISTSERV.AOL.COM; Mon, 04 Nov 1996 00:19:19 -0500 Received: from aldus.northnet.org (aldus.northnet.org [198.175.11.2]) by listserv.aol.com (8.6.12/8.6.12) with SMTP id AAA28940 for ; Mon, 04 Nov 1996 00:18:41 -0500 Received: (qmail-queue invoked by uid 0); Mon, 04 Nov 1996 05:29:30 +0000 Received: from ppp-11.canton.northnet.org (HELO the-beast) (205.232.94.57) by aldus.northnet.org with SMTP; Mon, 04 Nov 1996 05:29:30 +0000 Date: Mon, 04 Nov 1996 00:29:42 -0500 From: Chris or Allison Koch Subject: FLUFF: The Healing Proccess Sender: Star Wars Role Playing Game Discussion Group X-Sender: koch@northnet.org To: SW-RPG@LISTSERV.AOL.COM Reply-to: Chris or Allison Koch Message-id: <3.0.32.19961104002938.006a9628@northnet.org> MIME-version: 1.0 X-Mailer: Windows Eudora Pro Version 3.0 Demo (32) Content-type: text/plain; charset="us-ascii" Content-transfer-encoding: 7BIT At 09:46 PM 11/3/96 +0000, you wrote: >Voiceover: And thus finished the infamous coup of newbie. But other >fluffsters, who haven't found the plot yet - will they realize th.... > >At this moment, voiceover guy is squashed by a giant power droid. > >GONK! > As Minos was wiping the chunks of Gammorrean brain off of his really $#!$#!^^%!$#%#! big stick, a strange hooded figure appeared. "Who are you?" asked the ridiculously-high-stat bearing Minos. "That is of no concern to you." replied the man, as his hand came to rest upon Minos' shoulder. "This is all....wrong." said the man. Suddenly, Minos felt the power draining out of his body. His stats went from ridiculously inflated, to ludicrously inflated, to overly inflated, to way too high, and then finally, to their original state. "You're--" Minos was cut off. "Yes." said the hooded, bearded man. "I am. And this is my universe. It's time for me to take care of business." and then with a wave of his hand, he was gone. ******************************************************************** Les'thalas hurriedly scribbled away, working at an insane pace to finish his homework, so that he could return to his attempts to dominate the galaxy. "Must...finish...book report." Les'thalas gasped. Then, a hooded figure appeared in front of him. "YOU," bellowed the mysterious figure, "YOU CAUSED ALL OF THIS." "Huh?" said Les'thalas. "YOU, YOUNG MAN, HAVE CAUSED MY UNIVERSE QUITE A BIT OF TROUBLE. AND NOW I'M GOING TO FIX THINGS, STARTING WITH YOU." "Ummm...." Les'thalas was confused. "WATCH, AND YE SHALL LEARN." Suddenly Les'thalas' mind was flooded with images. He could see the entire storyline of the Fluff...but it was running in reverse! He saw as Rogrog coughed up the Forsaken II, as the Vaults of Drycas were refilled and sealed, and finally, his chambers on his ship, the very room where all the chaos began. But he was not there. "IT IS DONE." said the hooded figure. "I HAVE REPAIRED THE TIMESTREAM, AND CORRECTED THINGS. WITHOUT YOU TO BEGIN ALL THE CHAOS, NONE OF THE SEVERELY LUDICROUS HAPPENINGS WILL EVER OCCURED. NOW, YOUNG MAN, YOU ARE TO STAY IN THIS CELL UNTIL YOUR HOMEWORK IS FINSIHED. THEN, IF THE EMPRESS SO DECREES, YOU WILL BE FREED. BUT REMEMBER THIS: THIS IS _MY_ UNIVERSE. TAMPER WITH IT IN SUCH A MANNER AGAIN, AND I'LL WIPE OUT YOUR ENTIRE FAMILY BACK TO THE BEGINNING OF TIME. KAPEESH?" Les'thalas had gone from confused to terrified. Was the dark, hooded, bearded figure who stood before him who he thought he was? Regardless, this was no time to take chances. "Uhh, yessir! I'll never ever try to take over the universe again sir!" "GOOD. OH, AND ONE MORE THING. THERE IS NO PURPLE SIDE OF THE FORCE." With that, the figure vanished, and Les'thalas realized that his mastery of the purple side of the Force was gone. But it was a small price to pay for the second chance he'd been given. ******************************************************************** The Forsaken II sped through hyperspace, carrying its crew towards their crucial destination. "Hey Minos, Damian, heads up!" bellowed Qel, tossing two bottles of Wookie Ale in their general direction. Minos whipped his arm out, snatching the bottle out of midair, while Damian simply floated the bottle telekinetically into his hand. "So," Damian asked, as he used his lightsaber as a makeshift bottle opener, "everything procceeding according to our schedule?" "Yup!" said Minos, as he popped open his bottle. "The citizens of Loro better watch out! Pleasure Planet, here we come!" THE END (THIS TIME WE REALLY MEAN IT) ****************************************************** *Minos Hurloon * But I remember a message, in* *Defender of Dominia * a demon's hand "Dread the * *Invisible fist of GoD * passage of Jesus, for he * *SW-RPGer extrordiare * will not return" -Nick Cave * ****************************************************** Return-path: Received: from listmail.aol.com (listmail.aol.com) by DRYCAS.CLUB.CC.CMU.EDU (PMDF V5.0-5 #7763) id <01IBGGV5UDXMHXIRHF@DRYCAS.CLUB.CC.CMU.EDU> for JAE@DRYCAS.CLUB.CC.CMU.EDU; Mon, 04 Nov 1996 18:07:32 -0400 (EDT) Received: from LISTSERV.AOL.COM by listmail.aol.com (LSMTP for Windows NT v1.0a) with SMTP id 84E65270 ; Mon, 04 Nov 1996 17:06:28 -0500 Received: from LISTSERV.AOL.COM by LISTSERV.AOL.COM (LISTSERV-TCP/IP release 1.8c) with spool id 336861 for SW-RPG@LISTSERV.AOL.COM; Mon, 04 Nov 1996 16:57:02 -0500 Received: from river.it.gvsu.edu (river.it.gvsu.edu [148.61.1.16]) by listserv.aol.com (8.6.12/8.6.12) with ESMTP id QAA13440 for ; Mon, 04 Nov 1996 16:57:01 -0500 Received: from localhost by river.it.gvsu.edu with SMTP (1.39.111.2/16.2) id AA210312361; Mon, 04 Nov 1996 16:19:21 -0500 Date: Mon, 04 Nov 1996 16:19:21 -0500 From: Anya Subject: Fluff: Where the squib ends up Sender: Star Wars Role Playing Game Discussion Group To: SW-RPG@LISTSERV.AOL.COM Reply-to: Anya Message-id: MIME-version: 1.0 Content-type: TEXT/PLAIN; charset=US-ASCII Content-transfer-encoding: 7BIT Anya looked up from her restfull sleep and looked around. For a moment it seemed to her that she should not be here, that she had been somewhere else. Trinan walkes in and smiles at her. "I have some chocolate, hungry?" "For chocoale? Always!" She dismissed her earlier feelings. Where else would she be on her vacation but here, on Skor II, with Trinan. Anything else would be absurd. Freaks of the World Unite! [Http://www2.gvsu.edu/~ducharmc] (Squib page) Return-path: Received: from listmail.aol.com (listmail.aol.com) by DRYCAS.CLUB.CC.CMU.EDU (PMDF V5.0-5 #7763) id <01IBHKCHGF7E8WVYJU@DRYCAS.CLUB.CC.CMU.EDU> for JAE@DRYCAS.CLUB.CC.CMU.EDU; Tue, 05 Nov 1996 12:57:48 -0400 (EDT) Received: from LISTSERV.AOL.COM by listmail.aol.com (LSMTP for Windows NT v1.0a) with SMTP id D12950A0 ; Tue, 05 Nov 1996 12:56:53 -0500 Received: from LISTSERV.AOL.COM by LISTSERV.AOL.COM (LISTSERV-TCP/IP release 1.8c) with spool id 325974 for SW-RPG@LISTSERV.AOL.COM; Tue, 05 Nov 1996 12:47:20 -0500 Received: from gollum.globalnet.co.uk (gollum.globalnet.co.uk [194.126.80.109]) by listserv.aol.com (8.6.12/8.6.12) with ESMTP id MAA04835 for ; Tue, 05 Nov 1996 12:47:10 -0500 Received: from client841b.globalnet.co.uk (client841b.globalnet.co.uk [194.126.84.27]) by gollum.globalnet.co.uk (8.6.12/8.6.9) with SMTP id SAA17231 for ; Tue, 05 Nov 1996 18:06:29 +0000 (GMT) Date: Tue, 05 Nov 1996 18:06:29 +0000 (GMT) From: R K Francis Subject: FLUFF: Most Definately The End Sender: Star Wars Role Playing Game Discussion Group X-Sender: rkf@mail.globalnet.co.uk To: SW-RPG@LISTSERV.AOL.COM Reply-to: R K Francis Message-id: <199611051806.SAA17231@gollum.globalnet.co.uk> MIME-version: 1.0 X-Mailer: Windows Eudora Light Version 1.5.2 Content-type: text/plain; charset="us-ascii" Content-transfer-encoding: 7BIT >At this moment, voiceover guy is squashed by a giant power droid. > >GONK! Hey thats my line! :) > Cuthbert Fett smiled. He had contacted the great bearded one. Now it was time to take his bounty. The bearded one smiled. " YOU IDIOT, YOU WILL BE PUNISHED FOR DARING TO BE A RIP-OFF OF A FAMOUS MOVIE BAD GUY," He signalled behind him and two Mandalorians walk out in full armour. "Cuthbert, how many times have I told you not to pretend to be your brother? I'm so sorry about this great bearded one, he gets it from his brother. Come along young man-dalorian, you are in serious trouble." She takes hold of his ear region and pulls him along. "Ow mum, you spoil everything, I was only playing!" Is this the end of our hero? Will his parents make him grow up to be a nice Mandalorian? Will he ever appear in a fluff again? Was there indeed a plot? Answers: 1. PLEASEPLEASEPLEASE 2. Eh? 3. Lets hope not 4. Nope THE END Matt Francis rkf@globalnet.co.uk Return-path: Received: from listmail.aol.com (listmail.aol.com) by DRYCAS.CLUB.CC.CMU.EDU (PMDF V5.0-5 #7763) id <01IBI2TOS3EWHXIRHF@DRYCAS.CLUB.CC.CMU.EDU> for JAE@DRYCAS.CLUB.CC.CMU.EDU; Tue, 05 Nov 1996 21:47:05 -0400 (EDT) Received: from LISTSERV.AOL.COM by listmail.aol.com (LSMTP for Windows NT v1.0a) with SMTP id 5C73D1D0 ; Tue, 05 Nov 1996 20:46:04 -0500 Received: from LISTSERV.AOL.COM by LISTSERV.AOL.COM (LISTSERV-TCP/IP release 1.8c) with spool id 320313 for SW-RPG@LISTSERV.AOL.COM; Tue, 05 Nov 1996 20:36:32 -0500 Received: from service1.cc.uky.edu (service1.uky.edu [128.163.1.168]) by listserv.aol.com (8.6.12/8.6.12) with ESMTP id UAA16285 for ; Tue, 05 Nov 1996 20:36:28 -0500 Received: from ncc.uky.edu ([128.163.17.204]) by service1.cc.uky.edu (8.8.0/8.7.Beta.13) with SMTP id UAA29611 for ; Tue, 05 Nov 1996 20:37:18 -0500 (EST) Date: Tue, 05 Nov 1996 20:37:16 -0500 From: "Eric Lee Cline, Star Wars Junkie" Subject: FLUFF: Raptor One's End Sender: Star Wars Role Playing Game Discussion Group X-Sender: elclin0@pop.uky.edu To: SW-RPG@LISTSERV.AOL.COM Reply-to: "Eric Lee Cline, Star Wars Junkie" Message-id: <2.2.32.19961106013716.00690edc@pop.uky.edu> MIME-version: 1.0 X-Mailer: Windows Eudora Pro Version 2.2 (32) Content-type: text/plain; charset="us-ascii" Content-transfer-encoding: 7BIT Raptor thwacked his HTV hard. That should do it! *** Eildath the Dark and all of his forces watched the universe change back to normal. Being the only group to laminate their character sheets, they were protected. However, noone would let this knowledge out of the Darkhold Reach... Eildath stared at the stormy sky, and swore to one say return to the fluff. THE END Eric Lee Cline, Star Wars Junkie (elclin0@pop.uky.edu) "Ernest Hemingway once wrote, 'The world is a fine place, and worth fighting for.' I agree with the second part." - Lieutenant William Somerset (Morgan Freeman), Se7en Visit my homepage at http://sac.uky.edu/~elclin0/